Categories
Erotica Uncategorized Writing

Please Review a Free Copy of Strictly Business

If you’re interested, please head over to BookSprout to pick up a free copy of Strictly Business: Tormenting Tom. The copy is free! All I ask is that if you enjoyed it, please leave a review at your favorite retailer (or multiple). Amazon is preferable, but you can choose another if you would like.

I’m still learning the ropes for a lot of the self-publishing game. One of my challenges has been figuring out how to get reviews on the books I’ve written and published. I tried BookSprout with On His Orders: Faithfully Unfaithful and at least got a few reviews.

The first 20 reviewers should be able to get a copy for free. Again, that link is: https://booksprout.co/arc/59249/strictly-business-tormenting-tom

A preview for Strictly Business is here: https://aliciastillsauthor.design.blog/2021/01/07/preview-for-strictly-business-tormenting-tom/

Categories
Erotica Writing

Strictly Business Discounted Through 2/15

Strictly Business: Tormenting Tom is on sale at a discounted price via Smashwords now through February 15, 2021. Rather than $2.99, you can pick up a copy for $1.79 using coupon code UQ25F (which is also on the checkout page).

While you’re there, feel free to check out the other featured deals currently running on the site to see if you find you’re next favorite read.

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Uncategorized

Preview for Strictly Business: Tormenting Tom

My latest work is now available for purchase on Amazon and on Smashwords. It will also be available on Barnes & Noble and Smashwords partners shortly if you prefer those retailers.

Strictly Business is my first BDSM/Femdom work and was a lot of fun to write – I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. A preview is below.

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I sit down, harder, my thighs pressing into the heels of the pumps I didn’t trouble myself to take off. Why bother? I need them for when I walk all over his body, digging the points into the many soft parts of his flesh. If he were allowed to speak, I would force him to thank me for my cruelty in between his cries of pain.

I’m sitting with such force that my tailbone is crushing the bridge of his nose through his blindfold hard enough that it hurts even me. My knees hurt as well, and I kick myself for forgetting my kneepads. I could have tied Tom to the soft bed for my sake, instead, but he deserved the hard, wooden desk that sat in the corner of every suite in the hotel. He would suffer no less for my mistake.

When I turn my head back and look down on him, his pale, blotchy skin sticks out sharply next to the darkly tanned hue of my own. The tape on his mouth hasn’t budged and he’s struggling for air, the pink in his face getting progressively darker by the second. The thin strap of fabric that’s hidden deeply in the crevasse of my ass is pressed into his nose, cutting off the only air supply I allowed him after taping his mouth shut.

The only movement I make is with my hips, slowly grinding them in a circle as I squeeze myself down onto him harder and harder, watching as his face and neck turn from pink to red and from red to maroon, his struggles against his restraints and muffled yells becoming more intense as the seconds tick past.

His struggles are entirely hopeless, and the sound of his cries make me look up and laugh. Normal people would be horrified, but I can’t help it. I hate him so much. If only he knew I would torture him for free, I wouldn’t have eight crisp one-hundred-dollar bills from him tucked safely away in my play bag. He’s so stupid that even after all our sessions, he still thinks I’m just a good actress.

As his cries reach a panicked tenor, I know he’s squirmed enough and lift my ass just high enough to hear him hungrily suck fresh oxygen in through his nose. I watch him for several moments, thoroughly repulsed by everything about him, already itching for my chance to sit again. He can pretend to hate this, but we both knew moments like this made him jerk off for weeks.

His breathing is still rapid, but the color in his face had returned to normal, and I sit down once more. His immediate howl sounded frightened, pathetic within seconds. This will be the last night I ever see him, his money being the only thing I’ll truly miss.

Categories
Erotica sex Swinging

Domination and Humiliation Ideas

My husband and I have been experimenting with female domination and humiliation play for a little while now. While it had a few awkward moments at the beginning (I’m not naturally dominant and it took both of us a while to get comfortable with me saying/doing things that are fairly derogatory), it’s been a lot of fun.

I wasn’t entirely sure what to do, even with my husband giving me some ideas and saying what would be good and what would be off-limits, so I looked around to try to find some ideas.

