Categories
sex Swinging

How Can a Woman Bring Up Hotwifing or Cuckolding Successfully?

In my last post, I wrote about how men are almost always the ones to bring up hotwifing and cuckolding desires to their partner. It would be great if it didn’t seem like that was always the case, but we don’t seem to be there yet.

Which brings up another good question: If you’re a woman and you want to be a hotwife, how can you bring that up to your husband or boyfriend? Can it even be done successfully?

Just because it doesn’t seem to happen successfully very often, that doesn’t mean that I think it can’t be done successfully. I just think that it presents new difficulties. Namely, you have to be able to do it in a way that doesn’t make your partner feel threatened. After all, it’s only natural for a man to worry he is inadequate once his partner brings up the idea of a relationship that is only open on her side.

I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on the matter, but I think I have enough experience to have a few decent ideas. Let me know your thoughts, or, if you’re a woman, how you’ve had success in the past.

Take It Slow

I think the biggest thing to avoid doing is to just sit your husband down and bluntly come right out and say that you want to be a hotwife. I know, I know – open and honest communication is key, especially with something like this. However, I think you run the risk of really putting your partner off if you approach it like that. You’ll have a harder time with helping him realize that he wants this too if he feels attacked and gets defensive. Bring it along slowly and let him warm up to the idea at his own pace. Perhaps he’ll be ready to jump right into it. Or perhaps he’ll need some time for the idea to grow on him.

I want to be clear that you certainly don’t want to mislead him at all, and you certainly don’t want to approach this in a way that manipulates him in any way. This is really about being honest, while also remaining tactful and giving him the time he needs to get over any socializations against wifesharing he might already have. Some men are huge babies about this sort of thing and will throw a tantrum at the idea. If this isn’t something that you absolutely need to have in your relationship, but is more something you would like to try, approaching this slowly might help avoid some ugliness if he’s the type that will never be open to MFM or hotwifing.

Work Hotwifing/Cuckolding Into Conversation

So how do you slow play something like this? I think that if you can start a dialogue of some sort about the topic without directly addressing that this is something you want to be doing, it can get him thinking about the topic on his own. Make a joke or two about MFM threesomes. It’s lighthearted, nonthreatening, and it can soften him up to the whole idea.

Watch MFM or Wifesharing Porn

So what if you can’t really naturally bring the topic up or make a joke to get the the subject out there? One obvious way would be to watch porn together. Make sure it isn’t the ridiculous, over-the-top kind of porn where the husband is being ridiculed or degraded in ways that only porn does, but something that reflects the more welcoming kind of thing you would more realistically want to be doing.

Read MFM/Wifesharing Erotica

Like mine:

And don’t try to hide it. Again, it can make him start thinking about the idea without it feeling pushed onto him or threatening him. It lets him get comfortable with the possibility at his own pace, and it lets him see that the idea is a turn on for you.

Know Why You Want to be a Hotwife

I think this one is very important. You don’t need to come at him with a bullet point list of the reasons why you want to be a hotwife. Actually, I think that would be weird and off-putting.

However, you should know what about the practice appeals to you and you should be able to explain it to him. Hopefully none of the reasons are that it’s because you find him to be sexually incompetent. If you do think he’s bad in bed, that’s probably a different conversation the two of you should be having. I would keep this one focused on all of the reasons why being a hotwife is appealing that don’t involve getting better sex (at until/unless you know that’s a turn on for him).

And there are plenty. If nothing else, I think that all men understand the appeal of a threesome. No one questions that literally all straight men would have sex with two women at once. It’s tough for men to seriously argue that they don’t understand how the inverse wouldn’t apply for women as well. You should also know what exactly you’re interested in doing since there are multiple ways to be a hotwife.

Know What Benefits He Would Get From It

Many men find there are many benefits to being a cuckold (or stag, if you prefer). He can probably figure out most of the benefits himself, especially since they can vary from person to person. But it would be good for you to know what you think he would enjoy about the situation by the time the conversation comes up.

