Tag: threesome

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Erotica sex Swinging Uncategorized

Does Having a Threesome With Your Partner Obligate You to Have Another?

Specifically, if you have a threesome with two women and a man (FMF), are you now obligated to have a threesome with two men and a woman (MFM)?

To me, the answer is an obvious “no,” but I’ve seen quite a few people and sites say otherwise. In order to be “equal,” you have to do both kinds of threesomes “for” your partner. I can’t find it anymore, but I remember hearing Channing Tatum talk about it years ago, saying something along the lines of, “well, yeah, a threesome with two women is great, but remember, you have to give her a threesome with two guys afterwards, so be ready for that.”

I think that view is absolutely bonkers. No wonder so many people have failed threesome attempts. If this is how you understand the dynamics of group sex to be, you really aren’t cut out for it, in my opinion. There are just so many problems with viewing sex through that kind of prism that it can be difficult to even begin addressing how wrong it is. I’ll take a crack at it, though.

First, threesomes and any other kind of swinging as a couple has to be something that both partners want to do. If one partner really doesn’t want to add a third person – even if I think they should be open to trying it out to see how fun it can be – they shouldn’t. And their partner should respect that. It doesn’t mean they can’t explore it again in the future, but you can’t get involved if one person isn’t interested.

Second, and related, is that you aren’t having a threesome “for” your partner. Your having a threesome with your partner as part of a mutual desire to have one. If a couple has an FMF threesome, it should be because both the man and the woman wanted to add another woman to the mix. Neither one should be able to say sometime in the future that their partner owes them an MFM because they did FMF “for” the other. No, you did FMF because you both wanted to. Neither of them gets to say that they had a threesome for the other because they both wanted it. Even if one of them had a greater interest in FMF than the other. And, of course, the inverse is true – just interchange FMF for MFM.

Third, if the above isn’t the case and one person was only having a threesome in order to use that as leverage over the other, that’s really shitty. I mean, really, really shitty. That’s sexual coercion and isn’t fair to your partner. If my husband had only been having MFMs with me in order to make me feel obligated to give him an FMF, I would have felt entirely violated, even if I did want to have an FMF with him.

Fourth, viewing sexual relationships and bringing extra partners into bed with you as being so tit-for-tat is an extremely and overly simplistic way to view equality. If you have FMF you have to have MFM, or vice versa, is a child-like way to think about equality in the complex relationships that adults have. It just doesn’t compare to “Well, Jane had a turn with Toy A, so now John gets a turn with Toy A” like we tell our toddlers when they argue.

But, if you want to check out some of my works where the couples are happily having threesomes and foursomes, please check out the below:

On His Orders: Faithfully Unfaithful and On His Orders: Entertaining Three. Previews and additional links can be found here: All My Works
Categories
Erotica sex Swinging

Polyamory v. Swinging

Not a bad way for a girl to wake up in the above shot.

 A lot of people tend to group polyamory and swinging as being one and the same, even though the reality is much different. I mean, sure, both practices involve consensual non-monogamy, but aside from that, they really diverge. 

In swinging, you have one or both partners sleeping with other people with their significant other’s full knowledge. Or at least approval, in the case of swingers where one of the partners doesn’t want to know (or doesn’t get know) what the other is doing. But the sex is recreational and without commitment. It’s for the couples who crave a certain variety in their sex lives, or who enjoy watching, being watched, threesomes, foursomes, bigger groups, etc. There may also be some low-level amount of dating, but sex involving others is at least the main event in swinging, if not the only event.

By contrast, polyamory also typically involves sex with others, but the focus is on having additional relationships with other people on an emotional level. Any sex is really more of a byproduct of being in a relationship, not the sole/primary purpose of the relationship. The connections sought after are much more personal, deeper. It isn’t being done as a recreational activity. 

To me, despite any similarities, you can’t really compare the two much more than you could compare a long-term romantic relationship with the one-night stand you had with that guy whose name you don’t entirely remember. 

I can remember when I first heard of polyamory. I hadn’t come around to the realization that threesomes with two guys was something I actually wanted all that long before then, but still, the idea seemed so… taboo. Like, MFMs happened and they happened WAY more than portrayed in the media, but the idea of three or more people all being in a group-type of relationship still hadn’t even crossed my mind as being a real thing. 