What I found was a small handful of items that were intriguing for us, mixed in with a great number of things that just weren’t our style. I know there are plenty of people out there who do get into this kind of lifestyle fully and with few limitations, but I don’t know how realistic that is for most people. Personally, I don’t want to hurt my husband to the point that he has permanent marks, make him drink pee, get branded, lick up his own cum, practice bestiality, or do yard work in women’s lingerie in plain sight of the neighbors. These were all suggestions that came up pretty regularly when I was searching for ideas at the start. That, and some form of “rules” for making domination/humiliation a true lifestyle.

We just want something to have fun with for a day or two (minus orgasm control, which necessarily takes longer).

And if those are your thing, great (except for the bestiality thing, which I can’t disapprove of any more than I currently do) More power to you. But for people like me, I put together a different list of items I think are more doable.

Before I get to the list, please be sure to check out Strictly Business: Tormenting Tom, which is my first BDSM/femdom work.

Strictly Business: Tormenting Tom. Previews and additional links can be found here: All My Works

Now, for the list:

THE MUSTS

I guess these aren’t really required, but I almost always employ both of these for my husband and I when we set out to do a little femdom.

1. Make Him Serve You

You can accomplish this in a lot of ways, particularly using the other ideas below. Have a set time or times where you’re the queen and he’s the servant that has to take orders from you and do anything/everything you want. Massages, oral, food and drink preparation – whatever you want.

2. No Orgasms Allowed

For him, obviously. You can (and should!) get off as many times as you can. So for, we’ve set a specific number of days that he is not allowed to orgasm. He is currently at 12, but his birthday is coming up very soon, which is when he is allowed relief. Our previous long was seven days.

You can also change it from “number of days” to “number of your orgasms.” So, he would be required to hold out until you’ve had 10 orgasms, rather than waiting for ten days. Both would work equally well, in my opinion. We’ve also considered using dice as an alternative – rolling two or three dice and using the combined number to determine how long he can’t cum.

OTHER IDEAS

Like I said above, there are many ways you can go about the first two. Here are some other ideas we’ve either used or think are at least worthy of discussion.

1. Massage

Make him massage you for as long as you want. One of my favorite things to do when dominating my husband is to have him massage my body with coconut oil until I fall asleep. It feels great for me, it puts me to sleep, I don’t give him anything in return, and he gets horny because he’s been rubbing all parts of my body.

2. Oral and Rimming Anytime You Want

This one should almost be added to the Musts above. If your partner is anything like my husband, this is quite teasing for him as well. Giving oral and rimming always gets him excited. Obviously, you’re the only one that gets to finish.

3. Blow Him

No, really. Blow him. Just make sure you stop before he cums. Getting him hard and teasing him with the prospect of getting to finish before sending him on his way just short of the finish line can be satisfyingly cruel. By day three of being teased, he’s ready to do anything you want.

4. Sex Anytime You Want

Very similar to above. I like this one a lot because it’s even more challenging for him. The way he struggles to get me off while holding himself back, especially when it’s the 3rd, 4th, 5th+ day in is wonderful. My husband has wonderful orgasm control, but even he struggles after five days of edging. Which brings me to…

5. Edging

I’ve found that one of the best ways to dominate and control my husband is by giving him things that he likes. When I’m controlling his orgasm as part of domination/humiliation play, I’m giving him a lot of attention a lot of days. Getting him so excited he has his sights set on an orgasm, wondering if he really can keep holding out, before forcing him to take the wind out of his sails before revving him up again really establishes a high level of power and control over him. A man that has been brought to the edge of cumming twenty times over the course of a week with no release is a man that will do anything you want.

6. Cock Cage

Make him wear a cock cage that prevents him from getting hard. Granted, we tried that and ended up buying one that really didn’t do the trick for us (see: https://aliciastillsauthor.design.blog/2020/05/14/sex-toy-review/), but there are many others out there that you could try. However, you could use packing tape or duct tape and tape his flaccid dick to his balls. Anything to keep him from getting hard and to make it uncomfortable if his body tried.