Be Confident

And don’t apologize for having completely normal sexual desires if it comes to that. There’s nothing wrong with a woman wanting to have sex with more than one man and you should be able to acknowledge that fact without feeling like you should be ashamed. No one is going to make a man feel ashamed because he thinks that an FMF threesome is sexy, so why should a woman be ashamed at thinking an MFM threesome is sexy?

Make Sure He Knows He is Still Your Number One

If you’re trying to do this as a way to fill a void in your relationship or you feel there are other big problems that this would be helping you cover up, you probably aren’t going to be set up to succeed as a hotwife. Assuming your relationship is going well, I would say that you should also make sure that he knows that nothing that would happen would make him replaceable. As it is put here:

You want to be able to provide honest reassurance that he is still your number one and that you won’t do anything that makes him uncomfortable. It would be best if you also were willing to give your word that he can withdraw his agreement at any time.

And that’s it! Hopefully some combination of the above will work for you, because I’m always in support of more people engaging in MFM threesomes. Of course, if you prefer to just jump right in flatly tell your partner that you want to have sex with other men, be my guest. I think you’re not likely to have that go well, but I could certainly be wrong.

Categories
sex Swinging

Who Brings Up Hotwifing/Cuckolding?

So you want to swing, but you aren’t sure if your partner feels the same. It can be an uncomfortable topic to bring up with your partner the first time. Something to induce the nerves, at least.

Even if you’re pretty sure that your partner has the same interests as you, putting it out there can make you question just how sure you are that you’re right. And if you have no idea? It’s enough to make you squirm. Even if a desire to swing is extremely common, no one wants to make their partner worry that you think they’re inadequate.

And therein lies one of the most common questions. Who is the first one to bring up hotwifing or cuckolding, or just swinging in general? The man or the woman? I’m focusing on M/F couples, predominantly straight here. The dynamics can change quite a bit with same sex couples.

In my experience, it’s the man that brings up a hotwife or cuckold fantasy first, and I know that I’m not alone on that. In fact, I had to really dig to find examples of women online who were the first to bring the subject up, at least successfully.

There could be many reasons for that, but really, I think most men feel threatened by that kind of request from the woman they’re seeing, even if it is a turn on for them. It can feel emasculating and threatening, but not in the good, exciting way. After all, if a man wants a hotwife because he gets off on the degradation aspect, it’s a contrived degradation. It’s just all a part of role play that’s part of being in what’s seen as a safe and secure relationship.

And it’s hard to blame them for that, really. It’s only natural to feel like a woman would only be asking for permission to screw other men because she sees her partner as inadequate. That’s likely not the case, but it’s a completely normal thought.

No, almost all of the articles and accounts I’ve seen involve the man broaching the topic first. At least when it’s been successful. And it’s usually taken a little bit of persuasion before the woman comes around.

I don’t think I’ve ever met a couple where the woman is a hotwife where she was the one to bring it up, either. I did know a woman in college who brought it up to her boyfriend. It didn’t go well, even though he was into it. He thought she was just cheating and eyeing a threesome with a guy she was seeing on the side and didn’t take to her suggestion well.

It didn’t help that he was right, even if his being right didn’t affect his initial reaction.

Does anyone have a different experience where the woman brought it up first with success?

It just seems that there is so much misunderstanding about wifesharing, hotwifing, cuckolding, etc., that adding in extra insecurities when the woman brings it up first makes it that much more difficult.

As always, please check out my hotwifing/cuckolding works. The On His Orders series is racy; Hooky is on the tamer side. Enjoy!

Categories
Erotica sex Swinging Uncategorized

Does Having a Threesome With Your Partner Obligate You to Have Another?

Specifically, if you have a threesome with two women and a man (FMF), are you now obligated to have a threesome with two men and a woman (MFM)?

