I’ll do my best to update this page when I put out new publications. **And as a side note, I’ve been having ongoing issues with B&N displaying all book information correctly lately. On His Orders switches between the first and second in the series and the paperback price doesn’t always match what I’ve input (B&N makes it more expensive than what I’ve listed).
Hooky: One Act of Defiance Can Set Her Free is available on Amazon in e-book and paperback format, as well as in paperback and e-book on Barnes & Noble. For reasons unknown to me, the price listed on Barnes & Noble’s website doesn’t match what I’ve set it at, so you’d be better off picking it up at Amazon. I’m trying to resolve with B&N.
Strictly Business: Tormenting Tom is available on in e-book and paperback formats on Amazon and Barnes & Noble, as well as in e-book format at Smashwords.
It is also available in e-book format on Apple, Kobo, and Scribd. **Update** Strictly Business is now only available in e-book format on Amazon and is enrolled in the KDP Select Program. I may add it back to other retailers at a later point, but for now, it is exclusive to Amazon.
Which brings up another good question: If you’re a woman and you want to be a hotwife, how can you bring that up to your husband or boyfriend? Can it even be done successfully?
Just because it doesn’t seem to happen successfully very often, that doesn’t mean that I think it can’t be done successfully. I just think that it presents new difficulties. Namely, you have to be able to do it in a way that doesn’t make your partner feel threatened. After all, it’s only natural for a man to worry he is inadequate once his partner brings up the idea of a relationship that is only open on her side.
I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on the matter, but I think I have enough experience to have a few decent ideas. Let me know your thoughts, or, if you’re a woman, how you’ve had success in the past.
Take It Slow
I think the biggest thing to avoid doing is to just sit your husband down and bluntly come right out and say that you want to be a hotwife. I know, I know – open and honest communication is key, especially with something like this. However, I think you run the risk of really putting your partner off if you approach it like that. You’ll have a harder time with helping him realize that he wants this too if he feels attacked and gets defensive. Bring it along slowly and let him warm up to the idea at his own pace. Perhaps he’ll be ready to jump right into it. Or perhaps he’ll need some time for the idea to grow on him.
I want to be clear that you certainly don’t want to mislead him at all, and you certainly don’t want to approach this in a way that manipulates him in any way. This is really about being honest, while also remaining tactful and giving him the time he needs to get over any socializations against wifesharing he might already have. Some men are huge babies about this sort of thing and will throw a tantrum at the idea. If this isn’t something that you absolutely need to have in your relationship, but is more something you would like to try, approaching this slowly might help avoid some ugliness if he’s the type that will never be open to MFM or hotwifing.
Work Hotwifing/Cuckolding Into Conversation
So how do you slow play something like this? I think that if you can start a dialogue of some sort about the topic without directly addressing that this is something you want to be doing, it can get him thinking about the topic on his own. Make a joke or two about MFM threesomes. It’s lighthearted, nonthreatening, and it can soften him up to the whole idea.
Watch MFM or Wifesharing Porn
So what if you can’t really naturally bring the topic up or make a joke to get the the subject out there? One obvious way would be to watch porn together. Make sure it isn’t the ridiculous, over-the-top kind of porn where the husband is being ridiculed or degraded in ways that only porn does, but something that reflects the more welcoming kind of thing you would more realistically want to be doing.
Read MFM/Wifesharing Erotica
And don’t try to hide it. Again, it can make him start thinking about the idea without it feeling pushed onto him or threatening him. It lets him get comfortable with the possibility at his own pace, and it lets him see that the idea is a turn on for you.
Know Why You Want to be a Hotwife
I think this one is very important. You don’t need to come at him with a bullet point list of the reasons why you want to be a hotwife. Actually, I think that would be weird and off-putting.