7. Sit on His Face

Smother him with your ass and take control of the oral. Getting oral doesn’t always need to mean laying back and waiting for him to do what you hopefully want. Sometimes it means riding his face and using his mouth as a tool to give yourself an orgasm. Sometimes it means cumming while listening to him struggle for breath.

8. Sit on His Face Like He Isn’t There

This has been one of my favorite sexual things to do to him that isn’t actually all that sexual. I’ll strip him naked and lay him on the bed, mount his face and watch an episode or two of TV that I like but he hates, all while pretending he isn’t even there.

9. Flirt With Other Men

You could do this out in public while he watches, but I think it’s easier to use Tinder or some other dating/hookup app. I like to do that while sitting on his face or while he’s massaging my feet. After a while, I’ll let him read some of the messages and tell him what I like about the guys I’m talking to.

10. Treat Him Like an Object

Use him as a foot stool. Or any other inanimate object.

11. Make Him Wear a Butt Plug

Granted, a lot of men like that. But for us, this is in part embracing some role play.

12. Make Him Bartend

Have him make your favorite drink(s) all night while only allowing him water. Or perhaps beer in a can. The more elaborate or cumbersome your drink to make, the better.

13. Make Him Cook

And not just anything. Have him make your favorite food, but only enough for you while he gets something he hates.

Or, you could have a lot of variation here. He could have the same thing as you, but you could put it on a dish on the floor and have him eat it like a dog. Or you could put it right on the floor. Or you could step in his food and have him lick it off your feet. If you’re feeling really bold, you could fart on his food

14. Use a Marshmallow

How is up to you. But if you ask me, you could press a marshmallow as firmly onto your asshole as you can, holding it in place with a thong. Keep it there for as long as you’d like before having him remove it with his mouth and eat it. While he prepares your favorite food, you could hold a marshmallow in your ass for the entirety of the meal prep and dinner, giving him the marshmallow as his “dessert.”

Farting into it is optional.

15. Whip Him or Spank Him

A timeless classic. Use your hand or use an object. We bought a whip (https://aliciastillsauthor.design.blog/2020/05/15/sex-toy-review-part-2/), which I enjoy using much more than I ever expected.

16. Tie Him Up

Another classic. What you do with him from there is up to you, but tie him up and leave him helpless.

17. Have Him Lick Your Feet

Or suck your toes. Frankly, I really hate it. But more importantly, so does he.

18. Pedicure

Speaking of feet, when was the last time you had a pedicure? If you have a captive man intent on serving you and earning his orgasm, perhaps you can sit back and enjoy a pedicure before a nice meal and an orgasm before a massage.

19. Give Him Candy!

From your ass. Let him have as much candy as he wants, as long as he eats it out of your ass. Reese’s Pieces and M&Ms work quite well and can be inserted a little bit, too, until they’re nice and melty.

20. Hotbox Him

Hotbox him while he goes down on you under the covers.

21. No Need to be Clean

Have him rub your feet or sit on his face after you’ve finished exercising, but before you’ve showered. You could have him wash your body when you’re done as well.

22. Make Him Watch

Have sex with another guy or other guys while he watches and does not participate. Again, there are numerous reasons why a lot of guys are really into this (see, e.g., https://aliciastillsauthor.design.blog/2020/06/05/why-do-men-enjoy-cuckolding/), but it is traditionally seen as degrading and there’s an element of role play in all of this.

You can verbally mock him. Or not. I never have because it’s just something that neither of us are into at all.

23. Don’t Let Him Watch

Have sex with another guy or other guys, but don’t let him watch

24. Tell Him How Good Other Guys Are

In either of the above cases, make sure to tell him how good the other guys were. Depending on what you two are into, you could have him go down on you when they’re done. If you clean up as little as possible, you’ll still smell and taste like sex. If you queef while he goes down on you, you can always tell him that you can’t help it – big dicks make you do that.

Actually sleeping with other guys is a big step, so if you’re not ready for it, you could just tell him about great sex you’ve had that didn’t include him. You could even make it up if you wanted.