To me, the answer is an obvious “no,” but I’ve seen quite a few people and sites say otherwise. In order to be “equal,” you have to do both kinds of threesomes “for” your partner. I can’t find it anymore, but I remember hearing Channing Tatum talk about it years ago, saying something along the lines of, “well, yeah, a threesome with two women is great, but remember, you have to give her a threesome with two guys afterwards, so be ready for that.”

I think that view is absolutely bonkers. No wonder so many people have failed threesome attempts. If this is how you understand the dynamics of group sex to be, you really aren’t cut out for it, in my opinion. There are just so many problems with viewing sex through that kind of prism that it can be difficult to even begin addressing how wrong it is. I’ll take a crack at it, though.

First, threesomes and any other kind of swinging as a couple has to be something that both partners want to do. If one partner really doesn’t want to add a third person – even if I think they should be open to trying it out to see how fun it can be – they shouldn’t. And their partner should respect that. It doesn’t mean they can’t explore it again in the future, but you can’t get involved if one person isn’t interested.

Second, and related, is that you aren’t having a threesome “for” your partner. Your having a threesome with your partner as part of a mutual desire to have one. If a couple has an FMF threesome, it should be because both the man and the woman wanted to add another woman to the mix. Neither one should be able to say sometime in the future that their partner owes them an MFM because they did FMF “for” the other. No, you did FMF because you both wanted to. Neither of them gets to say that they had a threesome for the other because they both wanted it. Even if one of them had a greater interest in FMF than the other. And, of course, the inverse is true – just interchange FMF for MFM.

Third, if the above isn’t the case and one person was only having a threesome in order to use that as leverage over the other, that’s really shitty. I mean, really, really shitty. That’s sexual coercion and isn’t fair to your partner. If my husband had only been having MFMs with me in order to make me feel obligated to give him an FMF, I would have felt entirely violated, even if I did want to have an FMF with him.

Fourth, viewing sexual relationships and bringing extra partners into bed with you as being so tit-for-tat is an extremely and overly simplistic way to view equality. If you have FMF you have to have MFM, or vice versa, is a child-like way to think about equality in the complex relationships that adults have. It just doesn’t compare to “Well, Jane had a turn with Toy A, so now John gets a turn with Toy A” like we tell our toddlers when they argue.

But, if you want to check out some of my works where the couples are happily having threesomes and foursomes, please check out the below:

Categories
Erotica sex Swinging

Polyamory v. Swinging

Not a bad way for a girl to wake up in the above shot.

 A lot of people tend to group polyamory and swinging as being one and the same, even though the reality is much different. I mean, sure, both practices involve consensual non-monogamy, but aside from that, they really diverge. 

In swinging, you have one or both partners sleeping with other people with their significant other’s full knowledge. Or at least approval, in the case of swingers where one of the partners doesn’t want to know (or doesn’t get know) what the other is doing. But the sex is recreational and without commitment. It’s for the couples who crave a certain variety in their sex lives, or who enjoy watching, being watched, threesomes, foursomes, bigger groups, etc. There may also be some low-level amount of dating, but sex involving others is at least the main event in swinging, if not the only event.

By contrast, polyamory also typically involves sex with others, but the focus is on having additional relationships with other people on an emotional level. Any sex is really more of a byproduct of being in a relationship, not the sole/primary purpose of the relationship. The connections sought after are much more personal, deeper. It isn’t being done as a recreational activity. 

To me, despite any similarities, you can’t really compare the two much more than you could compare a long-term romantic relationship with the one-night stand you had with that guy whose name you don’t entirely remember. 

I can remember when I first heard of polyamory. I hadn’t come around to the realization that threesomes with two guys was something I actually wanted all that long before then, but still, the idea seemed so… taboo. Like, MFMs happened and they happened WAY more than portrayed in the media, but the idea of three or more people all being in a group-type of relationship still hadn’t even crossed my mind as being a real thing. 