The idea really turned me on. It still does, actually. Picturing being in a committed, ongoing, consensual, and closed relationship with two or three men who are only dating me and all at the same time makes me horny every time I think about it, without fail. And my husband I talked about it to some degree after we got engaged. Our schedules didn’t quite match up and he kept telling me that I should have a daytime boyfriend and a nighttime fiance. Which sounded amazing. 

And I did see some other guys during that time period while I was off and my husband was at work. And that was great and a lot of fun for both of us. But it was never in a way that more closely resembled polyamory over swinging.

The reality for both of us, though, is that neither one of us is all that cut out for polyamory. Truthfully, I don’t want the extra relationships and I think the reality of polyamory is that I couldn’t juggle the needs and demands that multiple partners would make of me. I wouldn’t be able to give enough, emotionally, to more than just my husband and I would always be wanting more, emotionally from them. The appeal, when I think of polyamory, isn’t the deeper connection with multiple guys – it’s the sex. I just want the below – a woman with two guys, engaging in the fun, flirty side of sexuality.

The jealousy is another side of polyamory that I think I would struggle with. There was some video on snapchat that my husband and I watched together a while back that was just about two couples that met and then made a quad, so both men exclusively dating both women (and vice versa). And that idea is appealing in a way (although not as much as one woman exclusively dating three men), but I know the jealousy would get the better of me, regardless of whether the men are dating other women or not. I mean, maybe I’m wrong and it would work out perfectly, but I just can’t picture it for myself. 

Obviously, everyone is different and what works for one person/couple may not work for another. 

And if swinging is your thing, please check out my books featuring swingers:

On His Orders: Faithfully Unfaithful and On His Orders: Entertaining Three. Previews and additional links can be found here: All My Works
Categories
Erotica Swinging

On His Orders: Faithfully Unfaithful now available!

It was technically available last Friday if you wanted to order the paperback. But the pre-order period is now complete and you can read the full e-book starting today!

On His Orders can be purchased on Amazon. The paperback can also be purchased on Amazon or on Barnes & Noble.

Personally, I prefer physical books over e-books. It obviously costs a little bit more, but still. It just feels better to read from an actual book. Plus, I’m very proud of the work I did in putting the physical book together, even if the author’s commission is less for the paperback. I’m happy with Hooky, too, but I learned a lot and I think I put together a better looking product with On His Orders. 

Happy Weekend!

Categories
Uncategorized

Preview for On His Orders: Faithfully Unfaithful

A preview for my second publication, On His Orders: Faithfully Unfaithful, is below. It is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

It is also available in e-book format on Apple, Kobo, and Scribd.


_________________________________________________________________

“Come over after class today.” His text was the first thing I saw when I woke up that morning. “I promised I’d deliver. I have your first duty as a slutwife.”

****

“Are you ready for your first instruction?” he asked me.

It finally felt completely real. My heart raced, beating as though it were up in my throat once more. I knew I was nervous, but I was more excited than anything. It was an absolute dream to have a sexy boyfriend who wanted his hobby to be finding me sexy men to fuck in front of him. I licked my lips to respond but found words to be elusive and merely nodded my head instead.

“Good,” he said. “Get naked.” 

I paused briefly and my heart seemed to beat even harder. I’m not a natural exhibitionist and no guy had ever seen me naked before seeing me with clothes on. “Seriously?” I asked.

“Yes. And quickly!” He managed to both scowl and smirk at the same time at my disobedience.

“Are you sure you’re into this? If you’re going to do what you’re told, you don’t have much time,” he told me after watching my initial hesitation.

I knew I was into this and wanted to do it right. Without thinking any more, I peeled my tank top over my head and unhooked my bra. I slid both my sweatpants and panties off at the same time in one swift motion, completing the transition from fully clothed to completely naked in less than ten seconds. I had been naked in his living room many times, but as I waited for the arrival of a complete stranger, I had never felt so exposed. 

“Good girl. You do want that second dick,” he said. 

He was right. I hadn’t fucked another guy since meeting my boyfriend five months ago and I had been going stir-crazy over it for several weeks already.

“We’re going to stay in the living room today. Put your clothes in your backpack and then put your backpack in the bedroom closet. Close all the doors on your way back – I want you as far away from your clothes as possible.”

I didn’t hesitate this time and it felt astonishingly freeing. I hurriedly stuffed my clothes tightly into my bag and zipped it shut before bringing it down the hall and into his bedroom. The closet door was waiting open for me and I wasted no time in shutting my bag inside. I shut his bedroom door behind me and got back to the living room as quickly as I could. I practically ran on my way to and back from his bedroom, his earlier admonishment that I didn’t have much time ringing in my ears the entire way. 

I stood next to my boyfriend and eagerly waited in silence. We were both so still and quiet that I imagined I could hear my heartbeat, the sound of its rhythmic pounding punctuated over the sound of my nervous breathing. But it only took a few seconds before I heard a light knocking at the front door. I didn’t even see my boyfriend buzz our guest into the building. 

The sound of Josh’s knuckles connecting with the only thing separating my naked body from the eyes and hands of a complete stranger echoed around in my head as if it were trapped there, increasing in volume and intensity every time it seemed to rattle back through the silence of my thoughts. His knocking was my first concrete indication that Josh was real. Until then, becoming a slutwife was little more than a fun fantasy.

I looked to my boyfriend, who merely nodded in my direction before looking towards the door. He didn’t speak, but we both knew what I was expected to do.

My heart was still beating as hard as ever, though now it was due at least as much to nerves as to excitement. I walked very carefully to the front door, stepping lightly as though afraid to make any noise. The room felt like it was beginning to spin, and I moved slowly, like I was trying to walk under water. When I finally reached the front door, I paused and took a deep breath, knowing that fantasy would be replaced by reality the second I opened the door. 

As I reached for the handle, my boyfriend’s voice called out, quietly giving me one further instruction. 

“Pull the door all the way open. Don’t just open it up a crack.”

I looked down at my naked body, in awe of what I was about to do. I had woken up that day thinking it was going to be a regular day just like any other. It was astounding how quickly things had changed. 

I knew I couldn’t wait for long before opening the door, though. If I did, I was afraid I would lose my nerve entirely. Taking one more quick, deep breath, I steadied myself and turned the door handle before pulling the door all the way open.

Categories
sex Swinging

Double Barrel Blowjobs

Is it primarily only bisexual guys who are into them? Or are most men who are into MFMs and MMFMs also turned on by double barrel blowjobs?

If you aren’t familiar with what they are, urban dictionary can always help. But basically, it’s when a woman not only gives a blowjob to two guys at the same time, but puts both dicks in her mouth at the same time so they’re like a double barrel shotgun on their way into her mouth.

My husband likes them and I always have thought that threesomes work best when the guys aren’t afraid of each other, so I’m happy to oblige. I’ve seen the term “heteroflexible” before and since the guys necessarily have to touch for a double barrel BJ, I figure they have to be at least a little bit heteroflexible to enjoy this one.

My husband is straight and isn’t interested in doing anything with another guy without me in the middle or in touching the other guy unless it’s a part of getting inside of me, but I’ve always wondered where most guys fall with this sort of thing. Societal expectations are that women are heteroflexible, at a minimum, and preferably bisexual, but that really doesn’t seem to extend to men.

Not that labels matter. If you’re new to MFMs, you should definitely be discussing what you’re all comfortable with. No one wants an awkward moment where someone is freaking out because an unknown line was crossed.

And if you’re into double barrel blowjobs, maybe you’ll find my On His Orders series your cup of tea. There is plenty of double barrel action inside:

On His Orders: Faithfully Unfaithful and On His Orders: Entertaining Three. Previews and additional links can be found here: All My Works
Categories
Erotica sex Swinging

On Sloppy Seconds

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

My husband was not the first guy I dated that wanted to have an MFM threesome. In fact, I don’t think I’ve had a relationship, casual or otherwise, since losing my virginity where an MFM didn’t come up at some point.

But he was the first guy who wanted me to have sex with another guy and then come home to him for sloppy seconds sex. I suppose that just means he was the first real cuckold I’ve been with. Every other time I had sex with a guy while dating someone else, it was in a threesome and my BF/FWB wouldn’t have been okay not being present and partaking in the fun.

Like most women, I was surprised that my then-boyfriend proposed that I have sex with another guy without him even being there. I was the woman in one of my last posts (Why Do Men Enjoy Cuckolding) who just didn’t understand the appeal. It seems so foreign to me now. To struggle to understand the appeal.

But I suppose it isn’t surprising in retrospect. I didn’t get it at all when I had my first threesome with two guys, and I wasn’t even dating either of them. Both were straight and I didn’t understand why they would be okay with sharing one woman. In my mind, it was like they were only getting half the sex. But I quickly came around to see all of the reasons why straight guys would want to have an MFM.

And then I didn’t understand when a boyfriend was into MFMs as well. Sure, I got the appeal to MFMs, but it took me a while to understand how jealousy wouldn’t ruin the whole experience for him. Even though he wanted it, I still felt like it was rude or disrespectful to have sex with another guy and my boyfriend at the same time.

I can actually remember promising that boyfriend that he would get to have sex with me first and be the first of the guys to cum. As though one were simply going to get behind the other one and wait his turn until Guy #1 was completely done. He quickly corrected me that that wasn’t what he was looking for. He wanted a threesome with spitroasting, double BJs, and both guys alternating positions and taking turns, etc.

I made the same mistake with my husband when he said he wanted sloppy seconds. I told him that we could screw earlier in the day before I went over to the other guy’s place. That way, I’d be “fresh” for him. He just looked at me funny and told me “No thanks” and that the appeal was for him to go second.

Even then, I still didn’t get it. I still had in my mind that it would be wrong to not let him have me first, so I promised him that I would clean up as well as I could right after and shower before I got home. He just shook his head and laughed a little bit, telling me I missed the point. He wanted me to look, smell, feel, and taste like I had just been fucked by another guy. There was little point to sloppy seconds if I was going to clean myself up so well that it was like nothing had happened at all.

He likes how I feel, smell, and taste different. He even knows by my look. I had sex with a guy who left our place not long before my husband got home and my husband knew that I had sex with someone. Granted, I didn’t clean up at all, but he could tell just by looking at me.

Most of our play is together, rather than me with other people while he waits, but we’ve done just sloppy seconds for him enough that he has a game from it where he likes to guess what I did when I get home without me telling him first. He tries to piece together oral, rimming, anal, vaginal, number of times, and where the guy came. He can do whatever he wants to me to try to figure it out and his accuracy is impressive.

Also, please be sure to check out my works that involve sloppy seconds:

On His Orders: Faithfully Unfaithful and On His Orders: Entertaining Three and Hooky. Previews and additional links can be found here: All My Works

Categories
General sex

Sex Toy Review, Butt Plug Edition

We have a pretty decent collection of toys, so I’ll take a little break from my reviews after this one. But next up is the Crystal Jelly Anal Delight butt plug we purchased!

With quarantine and practicing social distancing, my husband and I haven’t had anyone join us in quite some time, even though we both would enjoy a good threesome right about now. To that end, we purchased a new butt plug, to the dimensions pictured above.

To start, I’ll say that I’m not a big fan of anal. It can be fun if my partner is going slowly, warming me up, and making sure my body has a chance to take it up the ass as long as it’s something that we’re doing only once in a while. It can hurt a little bit and I generally don’t enjoy the feeling of having something in my butt. I’ve been double penetrated more than a small handful of times, though, and it almost always gives me a better orgasm. I’ve never found that being DP’ed is more likely to be slightly painful than regular anal, but it does make sex feel far more intense and magnifies the feeling of the guy in my pussy.

I have three other butt plugs, which are all stainless steel gem plugs of varying size that I got in a three pack years ago. I think they’re fun little additions, but they’re also very short and don’t do much in terms of simulating double penetration.

This, however, is different. With about 5 inches of plug that can be inserted, it fills me pretty deeply. When I wear this while having sex with my husband, it definitely mimics the feeling of being double penetrated much more than the gem plugs we have. I also think the material itself is more comfortable than the steel. This is soft and squishy and much more… forgiving, inside of you. Unlike the steel, there is some “give” when your body pushes against these.

Also, it stays in place really well and doesn’t shift when changing positions or start to slide out during sex. That happens occasionally with the other plugs.

As for the drawbacks, I don’t think this was accurately described. I saw it advertised in multiple places and the manufacturer likes to say that this is great for beginners. Frankly, I beg to differ. This looks relatively intimidating when you take it out of the packaging. At it’s thickest point – the fifth bump, it’s about as thick as a real cock. In my opinion, that makes it not ideal for beginners.