25. Make Him Bathe and Dress You

Have him draw you a bath and wash your body, lotioning you from head-to-toe when you’re done. If you’re going to have sex with another guy, this is a great one to employ as your own foreplay.

When I was still seeing the first guy I regularly had sex with after starting to date my husband, he bathed me and rubbed body butter on my entire body before dressing me in my favorite lingerie. I have this purple corset combo that I love, but it’s really a pain to put on. When I was lotioned, he methodically dressed me in the corset – which I wore under my regular clothes – before sending me out the door to the other guy’s loft, obviously fully aware that I was going over to have sex with him.

26. Make Him Listen

Tie him and blindfold him before lying next to him and masturbate until you orgasm. Don’t take the blindfold off or restraints off until you’re fully dressed again.

27. Show Him How It’s Done

You could also let him watch you masturbate, but not touch himself. Or, you could have him rim you while you masturbate.

28. Reverse Spoon

I don’t know if there’s a different term for it already, but have him sleep with his face in your ass. My husband has put his pillow down by the back of my legs under the covers and position himself so that while I’m laying on my side, it’s sort of like he’s spooning me, but with his face in my ass. He doesn’t stay there all night, but he has done that for several hours at a time.

29. Dance, Monkey

It’s usually the woman dancing for the man, so flip the tables and make him give you a lap dance.

30. Dance for Him

If your goal is to make him as sexually frustrated as possible, a well-timed sexy striptease can drive him crazy.

31. Post Him Online

Find a forum for femdom or male humiliation and post naked pictures of him online. Obviously, only do it with his consent and most likely with anything personally identifiable (like his face) removed from the picture.

32. Dress Seductively

Do this as much as possible while you’re making him hold out. I have to be more careful about this than I’d like to because we have our kids around most of the time, but short skirts that make for easy upskirting, see-through leggings, lowcut tops, slutty lingerie at nighttime for no reason other than slutty lingerie at nighttime have been my friends. I want him thinking about sex as much as possible.

33. Queef

Most men are really grossed out by queefs, even though they seem entirely harmless to me. Funny sounding, but harmless. Queef around him or on him and watch him squirm.

34. Semi-Public Nudity

Obviously, you have to be careful because you don’t want him to get arrested. And if the neighbors happen to see, you can’t get them to unsee it.

But, we have a semi-private backyard. I’ve tied him to the playset after dark and left him there. It’s very unlikely that any neighbor would have been able to see him, but not impossible.

OTHER NOTES

Unless this is really going to be a lifestyle for you (in which case, most of this is just too effing mild), I would recommend setting times where you’ll play. If you’re withholding his orgasm, a lot of this will extend for a number of days. But set aside specific time frame – e.g., one evening – where you’ll do the “mean” things to him. It can be fun to have my husband serve me and get turned on by me doing what would otherwise be unpleasant things to him, but it would be a lot less fun if we didn’t have set, specific times for that part of our play. I want most of my time spent with my husband to be where we’re treating each other as equals.

Categories
sex Swinging Uncategorized

Why Do Men Enjoy Cuckolding?

*also see: Why Do Women Enjoy Cuckolding?

It’s a question I’ve seen many times, mostly by two groups of people. The first of which is men – particularly straight men – who are trying to understand why they are turned on by the thought of their partner having sex with another man or men. A lot of the time, they seem to be worried that they aren’t “normal,” even though they can’t quite figure out what they think it is that would be wrong with them. Hint: Nothing is.

The second group is women who are shocked by their husband or boyfriend bringing this fantasy up to them. Women who bring up cuckolding or hotwifing (which has a lot of similarities to cuckolding, but generally considers a more equal power dynamic, whereas that isn’t always the case with cuckolding. I could split more hairs here, but won’t.) first to their partner don’t have that same type of surprise. The women who question why men enjoy being cuckolded usually struggle with understanding why a man wants to be (in their view) cheated on, particularly when they don’t see what the men get in return. Almost always, however, it is the man who wants to be cucked that brings it up first.

I think it’s a very complicated and complex question that has many different answers. It’s one of the most common fantasies amongst both men and women and has been steadily gaining in popularity for years, despite being something that flies in the face of what societal norms dictate relationships should look like. Societal norms say that monogamy is the accepted standard. Men need to be “real men” who take “what’s theirs,” not weak and ineffectual men that can’t keep women from falling into the arms of other men. Men are supposed to be intensely jealous if their partner even looks towards another man and women are somehow devalued if they would even think about having more than one sexual partner. They should be ridiculed as a whore, slut, tramp, or whatever other derogatory term for a woman comes to mind. Nevermind that the appeal for women is simple here: women enjoy sex just as much as men. No one questions why men would want to sleep with two women; there’s similarly no real reason to question why women would want to sleep with two men. 

Honestly, I could explore the question of why men want to be cuckolded and the many different avenues it goes down for hours and hours. I won’t, because this is just a blog post. At least, I won’t go on about this for hours and hours in this singular blog post. I think the topic is fascinating and I’m sure I’ll revisit it many more times.

I’ll pull myself back on point before I start taking myself off on other tangents. Below is a completely non-exhaustive list of reasons why some men want to be cuckolded. Although first, please be sure to check out some of my works about hotwifing and cuckolding:

LIVE SHOW

Yes, men like porn. Yes, yours too. No, your husband/boyfriend doesn’t really think that strippers are gross. He might think that the environment that exists at a strip club is gross, but he doesn’t seriously think that being surrounded by attractive women that get completely naked for his enjoyment (and money, of course) is gross.

Your partner also really enjoys seeing you naked. If he doesn’t, there are other problems in the relationship. Being cuckolded gives a man the opportunity to not only witness live porn, but to see the partner he loves be that fantasy pornstar. For a lot of men this is a live show that’s better than any scene on a computer screen or any 20-year-old spinning around on a pole.

HEARING ABOUT IT

Any woman who has had a guy ask her to tell him about previous sex while they were having sex may relate here.

Some men may not want to watch you with other men, at least not every time. Some would rather get off on hearing about the sexual encounter later. If they’re hearing you describe it, rather than watching everything unfold, they’re able to craft a picture of what happened in their mind. For some, this can be better than watching because the scene and imagery they create plays out more perfectly than reality. I, for one, have had some pretty disappointing sex without my husband present, but it didn’t diminish things for him much, if at all. He was still able to create an image of me and the other guys romping through the bedroom like a couple of sexual Adonis’.

Still others just want to know that their partner had sex with another guy, but don’t want all the details. The suspense of not knowing exactly what happened enhances things for them and still allows them to create the entire image. I had sex with a guy once and only showed my husband that there was a used condom in the trash. The only other thing I said about it was that I had fun night. It drove him wild!

VIEW YOUR PARTNER AS A SEXUAL OBJECT

I’ve brought this one up before and the initial reaction from a lot of people is one of confusion. However, I think this is a very real reason for a lot of men to want to be cucked, particularly as the relationship grows and gets older. It certainly applies to my husband.

At the beginning, a lot of relationships are about that spark and sexual chemistry. You’re in the honeymoon phase and sex is right at the forefront of nearly everything you do together. Even when you’re out and about doing purely non-sexual things, at the back of both of your minds is the desire to get naked together again.

And that starts to fade over time. You don’t love each other any less, but your roles within each other’s lives expand. She becomes someone you bring to family events. You discuss finances and other long-term plans. She becomes a wife and a mother, a career-focused woman, or any other number of things that intelligent and highly complex people are apt to do. And her existence as a sexual person is still there, but it’s taken a less prominent role.

But in cuckolding, you’re reconnecting to that purely carnal part of both of you and you get to see her in a light that’s nothing but sexual. All of the outside noise and distractions can take a back seat, because while you cuckold, everything is about pleasure. With everything else she is, while watching her orgasm on top of another guy, she is only a sexual person.

Not that you have to wait a long time and have your relationship develop over the course of years for this to apply. Even when you’re in a pretty new relationship, cuckolding places her in a position of being seen in purely sexual terms, which, for a lot of people, is incredibly exciting in any context. 