The idea really turned me on. It still does, actually. Picturing being in a committed, ongoing, consensual, and closed relationship with two or three men who are only dating me and all at the same time makes me horny every time I think about it, without fail. And my husband I talked about it to some degree after we got engaged. Our schedules didn’t quite match up and he kept telling me that I should have a daytime boyfriend and a nighttime fiance. Which sounded amazing. 

And I did see some other guys during that time period while I was off and my husband was at work. And that was great and a lot of fun for both of us. But it was never in a way that more closely resembled polyamory over swinging.

The reality for both of us, though, is that neither one of us is all that cut out for polyamory. Truthfully, I don’t want the extra relationships and I think the reality of polyamory is that I couldn’t juggle the needs and demands that multiple partners would make of me. I wouldn’t be able to give enough, emotionally, to more than just my husband and I would always be wanting more, emotionally from them. The appeal, when I think of polyamory, isn’t the deeper connection with multiple guys – it’s the sex. I just want the below – a woman with two guys, engaging in the fun, flirty side of sexuality.

The jealousy is another side of polyamory that I think I would struggle with. There was some video on snapchat that my husband and I watched together a while back that was just about two couples that met and then made a quad, so both men exclusively dating both women (and vice versa). And that idea is appealing in a way (although not as much as one woman exclusively dating three men), but I know the jealousy would get the better of me, regardless of whether the men are dating other women or not. I mean, maybe I’m wrong and it would work out perfectly, but I just can’t picture it for myself. 

Obviously, everyone is different and what works for one person/couple may not work for another. 

And if swinging is your thing, please check out my books featuring swingers:

Categories
Erotica Swinging

On His Orders: Faithfully Unfaithful now available!

It was technically available last Friday if you wanted to order the paperback. But the pre-order period is now complete and you can read the full e-book starting today!

On His Orders can be purchased on Amazon. The paperback can also be purchased on Amazon or on Barnes & Noble.

Personally, I prefer physical books over e-books. It obviously costs a little bit more, but still. It just feels better to read from an actual book. Plus, I’m very proud of the work I did in putting the physical book together, even if the author’s commission is less for the paperback. I’m happy with Hooky, too, but I learned a lot and I think I put together a better looking product with On His Orders

Happy Weekend!

Categories
Uncategorized

Preview for On His Orders: Faithfully Unfaithful

A preview for my second publication, On His Orders: Faithfully Unfaithful, is below. It is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

It is also available in e-book format on AppleKobo, and Scribd.


_________________________________________________________________

Come over after class today.” His text was the first thing I saw when I woke up that morning. “I promised I’d deliver. I have your first duty as a slutwife.

****

“Are you ready for your first instruction?” he asked me.

It finally felt completely real. My heart raced, beating as though it were up in my throat once more. I knew I was nervous, but I was more excited than anything. It was an absolute dream to have a sexy boyfriend who wanted his hobby to be finding me sexy men to fuck in front of him. I licked my lips to respond but found words to be elusive and merely nodded my head instead.

“Good,” he said. “Get naked.” 

I paused briefly and my heart seemed to beat even harder. I’m not a natural exhibitionist and no guy had ever seen me naked before seeing me with clothes on. “Seriously?” I asked.

“Yes. And quickly!” He managed to both scowl and smirk at the same time at my disobedience.

“Are you sure you’re into this? If you’re going to do what you’re told, you don’t have much time,” he told me after watching my initial hesitation.

knew I was into this and wanted to do it right. Without thinking any more, I peeled my tank top over my head and unhooked my bra. I slid both my sweatpants and panties off at the same time in one swift motion, completing the transition from fully clothed to completely naked in less than ten seconds. I had been naked in his living room many times, but as I waited for the arrival of a complete stranger, I had never felt so exposed. 

“Good girl. You do want that second dick,” he said. 

He was right. I hadn’t fucked another guy since meeting my boyfriend five months ago and I had been going stir-crazy over it for several weeks already.