However, you should know what about the practice appeals to you and you should be able to explain it to him. Hopefully none of the reasons are that it’s because you find him to be sexually incompetent. If you do think he’s bad in bed, that’s probably a different conversation the two of you should be having. I would keep this one focused on all of the reasons why being a hotwife is appealing that don’t involve getting better sex (at until/unless you know that’s a turn on for him).
And there are plenty. If nothing else, I think that all men understand the appeal of a threesome. No one questions that literally all straight men would have sex with two women at once. It’s tough for men to seriously argue that they don’t understand how the inverse wouldn’t apply for women as well. You should also know what exactly you’re interested in doing since there are multiple ways to be a hotwife.
Know What Benefits He Would Get From It
Many men find there are many benefits to being a cuckold (or stag, if you prefer). He can probably figure out most of the benefits himself, especially since they can vary from person to person. But it would be good for you to know what you think he would enjoy about the situation by the time the conversation comes up.
And don’t apologize for having completely normal sexual desires if it comes to that. There’s nothing wrong with a woman wanting to have sex with more than one man and you should be able to acknowledge that fact without feeling like you should be ashamed. No one is going to make a man feel ashamed because he thinks that an FMF threesome is sexy, so why should a woman be ashamed at thinking an MFM threesome is sexy?
Make Sure He Knows He is Still Your Number One
If you’re trying to do this as a way to fill a void in your relationship or you feel there are other big problems that this would be helping you cover up, you probably aren’t going to be set up to succeed as a hotwife. Assuming your relationship is going well, I would say that you should also make sure that he knows that nothing that would happen would make him replaceable. As it is put here:
You want to be able to provide honest reassurance that he is still your number one and that you won’t do anything that makes him uncomfortable. It would be best if you also were willing to give your word that he can withdraw his agreement at any time.
And that’s it! Hopefully some combination of the above will work for you, because I’m always in support of more people engaging in MFM threesomes. Of course, if you prefer to just jump right in flatly tell your partner that you want to have sex with other men, be my guest. I think you’re not likely to have that go well, but I could certainly be wrong.
So you want to swing, but you aren’t sure if your partner feels the same. It can be an uncomfortable topic to bring up with your partner the first time. Something to induce the nerves, at least.
Even if you’re pretty sure that your partner has the same interests as you, putting it out there can make you question just how sure you are that you’re right. And if you have no idea? It’s enough to make you squirm. Even if a desire to swing is extremely common, no one wants to make their partner worry that you think they’re inadequate.
And therein lies one of the most common questions. Who is the first one to bring up hotwifing or cuckolding, or just swinging in general? The man or the woman? I’m focusing on M/F couples, predominantly straight here. The dynamics can change quite a bit with same sex couples.
In my experience, it’s the man that brings up a hotwife or cuckold fantasy first, and I know that I’m not alone on that. In fact, I had to really dig to find examples of women online who were the first to bring the subject up, at least successfully.
There could be many reasons for that, but really, I think most men feel threatened by that kind of request from the woman they’re seeing, even if it is a turn on for them. It can feel emasculating and threatening, but not in the good, exciting way. After all, if a man wants a hotwife because he gets off on the degradation aspect, it’s a contrived degradation. It’s just all a part of role play that’s part of being in what’s seen as a safe and secure relationship.
And it’s hard to blame them for that, really. It’s only natural to feel like a woman would only be asking for permission to screw other men because she sees her partner as inadequate. That’s likely not the case, but it’s a completely normal thought.
No, almost all of the articles and accounts I’ve seen involve the man broaching the topic first. At least when it’s been successful. And it’s usually taken a little bit of persuasion before the woman comes around.
I don’t think I’ve ever met a couple where the woman is a hotwife where she was the one to bring it up, either. I did know a woman in college who brought it up to her boyfriend. It didn’t go well, even though he was into it. He thought she was just cheating and eyeing a threesome with a guy she was seeing on the side and didn’t take to her suggestion well.
It didn’t help that he was right, even if his being right didn’t affect his initial reaction.
Does anyone have a different experience where the woman brought it up first with success?
It just seems that there is so much misunderstanding about wifesharing, hotwifing, cuckolding, etc., that adding in extra insecurities when the woman brings it up first makes it that much more difficult.
As always, please check out my hotwifing/cuckolding works. The On His Orders series is racy; Hooky is on the tamer side. Enjoy!
For me, I think I will always prefer to have a real book in my hands. It just feels better to have a real book that I can hold, complete with pages that make a slight rustling sound as I physically flip the page like some old-timer still oblivious to the newfangled technology.
Besides, I spend so much time in front of screens as it is, it’s nice to get a break.
But I have to admit, since starting to publish my own books as e-books, they’ve grown on me. I’m getting used to reading e-books, even if it isn’t my first choice. And it’s nice that you have more options so readily available, many of which are free and all of which are cheaper than a print book.
How do others feel? I’m reading more books in e-format than I ever thought I would now, but I think if I were rich, I’d just burn the extra money on physical copies.
Regardless of your preference, all of my works are available in either paperback or e-book formats.
Otherwise, my stories about one woman taking more than one man at a time may be more your speed.
Serious question, but do any women really like them? I suppose I mean, do large numbers of women enjoy when a man slathers her face in baby gravy? Obviously, some women will enjoy them – there is a fetish for pretty much anything.
But am I alone in thinking they aren’t all that great? I wrote about my feelings on the act in an earlier post. On my best day, I’m neutral about it. Usually, they feel kind of gross. If my husband were really into them, I would do it, but I prefer not to.
Is the idea only in people’s mind due to porn? As far as porn goes, it makes perfect sense to me that facials are the norm. Porn is obviously a visual medium and facials are the visual embodiment of the climax (or several, if you have a gangbang). The women can fake orgasms for the entire scene, but there’s not really a visual aspect, aside from exaggerated facial expressions until the man blows his load. There are other options, but I don’t think it’s hard to see why facials are just the most popular and common finisher.
But what about in real life? Or with erotica? When I read about the act, I think about how a bukkake would be fun to try, but for the most part, I’m thinking about how my past facials have been sorta gross, messy, and how I was just trying to keep it out of my eyes and hair.
My husband is on the same page as me. He likes them fine, but it doesn’t feel any better for him and since I’m not super into them, he says it makes him prefer to finish some other way.
Anyway, I just wonder if facials would even be a thing people tried if it weren’t for porn.
But if you want a story about a Domme that would never take a facial, be sure to check out Strictly Business: Tormenting Tom.
Otherwise, my stories about one woman taking more than one man at a time may be more your speed.
This is a little off topic in comparison to my normal posts, but it’s been all over the news, so I wanted to write a post about it.
I’m sure you’ve at least heard about the Britney Spears documentary on Hulu, Framing Britney Spears, if not watched it by now. Much of the discussion around it deals with Justin Timberlake and how many people feel like he is at least partially at fault for her current state. He mistreated her, owes her an apology, and is, in general, a misogynistic prick.
Let me just say, I’m underwhelmed by these attacks on Justin Timberlake. Personally, I don’t care for him at all. But let’s lay blame where blame belongs, and there’s plenty to go around. For my part, I’m blown away by that Diane Sawyer interview.
But Justin Timberlake? Let’s put things into perspective. They broke up just after his 21st birthday. And not to excuse immaturity due to young age, but 21 year olds aren’t exactly known for being models of maturity.
And what exactly did he do? Say he had sex with Britney Spears? Not lecture people for asking him if he had sex with her in somewhat crude terms? Okay.
And then he made a couple of songs about her cheating on him. Again, and okay? He’s a musician. Musicians write about life experiences a lot of the times. He’s hardly the only one to do so, and the songs aren’t crass or abusive towards her. They were nothing special.