THE THRILL OF THE TABOO

As noted above, societal norms and expectations demand that people act in a certain way. But for a lot of people, it’s a lot of fun to break those norms. They don’t want to feel constrained by these expectations and feel excited by doing something they “aren’t supposed to do.”

It can be a little exciting to do something that is supposed to be wrong and dirty. At least this kind of wrong and dirty is done with the full knowledge and approval of your partner, yet still wrong and dirty enough that you probably won’t tell your neighbors that you fucked your bull while your husband waited patiently for his turn.

ROLE REVERSAL

Very closely related to the above, the role reversal can be a lot of fun. Men are supposed to be the ones that desire multiple sexual partners, not women. It’s sort of like the male CEO of a company wanting to have a dominatrix control him all evening. The quiet, polite librarian that wants to whip her partner before having loud, headboard-banging sex.

This embrace of female empowerment and male submission can be exciting for a lot of men.

COMPERSION

Compersion is a real thing and occurs where someone experiences happiness from witnessing someone else’s enjoyment of something. More specifically, it’s a type of vicarious pleasure experienced from watching your partner have good sex with someone else. As it is put here:

“Loving someone essentially involves a desire for the beloved’s happiness. Too often, we add a rider, But only provided that I am the one to cause it!

That author goes on to point out that this can be more of an indicator of possessiveness than love.

Essentially, your partner may just enjoy seeing you cum so much that seeing you cum from someone else has a high level of appeal.

FEMALE SEXUAL FULFILLMENT

Related to compersion, many women have a significantly higher sexual capacity than their partners. They can have many, many more orgasms and don’t have nearly as lengthy refractory periods. For many, sex with a single man is never long enough and they finish an encounter wanting more.

Men who have that sort of partner may want to see her needs get fulfilled in ways that they can’t manage on their own. They also may be living vicariously through their partner and experiencing this higher level of sexual capacity that they can’t experience. I love my husband and he’s great in bed, but he couldn’t really please three women by himself at once. But he can live vicariously through me and experience that kind of sex when I’m with three guys at once.

JEALOUSY AS AN APHRODISIAC

While not universal, jealousy can be an especially potent aphrodisiac. I remember the first time I had a threesome with a guy I was dating, the first time I had sex while a boyfriend just watched, and the first threesome I had with my husband. After each one, I asked them: “Doesn’t that make you jealous?”

I couldn’t believe that seeing me with another guy didn’t make them feel like they were going to go crazy with jealousy. Do you know what all of them told me? “Yes.”

Yes, it did make them jealous. But no, it didn’t make them feel like they were going to go crazy with jealousy. At least not in a bad way. They liked feeling jealous. My husband has always put it as though jealousy from seeing me with other guys is always there, at least a little bit. But rather than making him angry and feeling like he wants to punch something, he says mixing jealousy with his horniness is like pouring gasoline on fire. It just makes him hornier and want me even more.

This article isn’t specifically about swinging or cuckolding, but it revolves around how jealousy within a relationship is a good thing. Seeing your partner with other people can make people “remember: Oh, yeah. Other people think my partner is hot. I think my partner is hot, too. I’d better start showing it.” One of the experts interviewed there noted that jealousy can cause someone to pay much more attention to their own partner.

Many people treat jealousy as being a bad thing, when really, it’s only certain reactions to jealousy that are bad. Others interviewed in the above article discussed the same concept (although again, not actual cuckolding). “[O]f course you want [my partner]. But guess what, [she’s] mine.” Cuckolding is just taking this another step. Of course you want her, sexually. But guess what, after I watch her get what we want from you, she’s still mine.

SHARING AS A SOURCE OF PRIDE

Some men want to share their partner because they’re proud to have her. Some men share pictures of their wives and girlfriends online or to their friends because they want people to see how hot she is and be envious of him. Some men want their partner to dress revealing when they go out so others can see what they don’t have.

Cuckolding takes this a little bit further. And it isn’t a case of the man being cheated on, because he isn’t. And it isn’t a matter of being too weak or too inadequate to take care of her needs (even if those things are said because of a desire to be humiliated). Rather, the cuckold is completely in control because he has the power to share “his” woman.

BICURIOUS EXPLORATION

I know there are women who really don’t want this to be the case, even if I don’t think it should matter, but it’s also possible that the guy is exploring some bisexual tendencies or curiosity. For some guys, if they want to explore bicuriosity, fooling around with another guy may be too intimidating, but being around a naked man while he’s having sex with a woman or going down on a woman seconds after another man has been inside of her is not.

HUMILIATION

Also, the guy just might want to explore the “M” in BDSM. Some people are turned on by masochism, which would include humiliation. Creating a scene, even if entirely contrived, wherein the cuck is playing the role of the guy too pathetic to fuck his woman right and is forced to watch a bigger, better, stronger man give her what she needs can be all the humiliation he’s looking for. Playing off the societal norms and expectations above, little more is more degrading than being forced to watch your partner please and be pleased by other men.

CONCLUSION

I know there are more reasons than what’s listed above and the nuances to every situation and reason can go on and on. And obviously, every person/couple that wants to explore cuckolding has their own reasons, which can be very personal to them. But with that said, in my experience, the above list provide some of the most common reasons for guys to enjoy being cucked.

Personally, I love that cuckolding and hotwifing are becoming more and more common, so whatever your reasons are for wanting to try it, I hope you talk it through with your partner and are able to make it a reality.

Categories
General sex

Sex Toy Review, Part 3: Restraints

Restrained to the Bed.

Or anywhere else you choose for that matter.

The actual restraints we purchased were from Adam & Eve, but it is now out-of-stock and not showing on their website currently. But it was very similar to this: https://www.amazon.com/Trinity-Vibes-AB691-Bedroom-Restraint/dp/B0073JVY9C (note: I am not an Amazon affiliate and make no money from posting links). We debated for a while about what kind of restraints to go with and were considering something like this and a hogtie option. We went with this one, thinking that it would be more comfortable over longer stretches than a system that keeps one of us hogtied.

I could still go either way, but overall, I like the restraint system. The cuffs can be made to be pretty tight around either the ankles or wrists, but they’re soft enough to not chafe or get uncomfortable. I like that either one of us can be stuck there, but not in a way that hurts.

Some of the reviews said that you needed a headboard and a footboard in order to make these work since you needed something to attach the restraints to. So we were a little bit worried about that when we ordered since we only have a headboard. However, that didn’t apply and we were able to attach these just fine. The restraints were long enough to easily reach the headboard, as well as go all the way under the mattress and box spring to tie to the legs on the bedframe. We’ve used them a few times just to experiment with what we prefer, and they are long enough to remove the slack and pull the arms and legs away from the body so the person getting tied up can’t move and flail much. We can also leave enough space so they can bring the arms/legs closer to the body.

My husband prefers to have me spread more, When he gave me more freedom and tickled me, I was still able to flail around enough to give him some problems.

It’s a little annoying to have to get down and tie these, due in part to having to move two side tables. If you don’t have to worry about kids or others going into your bedroom and seeing the restraints on your bed, I guess it isn’t an issue, but we need to take them down every time we use them. BUT, annoying or not, I don’t really see how it could be changed. If it was just a strap that could have its length altered once connected/tied, I would be concerned that the length wouldn’t vary by as much as we’d like and I’d worry that it would slip. So it’s a minimal issue.

It also worked great when I cuffed my husband to the playset in our backyard, which I described in my last post. The length of the straps let me string him up like a sexy, naked marionette puppet, leaving his arms slightly elevated as the rest of his body hung below until I brought him back to life 20 minutes later with the whip and my mouth.

Overall, I rate this 5 of 5 due to the versatility in placement and ability to lengthen or shorten the straps as desired. The comfort level is also much higher than anything we had used in the past. It also came with a blindfold, which we do not care about it. Which is good because it doesn’t stay on very securely, even when we put it on just because it was in the box.

Categories
General sex

Sex Toy Review Part 2: Whip

Chains and Whips Excite Me

Well. Sort of. It was something to try, anyway. We went with the Scarlet Couture Beat Me Please whip, which we got through Adam and Eve.