“We’re going to stay in the living room today. Put your clothes in your backpack and then put your backpack in the bedroom closet. Close all the doors on your way back – I want you as far away from your clothes as possible.”

I didn’t hesitate this time and it felt astonishingly freeing. I hurriedly stuffed my clothes tightly into my bag and zipped it shut before bringing it down the hall and into his bedroom. The closet door was waiting open for me and I wasted no time in shutting my bag inside. I shut his bedroom door behind me and got back to the living room as quickly as I could. I practically ran on my way to and back from his bedroom, his earlier admonishment that I didn’t have much time ringing in my ears the entire way. 

I stood next to my boyfriend and eagerly waited in silence. We were both so still and quiet that I imagined I could hear my heartbeat, the sound of its rhythmic pounding punctuated over the sound of my nervous breathing. But it only took a few seconds before I heard a light knocking at the front door. I didn’t even see my boyfriend buzz our guest into the building. 

The sound of Josh’s knuckles connecting with the only thing separating my naked body from the eyes and hands of a complete stranger echoed around in my head as if it were trapped there, increasing in volume and intensity every time it seemed to rattle back through the silence of my thoughts. His knocking was my first concrete indication that Josh was real. Until then, becoming a slutwife was little more than a fun fantasy.

I looked to my boyfriend, who merely nodded in my direction before looking towards the door. He didn’t speak, but we both knew what I was expected to do.

My heart was still beating as hard as ever, though now it was due at least as much to nerves as to excitement. I walked very carefully to the front door, stepping lightly as though afraid to make any noise. The room felt like it was beginning to spin, and I moved slowly, like I was trying to walk under water. When I finally reached the front door, I paused and took a deep breath, knowing that fantasy would be replaced by reality the second I opened the door. 

As I reached for the handle, my boyfriend’s voice called out, quietly giving me one further instruction. 

“Pull the door all the way open. Don’t just open it up a crack.”

I looked down at my naked body, in awe of what I was about to do. I had woken up that day thinking it was going to be a regular day just like any other. It was astounding how quickly things had changed. 

I knew I couldn’t wait for long before opening the door, though. If I did, I was afraid I would lose my nerve entirely. Taking one more quick, deep breath, I steadied myself and turned the door handle before pulling the door all the way open.

Categories
sex Swinging

Double Barrel Blowjobs

Is it primarily only bisexual guys who are into them? Or are most men who are into MFMs and MMFMs also turned on by double barrel blowjobs?

If you aren’t familiar with what they are, urban dictionary can always help. But basically, it’s when a woman not only gives a blowjob to two guys at the same time, but puts both dicks in her mouth at the same time so they’re like a double barrel shotgun on their way into her mouth.

My husband likes them and I always have thought that threesomes work best when the guys aren’t afraid of each other, so I’m happy to oblige. I’ve seen the term “heteroflexible” before and since the guys necessarily have to touch for a double barrel BJ, I figure they have to be at least a little bit heteroflexible to enjoy this one.

My husband is straight and isn’t interested in doing anything with another guy without me in the middle or in touching the other guy unless it’s a part of getting inside of me, but I’ve always wondered where most guys fall with this sort of thing. Societal expectations are that women are heteroflexible, at a minimum, and preferably bisexual, but that really doesn’t seem to extend to men.

Not that labels matter. If you’re new to MFMs, you should definitely be discussing what you’re all comfortable with. No one wants an awkward moment where someone is freaking out because an unknown line was crossed.

And if you’re into double barrel blowjobs, maybe you’ll find my On His Orders series your cup of tea. There is plenty of double barrel action inside:

Categories
Erotica sex Swinging

On Sloppy Seconds

My husband was not the first guy I dated that wanted to have an MFM threesome. In fact, I don’t think I’ve had a relationship, casual or otherwise, since losing my virginity where an MFM didn’t come up at some point.

