Category: General

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General sex

The Appeal of CFNM

My first CFNM book is available on Amazon

The appeal of engaging in CFNM, or “Clothed Female, Naked Male,” is obvious for most women. As a group, we may not be as visual, sexually, as most men, but that doesn’t mean we don’t like to look. And touch. And tease. And feel like we have a little more power in a situation than the man does.

But what’s the appeal for men?

Interestingly, I’ve found that men are just as into CFNM as women are, and perhaps more. And the reasons can be pretty similar to women’s reasons.

At the forefront, exhibitionism plays a large role. Just like most women like to look—at least a little bit—the men who like CFNM like to be looked at by women.

But beyond that, there’s a dynamic shift in power and attention. Whenever you think of a room full of people with only one or two people naked, most picture women being the nude ones. That plays into the historical stereotype of women being the submissive ones, the ones there to look good for men.

And this imbalance is still strong. It’s hard to get a good count of number of strippers in the United States, but estimates of female dancers range from 150,000-250,000. Compare that to men being somewhere in the range of 5,000-15,000. This shift in typical roles can be very appealing to a lot of men.

So at its core, CFNM flips the usual script. For many men, being the one undressed while the women remain clothed creates a fresh, exhilarating vulnerability. It’s a moment where typical roles are reversed, and that alone can be liberating. It’s not about discomfort but rather about embracing exposure and the raw authenticity that comes with it.

Beyond the physical aspect, CFNM taps into psychological elements. The dynamic puts men in a position of being observed, admired, or even judged, which can heighten the senses and intensify emotional connection. It’s a space where confidence is tested and often boosted by the attention and acceptance of clothed female partners or admirers.

Many men also find the aesthetic contrast compelling—the juxtaposition of clothed femininity with male nudity creates a visually stimulating scene that blends power, beauty, and sensuality. It’s an invitation to appreciate the human body in a fresh context, emphasizing trust and openness.

CFNM can also foster a sense of intimacy and playful teasing. The clothed partner(s) often holds a sense of control, which can heighten anticipation and excitement.

Personally, I love the vulnerability that comes with any consensual power exchange. Something as simple as one-sided nudity can bring with it a vulnerability that people don’t often get. Especially when the women hold the power instead of being the stereotyped submissive being.

If you enjoy CFNM play, I would love to hear what you like most about it.

Categories
General Writing

E-books or Print?

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

For me, I think I will always prefer to have a real book in my hands. It just feels better to have a real book that I can hold, complete with pages that make a slight rustling sound as I physically flip the page like some old-timer still oblivious to the newfangled technology.

Besides, I spend so much time in front of screens as it is, it’s nice to get a break.

But I have to admit, since starting to publish my own books as e-books, they’ve grown on me. I’m getting used to reading e-books, even if it isn’t my first choice. And it’s nice that you have more options so readily available, many of which are free and all of which are cheaper than a print book.

How do others feel? I’m reading more books in e-format than I ever thought I would now, but I think if I were rich, I’d just burn the extra money on physical copies.

Regardless of your preference, all of my works are available in either paperback or e-book formats.

Strictly Business: Tormenting Tom. Previews and additional links can be found here: All My Works

Otherwise, my stories about one woman taking more than one man at a time may be more your speed.

On His Orders: Faithfully Unfaithful and On His Orders: Entertaining Three and Hooky. Previews and additional links can be found here: All My Works
Categories
General sex

Who Enjoys Facials?

And not the kind you get at the spa.

Serious question, but do any women really like them? I suppose I mean, do large numbers of women enjoy when a man slathers her face in baby gravy? Obviously, some women will enjoy them – there is a fetish for pretty much anything.

But am I alone in thinking they aren’t all that great? I wrote about my feelings on the act in an earlier post. On my best day, I’m neutral about it. Usually, they feel kind of gross. If my husband were really into them, I would do it, but I prefer not to.