I hadn’t ever seriously considered purchasing a whip like this, but with my husband and I dabbling a little bit in me dominating him as part of me withholding his orgasm, it seemed like a good purchase. Prior to getting the whip, I had only jokingly spanked him a handful (no pun intended) of times. Using my hand was okay, but I had always preferred to have an item to do the spanking. I’ve used a belt two or three times, but the belts were kind of stiff and didn’t leave for much control. More than anything, the belts felt awkward in my hand and I had a difficult time knowing exactly how hard I was hitting him.

This was much different. It wasn’t the most hardcore whip we could have chosen as others were described as providing a much larger “bite,” but it also wasn’t the weakest. The description was that it provided a good sound and just enough of a smack so your partner would feel it.

We found that was pretty accurate. It feels good in my hand and I think it’s a lot of fun just to crack the whip, both for the feeling and to hear the sound. It’s easy to know how hard I’m whipping my husband, and, I can hit him fairly hard without it providing too much of a sting.

We aren’t big into pain by any means, but delivering a whip with this is a lot of fun for me and makes my husband get a little hard. The last time we used it was when we wrapped up eight days of me withholding his orgasm. I tied him to the playset in our backyard in the nude at nighttime (our yard is private enough to not have to worry about neighbors when it’s dark) and left him there for twenty minutes. When I came back, I whipped him with this toy before getting on my knees and giving him a blowjob while he was still restrained.

Overall, 5 of 5 stars, primarily because it fit what we were looking for pretty perfectly. It’s comfortable, feels good in the hand, makes a great sound, and delivers just a little bit of pain. People who can’t handle any sting wouldn’t like it and people who want something that will leave a solid mark the next day may be looking for something more punishing, but this is right at our level.

Categories
General sex

Sex Toy Review: The Cock Cage

If you’re like my husband and I, you’ve been going a little stir-crazy with extended stay-at-home orders. Working from home, zoom meetings, home schooling, no babysitters, no date nights outside the house, and limited interactions with anyone outside your immediate family is making you feel antsy and a little on edge. A brief, hurried trip through the grocery store is something to look forward to because at least it’s something different.

To help keep things interesting, my husband and I have gotten a few more sex toys to experiment with. We have to have something out of the ordinary to keep us sane…

One of the new activities we’ve been playing around with since March is orgasm control. Three times now, I’ve spent a week or more teasing my husband, bringing him close to the edge before denying him his orgasm. He hasn’t denied me mine and we had several nights where all he did was serve me. So I can’t complain about this new way to play and he’s already looking forward to the next time we give this a go.

To that end, we bought a cock cage, exactly like the one pictured above. The Master Series Detained Soft Body Chastity Cage. We thought it would be a fun little item to incorporate into this type of play and help me tease him and deny him all at once. We debated about which type to get and settled on the soft body one. A metal one that had a literal lock just seemed too hardcore for us right away.

Our review? Zero stars. Sure, he said it was comfortable enough to wear for long periods of time, but that was about the only positive thing to say about it. It’s hard to put on. You definitely need lube in order for it to slide on. And its not all that easy to wrap around the balls to hold it in place. In fact, once around the balls, the design of it had it sliding downwards, which didn’t matter for comfort, but it did mean that the inch or two of his shaft closest to his body wasn’t in the cage. It was like the designers forgot that taints exist.

But what was really disappointing was that it didn’t do anything to restrict his boner. When he got hard, it just stretched out the body of the cage. He said that it didn’t even make it uncomfortable. I even started to blow him to see if that would make it uncomfortable, but he said it was just like he was wearing an extra-thick condom. Which obviously dulled the sensation, but still felt kind of good.

Granted, it had been a week since he came last, though. I had kept him hard for hours and hours since his last orgasm. Anything would have felt at least kind of good.

Anyway, this was far-and-away our least successful attempt at something new and a complete waste of money. Maybe we would have hated a harder cage, too, but this soft one is a complete waste of money. I have no idea who would have gotten anything out of it.