But he was the first guy who wanted me to have sex with another guy and then come home to him for sloppy seconds sex. I suppose that just means he was the first real cuckold I’ve been with. Every other time I had sex with a guy while dating someone else, it was in a threesome and my BF/FWB wouldn’t have been okay not being present and partaking in the fun.

Like most women, I was surprised that my then-boyfriend proposed that I have sex with another guy without him even being there. I was the woman in one of my last posts (Why Do Men Enjoy Cuckolding) who just didn’t understand the appeal. It seems so foreign to me now. To struggle to understand the appeal.

But I suppose it isn’t surprising in retrospect. I didn’t get it at all when I had my first threesome with two guys, and I wasn’t even dating either of them. Both were straight and I didn’t understand why they would be okay with sharing one woman. In my mind, it was like they were only getting half the sex. But I quickly came around to see all of the reasons why straight guys would want to have an MFM.

And then I didn’t understand when a boyfriend was into MFMs as well. Sure, I got the appeal to MFMs, but it took me a while to understand how jealousy wouldn’t ruin the whole experience for him. Even though he wanted it, I still felt like it was rude or disrespectful to have sex with another guy and my boyfriend at the same time.

I can actually remember promising that boyfriend that he would get to have sex with me first and be the first of the guys to cum. As though one were simply going to get behind the other one and wait his turn until Guy #1 was completely done. He quickly corrected me that that wasn’t what he was looking for. He wanted a threesome with spitroasting, double BJs, and both guys alternating positions and taking turns, etc.

I made the same mistake with my husband when he said he wanted sloppy seconds. I told him that we could screw earlier in the day before I went over to the other guy’s place. That way, I’d be “fresh” for him. He just looked at me funny and told me “No thanks” and that the appeal was for him to go second.

Even then, I still didn’t get it. I still had in my mind that it would be wrong to not let him have me first, so I promised him that I would clean up as well as I could right after and shower before I got home. He just shook his head and laughed a little bit, telling me I missed the point. He wanted me to look, smell, feel, and taste like I had just been fucked by another guy. There was little point to sloppy seconds if I was going to clean myself up so well that it was like nothing had happened at all.

He likes how I feel, smell, and taste different. He even knows by my look. I had sex with a guy who left our place not long before my husband got home and my husband knew that I had sex with someone. Granted, I didn’t clean up at all, but he could tell just by looking at me.

Most of our play is together, rather than me with other people while he waits, but we’ve done just sloppy seconds for him enough that he has a game from it where he likes to guess what I did when I get home without me telling him first. He tries to piece together oral, rimming, anal, vaginal, number of times, and where the guy came. He can do whatever he wants to me to try to figure it out and his accuracy is impressive.

Also, please be sure to check out my works that involve sloppy seconds:

Categories
General sex

Sex Toy Review, Butt Plug Edition

We have a pretty decent collection of toys, so I’ll take a little break from my reviews after this one. But next up is the Crystal Jelly Anal Delight butt plug we purchased!

With quarantine and practicing social distancing, my husband and I haven’t had anyone join us in quite some time, even though we both would enjoy a good threesome right about now. To that end, we purchased a new butt plug, to the dimensions pictured above.

To start, I’ll say that I’m not a big fan of anal. It can be fun if my partner is going slowly, warming me up, and making sure my body has a chance to take it up the ass as long as it’s something that we’re doing only once in a while. It can hurt a little bit and I generally don’t enjoy the feeling of having something in my butt. I’ve been double penetrated more than a small handful of times, though, and it almost always gives me a better orgasm. I’ve never found that being DP’ed is more likely to be slightly painful than regular anal, but it does make sex feel far more intense and magnifies the feeling of the guy in my pussy.

I have three other butt plugs, which are all stainless steel gem plugs of varying size that I got in a three pack years ago. I think they’re fun little additions, but they’re also very short and don’t do much in terms of simulating double penetration.