Is the idea only in people’s mind due to porn? As far as porn goes, it makes perfect sense to me that facials are the norm. Porn is obviously a visual medium and facials are the visual embodiment of the climax (or several, if you have a gangbang). The women can fake orgasms for the entire scene, but there’s not really a visual aspect, aside from exaggerated facial expressions until the man blows his load. There are other options, but I don’t think it’s hard to see why facials are just the most popular and common finisher.

But what about in real life? Or with erotica? When I read about the act, I think about how a bukkake would be fun to try, but for the most part, I’m thinking about how my past facials have been sorta gross, messy, and how I was just trying to keep it out of my eyes and hair.

My husband is on the same page as me. He likes them fine, but it doesn’t feel any better for him and since I’m not super into them, he says it makes him prefer to finish some other way.

Anyway, I just wonder if facials would even be a thing people tried if it weren’t for porn.

But if you want a story about a Domme that would never take a facial, be sure to check out Strictly Business: Tormenting Tom.

Strictly Business: Tormenting Tom. Previews and additional links can be found here: All My Works

Otherwise, my stories about one woman taking more than one man at a time may be more your speed.

On His Orders: Faithfully Unfaithful and On His Orders: Entertaining Three and Hooky. Previews and additional links can be found here: All My Works
Categories
General Uncategorized

In Defense of Justin Timberlake

This is a little off topic in comparison to my normal posts, but it’s been all over the news, so I wanted to write a post about it.

I’m sure you’ve at least heard about the Britney Spears documentary on Hulu, Framing Britney Spears, if not watched it by now. Much of the discussion around it deals with Justin Timberlake and how many people feel like he is at least partially at fault for her current state. He mistreated her, owes her an apology, and is, in general, a misogynistic prick.

Let me just say, I’m underwhelmed by these attacks on Justin Timberlake. Personally, I don’t care for him at all. But let’s lay blame where blame belongs, and there’s plenty to go around. For my part, I’m blown away by that Diane Sawyer interview.

But Justin Timberlake? Let’s put things into perspective. They broke up just after his 21st birthday. And not to excuse immaturity due to young age, but 21 year olds aren’t exactly known for being models of maturity.

And what exactly did he do? Say he had sex with Britney Spears? Not lecture people for asking him if he had sex with her in somewhat crude terms? Okay.

And then he made a couple of songs about her cheating on him. Again, and okay? He’s a musician. Musicians write about life experiences a lot of the times. He’s hardly the only one to do so, and the songs aren’t crass or abusive towards her. They were nothing special.

Plus, take into account that she did apparently cheat on him, which makes it not surprising that he was hurt and angry. Was it the most mature thing to do? Of course not, but this is hardly unique. Taylor Swift makes songs about her former boyfriends and people celebrate her. Beyoncé makes a song about her husband cheating and people celebrate her braveness. I really don’t see how this is different.

I can’t imagine being famous, especially when you’re still in your twenties. All of us have done so many immature things that we wish we could take back from that time of our lives, but we have the privilege of not having those mistakes recorded forever. I’m sure, like the rest of us, there are aspects of how he acted when he was in his early and mid twenties that he wishes he could take back. Even if it would have been saying “hey, please speak about my ex, who cheated on me and who I am not on good terms with, more respectfully.”

And then throwing in Janet Jackson again? It was apparently a stunt planned in part by Janet Jackson, but they were just supposed to end up with her bra exposed. Whether that’s true or not I know is debated. She did have a sparkly nipple pasty on underneath after all, which, to me, seems to point to that she planned for the boob to be out.

And whether there was a wardrobe malfunction or whether they got the intended result, I just don’t get why people had to be upset about it. Obviously, people made it a big deal, but what a lot to do about nothing.

For Timberlake’s part, he’s supposedly the bad guy for going along with a plan presented to him by others, including Jackson, who he had worked with before and respected? I just don’t see it. I actually think it’s pretty diminutive of women to say that Timberlake was responsible for Jackson in that instance. It isn’t really his role to say she can’t or shouldn’t have part of her costume removed to expose her bra. He could say he’s uncomfortable participating if he was. But it’s still her body and her right.