Plus, take into account that she did apparently cheat on him, which makes it not surprising that he was hurt and angry. Was it the most mature thing to do? Of course not, but this is hardly unique. Taylor Swift makes songs about her former boyfriends and people celebrate her. Beyoncé makes a song about her husband cheating and people celebrate her braveness. I really don’t see how this is different.
I can’t imagine being famous, especially when you’re still in your twenties. All of us have done so many immature things that we wish we could take back from that time of our lives, but we have the privilege of not having those mistakes recorded forever. I’m sure, like the rest of us, there are aspects of how he acted when he was in his early and mid twenties that he wishes he could take back. Even if it would have been saying “hey, please speak about my ex, who cheated on me and who I am not on good terms with, more respectfully.”
And then throwing in Janet Jackson again? It was apparently a stunt planned in part by Janet Jackson, but they were just supposed to end up with her bra exposed. Whether that’s true or not I know is debated. She did have a sparkly nipple pasty on underneath after all, which, to me, seems to point to that she planned for the boob to be out.
And whether there was a wardrobe malfunction or whether they got the intended result, I just don’t get why people had to be upset about it. Obviously, people made it a big deal, but what a lot to do about nothing.
For Timberlake’s part, he’s supposedly the bad guy for going along with a plan presented to him by others, including Jackson, who he had worked with before and respected? I just don’t see it. I actually think it’s pretty diminutive of women to say that Timberlake was responsible for Jackson in that instance. It isn’t really his role to say she can’t or shouldn’t have part of her costume removed to expose her bra. He could say he’s uncomfortable participating if he was. But it’s still her body and her right.
If the costume just ripped more than it was supposed to, okay, and that sucks. He’s definitely partially to blame for that and should apologize. He did apologize, even if it was one of those really poor “sorry if you were offended” apologies.
I really only see him as being truly a giant dick if (1) his interviews about Spears were actually calculated and intended to demean her person, knowing she was in a fragile mental state, following up with songs intended to break her, and (2) he intentionally ripped Jackson’s costume more than anyone else intended, including Jackson. In that case, he would be an unrepentant psychopath who gets off on mental torture who also is comfortable with sexually assaulting a woman in national TV.
And I just don’t see that. I see someone who was 21 and immature acting like an immature 21 year old, and a 23 year old caught in (at worst) a wardrobe malfunction that people overreacted about.
Again, not a Timberlake fan, but cancel culture coming after him for this seems to be a misdirection of anger.
If you’re interested, please head over to BookSprout to pick up a free copy of Strictly Business: Tormenting Tom. The copy is free! All I ask is that if you enjoyed it, please leave a review at your favorite retailer (or multiple). Amazon is preferable, but you can choose another if you would like.
I’m still learning the ropes for a lot of the self-publishing game. One of my challenges has been figuring out how to get reviews on the books I’ve written and published. I tried BookSprout with On His Orders: Faithfully Unfaithful and at least got a few reviews.
I came across this article about the show Bridgerton on Netflix and thought it was an interesting perspective.
The first thing I noticed was actually that the job of “Intimacy Director” is a real thing. I don’t know what you have to do to obtain that job, but I want in. I can absolutely direct more realistic scenarios in the bedroom. First of all, sex doesn’t just end in a loud yell from both people before they immediately roll over, sweaty and out of breath. And guys aren’t erect immediately upon the initiation of sex. Fifteen seconds after the wang makes an appearance and he’s still soft? That doesn’t mean sex is impossible.
But anyway, that was a tangent.
I haven’t seen the show, but I’ll have to check it out. The point of the above article was how the female masturbation scene was done in a realistic way, unlike how tv/movies have historically portrayed it. Namely, the woman wasn’t stripping completely naked and putting on a show for the enjoyment of the male viewers.
Which certainly is something different. Plus, the sex scenes were viewed through the lens of a woman. The scenes weren’t shot with a focus on displaying the female form, but on highlighting the female experience.
I have to admit, the explanation of how the portrayal of sex was unique wasn’t what I was expecting, but I found it informative all the same. I had been expecting an article about the acceptance of portrayals of women enjoying, or at least experimenting with, sex.
And (again, without seeing the show yet) it sounds like that could have been discussed as well. The article references American Pie, and even before I read past the headline, I was already thinking about American Pie and But I’m a Cheerleader. Both films came out in 1999, and while American Pie was far raunchier and had sex scenes and scenes of male masturbation, But I’m a Cheerleader was the one that nearly received an NC-17 rating.
It’s offense? There was a reference to a woman receiving oral sex and there was a scene where a fully-clothed woman masturbates.
Compare that to images of Jason Biggs‘ bare ass as he fucks a pie and get back to me on the rationale on that one.
Anyway, I’ll have to check out Bridgerton. If nothing else, I always enjoy seeing the evolution of the portrayals of sexuality. At least topical, fully-clothed masturbation now passes muster.
Apparently hackers took control of a cock cage that can be controlled by a partner via the internet and tried to extort money in exchange for penile freedom.
I’m all for sexual exploration and femdom of a willing partner, but this is a good reminder to be careful. I would never trust something like this in the first place, and I certainly won’t now. I can’t imagine having a stranger control a chastity device.
Yeesh. Some things really don’t need to be online.
But if cock cages, submissive men, and dominant women turn you on, please be sure to check out Strictly Business: Tormenting Tom, which is my first BDSM/femdom work.
Specifically, if you have a threesome with two women and a man (FMF), are you now obligated to have a threesome with two men and a woman (MFM)?
To me, the answer is an obvious “no,” but I’ve seen quite a few people and sites say otherwise. In order to be “equal,” you have to do both kinds of threesomes “for” your partner. I can’t find it anymore, but I remember hearing Channing Tatum talk about it years ago, saying something along the lines of, “well, yeah, a threesome with two women is great, but remember, you have to give her a threesome with two guys afterwards, so be ready for that.”
I think that view is absolutely bonkers. No wonder so many people have failed threesome attempts. If this is how you understand the dynamics of group sex to be, you really aren’t cut out for it, in my opinion. There are just so many problems with viewing sex through that kind of prism that it can be difficult to even begin addressing how wrong it is. I’ll take a crack at it, though.
First, threesomes and any other kind of swinging as a couple has to be something that both partners want to do. If one partner really doesn’t want to add a third person – even if I think they should be open to trying it out to see how fun it can be – they shouldn’t. And their partner should respect that. It doesn’t mean they can’t explore it again in the future, but you can’t get involved if one person isn’t interested.
Second, and related, is that you aren’t having a threesome “for” your partner. Your having a threesome with your partner as part of a mutual desire to have one. If a couple has an FMF threesome, it should be because both the man and the woman wanted to add another woman to the mix. Neither one should be able to say sometime in the future that their partner owes them an MFM because they did FMF “for” the other. No, you did FMF because you both wanted to. Neither of them gets to say that they had a threesome for the other because they both wanted it. Even if one of them had a greater interest in FMF than the other. And, of course, the inverse is true – just interchange FMF for MFM.
Third, if the above isn’t the case and one person was only having a threesome in order to use that as leverage over the other, that’s really shitty. I mean, really, really shitty. That’s sexual coercion and isn’t fair to your partner. If my husband had only been having MFMs with me in order to make me feel obligated to give him an FMF, I would have felt entirely violated, even if I did want to have an FMF with him.
Fourth, viewing sexual relationships and bringing extra partners into bed with you as being so tit-for-tat is an extremely and overly simplistic way to view equality. If you have FMF you have to have MFM, or vice versa, is a child-like way to think about equality in the complex relationships that adults have. It just doesn’t compare to “Well, Jane had a turn with Toy A, so now John gets a turn with Toy A” like we tell our toddlers when they argue.
But, if you want to check out some of my works where the couples are happily having threesomes and foursomes, please check out the below: