Tag: stripper

Categories
General sex

The Appeal of CFNM

My first CFNM book is available on Amazon

The appeal of engaging in CFNM, or “Clothed Female, Naked Male,” is obvious for most women. As a group, we may not be as visual, sexually, as most men, but that doesn’t mean we don’t like to look. And touch. And tease. And feel like we have a little more power in a situation than the man does.

But what’s the appeal for men?

Interestingly, I’ve found that men are just as into CFNM as women are, and perhaps more. And the reasons can be pretty similar to women’s reasons.

At the forefront, exhibitionism plays a large role. Just like most women like to look—at least a little bit—the men who like CFNM like to be looked at by women.

But beyond that, there’s a dynamic shift in power and attention. Whenever you think of a room full of people with only one or two people naked, most picture women being the nude ones. That plays into the historical stereotype of women being the submissive ones, the ones there to look good for men.

And this imbalance is still strong. It’s hard to get a good count of number of strippers in the United States, but estimates of female dancers range from 150,000-250,000. Compare that to men being somewhere in the range of 5,000-15,000. This shift in typical roles can be very appealing to a lot of men.

So at its core, CFNM flips the usual script. For many men, being the one undressed while the women remain clothed creates a fresh, exhilarating vulnerability. It’s a moment where typical roles are reversed, and that alone can be liberating. It’s not about discomfort but rather about embracing exposure and the raw authenticity that comes with it.

Beyond the physical aspect, CFNM taps into psychological elements. The dynamic puts men in a position of being observed, admired, or even judged, which can heighten the senses and intensify emotional connection. It’s a space where confidence is tested and often boosted by the attention and acceptance of clothed female partners or admirers.

Many men also find the aesthetic contrast compelling—the juxtaposition of clothed femininity with male nudity creates a visually stimulating scene that blends power, beauty, and sensuality. It’s an invitation to appreciate the human body in a fresh context, emphasizing trust and openness.

CFNM can also foster a sense of intimacy and playful teasing. The clothed partner(s) often holds a sense of control, which can heighten anticipation and excitement.

Personally, I love the vulnerability that comes with any consensual power exchange. Something as simple as one-sided nudity can bring with it a vulnerability that people don’t often get. Especially when the women hold the power instead of being the stereotyped submissive being.

If you enjoy CFNM play, I would love to hear what you like most about it.

Categories
sex

How Slippery is the Slope?

My husband and I were talking about the slippery slope that may (or may not) exist in the sex industry. Specifically, how big of a leap is it for a stripper to go from giving lap dances to giving blowjobs for money? 

My husband said that he thinks that – for the stripper – the jump isn’t all that big. Working in a job where you’re naked or nearly naked all the time and rubbing against strange guys for cash desensitizes the dancers so much that the vast majority of them would view giving a blowjob (or more) as being just a baby step beyond giving a lap dance. 

On the one hand, let’s just acknowledge right off the bat that everyone has a price, whether they want to readily admit or not. Most of us don’t know what our price is, exactly, and we’ll never experience having someone offer us an absurd amount of money for some sexual act, but I have no doubt that if a random guy offered my husband five million dollars for a blowjob, my hubby would have the highest paid fifteen minutes of his life. And the same could be said for virtually everyone else in the world, give or take a few million bucks.

But that doesn’t mean I think it’s a small step for a stripper to become a prostitute; I think that blowing the customers is the rare exception, rather than any kind of norm. It definitely happens, but I would guess it’s a very small percentage of the time. I think it’s still a pretty big move to go from giving a lap dance to a fully clothed stranger to demonstrating your deepthroat skills to him. 

Pornstars, on the other hand, are a different story to me. When I think about it, if a woman is already comfortable with having sex with a guy on camera in a room full of people (primarily men), all of whom are in close proximity to her to begin with, I feel that having sex with two men is barely any different. Unless it’s going to include double penetration (and even then, it depends on what she was doing with just the one guy), the things she would do with two guys is really similar to what she was already doing with one and she’s still doing it on camera and in front of the same number of other people. 

But strippers? I think that’s a different story. Maybe it differs between a strip club versus a stripper that would come to a private house/party. Most places (at least in the U.S.) don’t have male strip clubs, but parties where women have hired male strippers have a reputation for getting far, far raunchier than any guys’ night out at a strip club. But male or female, regulations outside of an established business are naturally going to be harder to enforce, so I suppose that a lot of the private party strippers who do want to get paid for… extracurriculars… may gravitate to that more private venue because it’s what they wanted in the first place.

I still think that stripping and engaging in prostitution are very different situations, though. Obviously, there’s some crossover, but just think that a lot of women who are okay with being a prostitute will also strip if they’re attractive enough, both to have a cover for legitimate income and to meet prospective customers. 

Just my two cents. What do others think?

And as always, please be sure to check out my published works.

On His Orders: Faithfully Unfaithful and On His Orders: Entertaining Three and Hooky. Previews and additional links can be found here: All My Works
Strictly Business: Tormenting Tom. Previews and additional links can be found here: All My Works