If the costume just ripped more than it was supposed to, okay, and that sucks. He’s definitely partially to blame for that and should apologize. He did apologize, even if it was one of those really poor “sorry if you were offended” apologies.

I really only see him as being truly a giant dick if (1) his interviews about Spears were actually calculated and intended to demean her person, knowing she was in a fragile mental state, following up with songs intended to break her, and (2) he intentionally ripped Jackson’s costume more than anyone else intended, including Jackson. In that case, he would be an unrepentant psychopath who gets off on mental torture who also is comfortable with sexually assaulting a woman in national TV.

And I just don’t see that. I see someone who was 21 and immature acting like an immature 21 year old, and a 23 year old caught in (at worst) a wardrobe malfunction that people overreacted about.

Again, not a Timberlake fan, but cancel culture coming after him for this seems to be a misdirection of anger.

Categories
Erotica General Swinging

Interracial Cuckolding and the Problem with Race

I find myself considering the topic of race as it relates to interracial cuckolding a lot. Every time I think about it, I can’t get past the issue of what role, exactly, race plays in the situations. Far too often, the sentiment behind the image at the top of this post is too relevant for my liking.

I’ll start by saying that I have absolutely no issues with interracial relationships, attraction to certain races over others, or anything like that. Everyone is entitled to be attracted to whatever feature it is that they prefer. Many people are more attracted to certain races, and (since it’s not 1960), I fully support that.

But… I do have to question the motivation behind interracial cuckolding.

Perhaps some will disagree with me about the depictions made in porn, but I don’t think there’s much of a question that the pornography industry plays heavily on racist tropes. Innocent-looking woman being taken by a “thug,” particularly groups of thuggish black men. Latina women playing the role of subservient maid. Racist language throughout. Differences in race being fetishized and highlighted throughout the scene. There’s more on that here: Interracial Cuckold Porn, as well as many other sources. And others have noted that – specifically in relation to the cuckold genre – cuckold scenes very frequently feature a black man as the bull and a white man being cucked, whereas the inverse is very rarely true.

Why is that?

All I keep coming back to is that it’s a continuation of racist depictions that naturally play into the cuckolding desires. Many men enjoy being cuckolded due to the humiliation factor involved in the practice. There’s also an aspect of role reversal that can be a turn on.

Even though there are quite a few reasons why men want to be cuckolded by their partner, humiliation is the one that most people focus on, particularly in the porn industry. They do so in a very shallow and cartoonish sort of way, but it’s a primary focus.

So, as a white couple, having a black man sleep with your wife is presumed to make the entire situation more embarrassing. The roles have really been reversed as well. Now, not only is the man subservient to his wife, but he’s also subservient to a black man as well. Twice the role reversal, twice the humiliation, I guess.

I think this is why the interracial depictions in the industry have always made me uncomfortable. Race has been inserted into the discussion as an additional factor that is supposed to be so obvious as to be presumed to be more degrading.

Not that it’s always that way, but I struggle to see it any other way in most circumstances. I know there are more innocent explanations for a lot couples that put this into practice – obviously, the humiliation factor may be enhanced for some white men who simply view men of other races as superior in some manner. And a woman may simply be more sexually attracted to men of a different race, even if her partner isn’t of that race. So I’m not going to draw any absolutes here.

But I’m still strongly suspect of the fetishization of races, particularly in the context of cuckolding.

Anyway, it’s just some food for thought. Please be sure to check out some of my works about hotwifing and cuckolding:

On His Orders: Faithfully Unfaithful and On His Orders: Entertaining Three. Previews and additional links can be found here: All My Works
Categories
Erotica General sex

Butt-Con? Sign My Ass Up!

I just came across this yesterday, but a convention all about butts went off in Manhattan last August and I, for one, am sad that I’ve never been to such a thing. It all sounds so ridiculous and awesome and just what the world needs right about now.

Porn stars? Anal rejuvenation surgeons? Professional cake sitters (I guess that’s a thing)? Cosmetic butt surgeons, twerking classes, and more?

Maybe when the world opens up again….

You can see more of what we missed out on here: https://buttcon.splashthat.com/

Categories
General

Restrictions Being Lifted: Any Plans?

Covid-19 related restrictions are slowly being lifted across the United States and other parts of the world (at least temporarily). What are your plans with the eased restrictions?

For us, probably not much will change. Both my husband and I are required to continue working from home and my children will be on summer break soon. We still aren’t going to rush out to restaurants and other stores for quite a while.

The biggest change will be seeing other family. My kids finally got to see grandparents again, a much-needed break for everyone. We’re looking forward to a grandkid sleepover at the grandparents’ house sometime soon so we can finally have the house to ourselves. We’ll limit our quality adult time to just the two of us for the foreseeable future, but boy will it be nice just to have that somewhat extended adult time.

Categories
General sex

Sex Toy Review, Butt Plug Edition

We have a pretty decent collection of toys, so I’ll take a little break from my reviews after this one. But next up is the Crystal Jelly Anal Delight butt plug we purchased!

With quarantine and practicing social distancing, my husband and I haven’t had anyone join us in quite some time, even though we both would enjoy a good threesome right about now. To that end, we purchased a new butt plug, to the dimensions pictured above.

To start, I’ll say that I’m not a big fan of anal. It can be fun if my partner is going slowly, warming me up, and making sure my body has a chance to take it up the ass as long as it’s something that we’re doing only once in a while. It can hurt a little bit and I generally don’t enjoy the feeling of having something in my butt. I’ve been double penetrated more than a small handful of times, though, and it almost always gives me a better orgasm. I’ve never found that being DP’ed is more likely to be slightly painful than regular anal, but it does make sex feel far more intense and magnifies the feeling of the guy in my pussy.

I have three other butt plugs, which are all stainless steel gem plugs of varying size that I got in a three pack years ago. I think they’re fun little additions, but they’re also very short and don’t do much in terms of simulating double penetration.

This, however, is different. With about 5 inches of plug that can be inserted, it fills me pretty deeply. When I wear this while having sex with my husband, it definitely mimics the feeling of being double penetrated much more than the gem plugs we have. I also think the material itself is more comfortable than the steel. This is soft and squishy and much more… forgiving, inside of you. Unlike the steel, there is some “give” when your body pushes against these.

Also, it stays in place really well and doesn’t shift when changing positions or start to slide out during sex. That happens occasionally with the other plugs.

As for the drawbacks, I don’t think this was accurately described. I saw it advertised in multiple places and the manufacturer likes to say that this is great for beginners. Frankly, I beg to differ. This looks relatively intimidating when you take it out of the packaging. At it’s thickest point – the fifth bump, it’s about as thick as a real cock. In my opinion, that makes it not ideal for beginners.

Additionally, in addition to being long, the tapering is minimal between bumps until you get the whole thing inserted. It’s pitched as though you can just use a little bit, depending on personal preference, but I don’t see how that’s realistic. Maybe you could only use four bumps instead of all five, but I think you would need to use at least four. Even once you get the fifth bump inserted, it doesn’t taper all that much. It stays in, for sure, but I like how the gem plugs taper more. For me, anal is only uncomfortable at that point of insertion, so the smaller it tapers down to, the more comfortable it tends to be.

Obviously, cocks don’t taper, but they also don’t usually stay five inches deep into your ass. The end result was that it makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable with how permanently full it leaves me feeling.

Overall, 3 of 5 stars. I like the material and I generally like the length, but I would prefer something shorter and something that tapered a little more. Perhaps anal beads would be more my style.

Categories
General sex

Sex Toy Review, Part 3: Restraints

Restrained to the Bed.

Or anywhere else you choose for that matter.

The actual restraints we purchased were from Adam & Eve, but it is now out-of-stock and not showing on their website currently. But it was very similar to this: https://www.amazon.com/Trinity-Vibes-AB691-Bedroom-Restraint/dp/B0073JVY9C (note: I am not an Amazon affiliate and make no money from posting links). We debated for a while about what kind of restraints to go with and were considering something like this and a hogtie option. We went with this one, thinking that it would be more comfortable over longer stretches than a system that keeps one of us hogtied.

