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How Can a Woman Bring Up Hotwifing or Cuckolding Successfully?

In my last post, I wrote about how men are almost always the ones to bring up hotwifing and cuckolding desires to their partner. It would be great if it didn’t seem like that was always the case, but we don’t seem to be there yet.

Which brings up another good question: If you’re a woman and you want to be a hotwife, how can you bring that up to your husband or boyfriend? Can it even be done successfully?

Just because it doesn’t seem to happen successfully very often, that doesn’t mean that I think it can’t be done successfully. I just think that it presents new difficulties. Namely, you have to be able to do it in a way that doesn’t make your partner feel threatened. After all, it’s only natural for a man to worry he is inadequate once his partner brings up the idea of a relationship that is only open on her side.

I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on the matter, but I think I have enough experience to have a few decent ideas. Let me know your thoughts, or, if you’re a woman, how you’ve had success in the past.

Take It Slow

I think the biggest thing to avoid doing is to just sit your husband down and bluntly come right out and say that you want to be a hotwife. I know, I know – open and honest communication is key, especially with something like this. However, I think you run the risk of really putting your partner off if you approach it like that. You’ll have a harder time with helping him realize that he wants this too if he feels attacked and gets defensive. Bring it along slowly and let him warm up to the idea at his own pace. Perhaps he’ll be ready to jump right into it. Or perhaps he’ll need some time for the idea to grow on him.

I want to be clear that you certainly don’t want to mislead him at all, and you certainly don’t want to approach this in a way that manipulates him in any way. This is really about being honest, while also remaining tactful and giving him the time he needs to get over any socializations against wifesharing he might already have. Some men are huge babies about this sort of thing and will throw a tantrum at the idea. If this isn’t something that you absolutely need to have in your relationship, but is more something you would like to try, approaching this slowly might help avoid some ugliness if he’s the type that will never be open to MFM or hotwifing.

Work Hotwifing/Cuckolding Into Conversation

So how do you slow play something like this? I think that if you can start a dialogue of some sort about the topic without directly addressing that this is something you want to be doing, it can get him thinking about the topic on his own. Make a joke or two about MFM threesomes. It’s lighthearted, nonthreatening, and it can soften him up to the whole idea.

Watch MFM or Wifesharing Porn

So what if you can’t really naturally bring the topic up or make a joke to get the the subject out there? One obvious way would be to watch porn together. Make sure it isn’t the ridiculous, over-the-top kind of porn where the husband is being ridiculed or degraded in ways that only porn does, but something that reflects the more welcoming kind of thing you would more realistically want to be doing.

Read MFM/Wifesharing Erotica

Like mine:

And don’t try to hide it. Again, it can make him start thinking about the idea without it feeling pushed onto him or threatening him. It lets him get comfortable with the possibility at his own pace, and it lets him see that the idea is a turn on for you.

Know Why You Want to be a Hotwife

I think this one is very important. You don’t need to come at him with a bullet point list of the reasons why you want to be a hotwife. Actually, I think that would be weird and off-putting.

However, you should know what about the practice appeals to you and you should be able to explain it to him. Hopefully none of the reasons are that it’s because you find him to be sexually incompetent. If you do think he’s bad in bed, that’s probably a different conversation the two of you should be having. I would keep this one focused on all of the reasons why being a hotwife is appealing that don’t involve getting better sex (at until/unless you know that’s a turn on for him).

And there are plenty. If nothing else, I think that all men understand the appeal of a threesome. No one questions that literally all straight men would have sex with two women at once. It’s tough for men to seriously argue that they don’t understand how the inverse wouldn’t apply for women as well. You should also know what exactly you’re interested in doing since there are multiple ways to be a hotwife.

Know What Benefits He Would Get From It

Many men find there are many benefits to being a cuckold (or stag, if you prefer). He can probably figure out most of the benefits himself, especially since they can vary from person to person. But it would be good for you to know what you think he would enjoy about the situation by the time the conversation comes up.

Be Confident

And don’t apologize for having completely normal sexual desires if it comes to that. There’s nothing wrong with a woman wanting to have sex with more than one man and you should be able to acknowledge that fact without feeling like you should be ashamed. No one is going to make a man feel ashamed because he thinks that an FMF threesome is sexy, so why should a woman be ashamed at thinking an MFM threesome is sexy?

Make Sure He Knows He is Still Your Number One

If you’re trying to do this as a way to fill a void in your relationship or you feel there are other big problems that this would be helping you cover up, you probably aren’t going to be set up to succeed as a hotwife. Assuming your relationship is going well, I would say that you should also make sure that he knows that nothing that would happen would make him replaceable. As it is put here:

You want to be able to provide honest reassurance that he is still your number one and that you won’t do anything that makes him uncomfortable. It would be best if you also were willing to give your word that he can withdraw his agreement at any time.

And that’s it! Hopefully some combination of the above will work for you, because I’m always in support of more people engaging in MFM threesomes. Of course, if you prefer to just jump right in flatly tell your partner that you want to have sex with other men, be my guest. I think you’re not likely to have that go well, but I could certainly be wrong.

By aliciastillsauthor

I am a romance and erotica writer and have been publishing my works since May 2020. I'm married with children and work a full-time job, but fill my free time with writing and exploring fantasies with my husband.

Of particular interest to me are genres involving female empowerment, swinging, wife sharing, hotwife and slutwife relationships, MFM threesomes and other group sex, and polyamory. After growing up in an environment that treated all sex as being taboo and immoral, being able to write about and explore various scenarios where one woman is involved with multiple men at once has helped her continue her own journey of self-discovery.

Most of my stories are purely of my own imagination, although many have some degree of inspiration from my own experiences.

4 replies on “How Can a Woman Bring Up Hotwifing or Cuckolding Successfully?”

men enjoy being a cuckold because they have no real choice, a woman dominates them and they submit and they find reasons to do what they really have no choice over, i am a perfect example

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I completely disagree. Men always have a choice and the choice to indulge in hotwifing and cuckolding with their partner is a mutual decision. If they truly had no agency, a cuckolding relationship would be completely disrespectful and (at a minimum) borderline abusive.

You may play the role of a man incapable of being an equal, but that is how you choose to live within your relationship.

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I think that society puts the onus on men to bring up fantasies and kinks which isn’t fair. With trust and good communication in a relationship, you can both share your most dirty fantasies and enjoy them together and see whether you would both like to try.

James https://skinmap.co.uk

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There are women who cuckold men and do not care how the man feels such as Cheryl Tiggs and Billy Joel. There are women who cuck a man and either he does not know or pretends not to. My cousin has had a husband and two lovers since she was married fifty years ago. One of her daughters openly cucks her men. There are women who want to cuck their man but do not know how to do it so either do not or end up in a mess Then there are women who lead a man into a maze where the only exit is to accept what she desires. My wife lead me by going up my ass and by fantasy talk, when she did have her first other man it kept going and soon i was licking cum from her and then sucking cock and licking her as she got fucked. We had long term friends and one night stands and i became a willing partner, i believe all men who share a woman are cucks in a way. I am not submissive but i am for some women such as my nurse practitioner. I submit because i know it pleases her and makes for a better relationship. She has demonstrated her dominance by having me let other nurses she was training perform a prostrate check on me. I lay in a fetal position naked from the waste down facing the wall, the trainee slides a finger in me and touches my prostrate while she watches. As soon as the finger goes in I do feel submissive and when it touches my prostrate it is confusing because it feels so good that i want more even though i feel strange . When they are finished they could collar me and put a leash on me but instead they just smile

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