This, however, is different. With about 5 inches of plug that can be inserted, it fills me pretty deeply. When I wear this while having sex with my husband, it definitely mimics the feeling of being double penetrated much more than the gem plugs we have. I also think the material itself is more comfortable than the steel. This is soft and squishy and much more… forgiving, inside of you. Unlike the steel, there is some “give” when your body pushes against these.

Also, it stays in place really well and doesn’t shift when changing positions or start to slide out during sex. That happens occasionally with the other plugs.

As for the drawbacks, I don’t think this was accurately described. I saw it advertised in multiple places and the manufacturer likes to say that this is great for beginners. Frankly, I beg to differ. This looks relatively intimidating when you take it out of the packaging. At it’s thickest point – the fifth bump, it’s about as thick as a real cock. In my opinion, that makes it not ideal for beginners.

Additionally, in addition to being long, the tapering is minimal between bumps until you get the whole thing inserted. It’s pitched as though you can just use a little bit, depending on personal preference, but I don’t see how that’s realistic. Maybe you could only use four bumps instead of all five, but I think you would need to use at least four. Even once you get the fifth bump inserted, it doesn’t taper all that much. It stays in, for sure, but I like how the gem plugs taper more. For me, anal is only uncomfortable at that point of insertion, so the smaller it tapers down to, the more comfortable it tends to be.

Obviously, cocks don’t taper, but they also don’t usually stay five inches deep into your ass. The end result was that it makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable with how permanently full it leaves me feeling.

Overall, 3 of 5 stars. I like the material and I generally like the length, but I would prefer something shorter and something that tapered a little more. Perhaps anal beads would be more my style.

Categories
Erotica sex Swinging

Planned or Organic Threesomes?

It seems that you always hear about threesomes that someone else has had that just happened naturally. Three people or a couple and another person meet at a party and really hit it off. Or three close friends who hang out all the time. No planning. No discussing beforehand. Just feeling the mood and the moment and retiring to a bedroom to get it on.

Does that really happen for people? Because my husband and I have both had more than our fair of threesomes, but we’ve never experienced a spontaneous group hookup.

Perhaps we’re too cautious, but it just seems like too much could go wrong. Even with planning and discussing before some of our experiences, we’ve had people “forget” about certain boundaries that had been set. I have to imagine that the chances of crossing a line is much more likely if there are multiple people and that line isn’t entirely clear.

It’s fun to fantasize about, though. I would love to casually hang out with a couple of guys and have it spontaneously turn into an “all hands on deck to please Alicia” kind of a night that goes off without a hitch.

Part of it is probably that I don’t think I’d ever want to try something like that with someone I already know. I know that’s what some people prefer, but I just worry too much that they wouldn’t be into it and it would be weird that we brought it up. Or that they were into it, but things still got weird afterwards.

The only time I’ve even seen a completely random threesome take off was one time at a frat party in college. Which is completely stereotypical, so I don’t know. Maybe there is something to the depiction in TV and movies. But I went there with a friend of mine, two girls I didn’t know, and two guys that were acquaintances. The two girls were absolutely hammered by the time we even got in the car to go. We only had room for five people in the car, but one of the drunk girls laid across three of us in the backseat.

After talking about how her boyfriend was in the military overseas, she told us that he just wanted her to be happy, so she could have sex with as many people as she wanted. The guy friend of mine who was driving asked her if he actually told her it was okay for her to screw other people, or if she was just assuming. She told us it was neither – she just knew it was true. Then she offered my other guy friend a blowjob for the rest of the drive since her head was already in his lap.

Anyway, the party was gross – most of it in a small basement with concrete walls while dudes tried to fingerbang any girl with a pulse. But not terribly long before I left, I watched as the two drunk girls made out with the same guy at the same time on the dance floor before going up to his room.

So, I mean, I know it happens. It just hasn’t been my experience.

And if threesomes are your thing, please make sure you check out my threesome books: