sex Swinging

Is the Leadup the Best Part of Swinging?

For me, the best part of swinging/hotwifing/cuckolding/threesomes is the buildup, rather than the sex itself. I love the foreplay and flirting.

For me, the leadup to swinging can absolutely be the best part about the entire experience. That isn’t always the case, especially when it’s with a guy I’ve been with a bunch of times before and there hasn’t been a very long break between threesomes (or whatever we’re doing). But more often than not, the leadup is my favorite part.

I’ll use the first time my husband and I had me sleep with another guy as an example. We had been talking about it for a long time, but we just hadn’t gone through with it. That didn’t mean I had stopped thinking about it, though. I hadn’t. In fact, I had been fantasizing about sharing that experience with him from before we had even started talking about it.

But when we decided to go through with it, I took my time, searching for the right guy, flirting with prospective partners. It was fun to be on the dating scene again and to see men want me. I felt sexy and desirable and took that new energy back home with me.

I finally settled on one guy in particular that seemed promising. He was my age, attractive, and easy to get along with. We flirted via e-mail and text for a long time and there never really seemed to be a lull in the conversation. Eventually, I got drinks with him just to feel out the waters and rule him out if he just didn’t seem to live up to expectations.

But he did live up to expectations. I didn’t do anything with him that night and just left it as a good first date of sorts that had followed a lot of fun, flirty conversation. My husband (then boyfriend) and I talked a lot about what we each wanted me to do with this new guy, what I liked about him, and what I was most excited about. It was really freeing to be able to be sexually attracted to another man and to not only be able to tell my husband about it, but to be able to really discuss it with him. It was so much fun – he had even checked out guys with me before that to help me find someone that we thought would work.

Sometime after that first date, I was out with some friends on a girls’ night when this other guy texted me to see if I was interested in going over to his place. I was. I really was. I had been regretting not taking things farther at our first real date, but I was still making sure my husband was okay with everything.

So, I called my husband when I left the bar and told him that this other guy asked if I wanted to come over. I didn’t say he asked me to come over to his place for sex, but I didn’t need to. We all knew that was what he meant.

I was so nervous to make that call, but extremely excited. At the time, I wasn’t entirely sure how he would respond. He wanted me to have sex with this guy and come home to him afterwards, bringing sloppy seconds with me. See my earlier post about sloppy seconds. I had never had that request before and didn’t quite understand the appeal.

But he seemed as enthused as I did and quickly told me to go ahead and head over to this guy’s place. So I did.

His place was really nice. Downtown, loft, great building. I was so excited to be there that I could have skipped all foreplay. In a lot of ways, it felt like a one-night stand, but the buildup to the event made it so much bigger. And better.

I don’t really remember much of what happened at the beginning. He gave me a tour and we hung out in his place, just letting the sexual tension hang in the air. Eventually, we started kissing and the clothes came off.

All was great up to this point. Of course. Now that we had reached the climax, so to speak. I was dripping wet and couldn’t wait to fulfill one of my husband’s biggest desires, but my new friend was… not so up to the task.

I chalked it up to nerves and used my hands to try to get him hard. No go.

Okay, I thought. I wasn’t expecting this, particularly from a 23-year-old guy, but I figured it was nothing we couldn’t work through. I pushed him back so he was on the couch and got to my knees, taking his cock in my mouth. I pulled out my phone and snapped a quick picture (husband’s request) and kept sucking on him to get him hard.

It’s not like I had never sucked on my husband to get him hard before, but I don’t think it ever took more than thirty seconds or so. Three minutes in and I still have a limp noodle in my mouth. By five minutes or so, he finally gets (mostly) hard.

He puts my on the couch and gets on top of me, trying to enter me missionary style. Already, he had started to go soft and he struggled to even get inside of me. He finally does, but it doesn’t do all that much for me. He definitely lied when he said he was better hung than my husband, but was semi-hard when he entered and went fully-soft again while inside.

He suggested that we go to his bedroom and try a different position. I agree. I figure that it can’t really get any worse. I dropped to my knees and started giving him a blowjob again. Perhaps seeing me on my knees would help get him hard? Maybe he liked the more subservient-looking partner and just hadn’t told me?

Whether that was it or not, he did get hard pretty quickly and put a new condom on. He said he wanted me to ride him, cowgirl style, since that was his favorite position.

I obliged and slid him in without hesitating. I didn’t want to risk him going soft again and it looked like he was already on his way just from the time it took to put on the condom.

Sex in that position lasted all of about 40 seconds before he blew his load. No apologies for being so short. No attempt to go down on me to get me off. Nothing of the sort and I leave, pretty unfulfilled.

To top it off, my husband is horny AF when I get home. I was nervous to tell him about everything, but I did. He was as disappointed as I was that the sex was so disappointing, but still incredibly turned on by hearing about me describe going through with everything and seeing the one picture I took. He laid me on my back and went down on me, telling me that he could smell the condom on me and that it looked like I had sex. We did missionary and then cowgirl, just to match the other guy.

However, he was so horny that he lasted all of about three minutes with me on top of him, pushing me off his dick and cumming all over my lower back. Which never happens with him. Never. He had better self-control when I didn’t let him cum for the entire month of November.

So, I had fucked two men in the course of about 30 minutes and made both of them cum, but hadn’t gotten close myself at all. To be fair to my husband, that hasn’t happened since, and – like a gentlemen – he flipped me over and used his tongue to give me a well-deserved orgasm.

I mean, I’m happy I did it and everything. The process of finding a guy and flirting, teasing (both the new guy and my husband) was a lot of fun, and I feel like it really brought my husband and I together in a lot of ways. But the actual hotwifing portion? Not so good. Not so good at all.

Even when I’ve had great sex with new guys, I still usually prefer the flirting and the foreplay and everything that comes before the sex over the actual sex.

I’d love to hear other’s thoughts and experiences.

And, as always, please be sure to check out some of my works about hotwifing and cuckolding:

By aliciastillsauthor

I am a romance and erotica writer and have been publishing my works since May 2020. I'm married with children and work a full-time job, but fill my free time with writing and exploring fantasies with my husband.

Of particular interest to me are genres involving female empowerment, swinging, wife sharing, hotwife and slutwife relationships, MFM threesomes and other group sex, and polyamory. After growing up in an environment that treated all sex as being taboo and immoral, being able to write about and explore various scenarios where one woman is involved with multiple men at once has helped her continue her own journey of self-discovery.

Most of my stories are purely of my own imagination, although many have some degree of inspiration from my own experiences.

2 replies on “Is the Leadup the Best Part of Swinging?”

Usually, although there were guys I had casually been with before my husband and I started dating as well. We used a few different apps, each with mixed success. There’s a lot of garbage out there and it can be a little daunting for a woman to go through all of the responses that come in from various men. Tinder and OKCupid probably worked the best for us.


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