I could still go either way, but overall, I like the restraint system. The cuffs can be made to be pretty tight around either the ankles or wrists, but they’re soft enough to not chafe or get uncomfortable. I like that either one of us can be stuck there, but not in a way that hurts.

Some of the reviews said that you needed a headboard and a footboard in order to make these work since you needed something to attach the restraints to. So we were a little bit worried about that when we ordered since we only have a headboard. However, that didn’t apply and we were able to attach these just fine. The restraints were long enough to easily reach the headboard, as well as go all the way under the mattress and box spring to tie to the legs on the bedframe. We’ve used them a few times just to experiment with what we prefer, and they are long enough to remove the slack and pull the arms and legs away from the body so the person getting tied up can’t move and flail much. We can also leave enough space so they can bring the arms/legs closer to the body.

My husband prefers to have me spread more, When he gave me more freedom and tickled me, I was still able to flail around enough to give him some problems.

It’s a little annoying to have to get down and tie these, due in part to having to move two side tables. If you don’t have to worry about kids or others going into your bedroom and seeing the restraints on your bed, I guess it isn’t an issue, but we need to take them down every time we use them. BUT, annoying or not, I don’t really see how it could be changed. If it was just a strap that could have its length altered once connected/tied, I would be concerned that the length wouldn’t vary by as much as we’d like and I’d worry that it would slip. So it’s a minimal issue.

It also worked great when I cuffed my husband to the playset in our backyard, which I described in my last post. The length of the straps let me string him up like a sexy, naked marionette puppet, leaving his arms slightly elevated as the rest of his body hung below until I brought him back to life 20 minutes later with the whip and my mouth.

Overall, I rate this 5 of 5 due to the versatility in placement and ability to lengthen or shorten the straps as desired. The comfort level is also much higher than anything we had used in the past. It also came with a blindfold, which we do not care about it. Which is good because it doesn’t stay on very securely, even when we put it on just because it was in the box.

Categories
General sex

Sex Toy Review Part 2: Whip

Chains and Whips Excite Me

Well. Sort of. It was something to try, anyway. We went with the Scarlet Couture Beat Me Please whip, which we got through Adam and Eve.

I hadn’t ever seriously considered purchasing a whip like this, but with my husband and I dabbling a little bit in me dominating him as part of me withholding his orgasm, it seemed like a good purchase. Prior to getting the whip, I had only jokingly spanked him a handful (no pun intended) of times. Using my hand was okay, but I had always preferred to have an item to do the spanking. I’ve used a belt two or three times, but the belts were kind of stiff and didn’t leave for much control. More than anything, the belts felt awkward in my hand and I had a difficult time knowing exactly how hard I was hitting him.

This was much different. It wasn’t the most hardcore whip we could have chosen as others were described as providing a much larger “bite,” but it also wasn’t the weakest. The description was that it provided a good sound and just enough of a smack so your partner would feel it.

We found that was pretty accurate. It feels good in my hand and I think it’s a lot of fun just to crack the whip, both for the feeling and to hear the sound. It’s easy to know how hard I’m whipping my husband, and, I can hit him fairly hard without it providing too much of a sting.

We aren’t big into pain by any means, but delivering a whip with this is a lot of fun for me and makes my husband get a little hard. The last time we used it was when we wrapped up eight days of me withholding his orgasm. I tied him to the playset in our backyard in the nude at nighttime (our yard is private enough to not have to worry about neighbors when it’s dark) and left him there for twenty minutes. When I came back, I whipped him with this toy before getting on my knees and giving him a blowjob while he was still restrained.

Overall, 5 of 5 stars, primarily because it fit what we were looking for pretty perfectly. It’s comfortable, feels good in the hand, makes a great sound, and delivers just a little bit of pain. People who can’t handle any sting wouldn’t like it and people who want something that will leave a solid mark the next day may be looking for something more punishing, but this is right at our level.