Additionally, in addition to being long, the tapering is minimal between bumps until you get the whole thing inserted. It’s pitched as though you can just use a little bit, depending on personal preference, but I don’t see how that’s realistic. Maybe you could only use four bumps instead of all five, but I think you would need to use at least four. Even once you get the fifth bump inserted, it doesn’t taper all that much. It stays in, for sure, but I like how the gem plugs taper more. For me, anal is only uncomfortable at that point of insertion, so the smaller it tapers down to, the more comfortable it tends to be.

Obviously, cocks don’t taper, but they also don’t usually stay five inches deep into your ass. The end result was that it makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable with how permanently full it leaves me feeling.

Overall, 3 of 5 stars. I like the material and I generally like the length, but I would prefer something shorter and something that tapered a little more. Perhaps anal beads would be more my style.

Categories
Erotica sex Swinging

Planned or Organic Threesomes?

It seems that you always hear about threesomes that someone else has had that just happened naturally. Three people or a couple and another person meet at a party and really hit it off. Or three close friends who hang out all the time. No planning. No discussing beforehand. Just feeling the mood and the moment and retiring to a bedroom to get it on.

Does that really happen for people? Because my husband and I have both had more than our fair of threesomes, but we’ve never experienced a spontaneous group hookup.

Perhaps we’re too cautious, but it just seems like too much could go wrong. Even with planning and discussing before some of our experiences, we’ve had people “forget” about certain boundaries that had been set. I have to imagine that the chances of crossing a line is much more likely if there are multiple people and that line isn’t entirely clear.

It’s fun to fantasize about, though. I would love to casually hang out with a couple of guys and have it spontaneously turn into an “all hands on deck to please Alicia” kind of a night that goes off without a hitch.

Part of it is probably that I don’t think I’d ever want to try something like that with someone I already know. I know that’s what some people prefer, but I just worry too much that they wouldn’t be into it and it would be weird that we brought it up. Or that they were into it, but things still got weird afterwards.

The only time I’ve even seen a completely random threesome take off was one time at a frat party in college. Which is completely stereotypical, so I don’t know. Maybe there is something to the depiction in TV and movies. But I went there with a friend of mine, two girls I didn’t know, and two guys that were acquaintances. The two girls were absolutely hammered by the time we even got in the car to go. We only had room for five people in the car, but one of the drunk girls laid across three of us in the backseat.

After talking about how her boyfriend was in the military overseas, she told us that he just wanted her to be happy, so she could have sex with as many people as she wanted. The guy friend of mine who was driving asked her if he actually told her it was okay for her to screw other people, or if she was just assuming. She told us it was neither – she just knew it was true. Then she offered my other guy friend a blowjob for the rest of the drive since her head was already in his lap.

Anyway, the party was gross – most of it in a small basement with concrete walls while dudes tried to fingerbang any girl with a pulse. But not terribly long before I left, I watched as the two drunk girls made out with the same guy at the same time on the dance floor before going up to his room.

So, I mean, I know it happens. It just hasn’t been my experience.

And if threesomes are your thing, please make sure you check out my threesome books:

On His Orders: Faithfully Unfaithful and On His Orders: Entertaining Three. Previews and additional links can be found here: All My Works
Categories
Erotica Uncategorized Writing

Which Book Cover Do You Prefer?

Just ahead of the release of my first work, Hooky (available at Amazon here and Barnes & Noble here), I’m getting ready to publish my next one. On His Orders trends decidedly more towards erotica than Hooky did and is in the slutwife/hotwife category.

To that end, I would love to get some feedback from others on the potential book covers I put together. Full pictures are posted below and a poll is at the bottom of the post.

Option #1
Option #2
Option #3
Option #4
Categories
Erotica Writing

Hooky Preview

A preview of Hooky, my first work, is available below! Hooky is available for pre-order on Amazon here and will be released on May 6, 2020. A print version of the book will also be available at that time as well. The print version is also available for pre-order on Barnes & Noble here.

The book description is also here.

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Chapter 1

On the morning of June 10, Abbie opened her eyes and immediately sensed that the day had finally come for her to be a little naughty. As she lay in bed, the ringing of the alarm clock she had just turned off continued to echo in her ears. Still, her thoughts couldn’t have been clearer. She knew that it was time for her to finally check that one item off her bucket list. Really let loose with something she had wanted to do for months. Possibly years, but never had the courage. She wasn’t sure why that day in particular was the day, but there was something about the already-warm morning sun breaking through the windows of her condo that just seemed to speak to her. It was as if the light had wrapped itself around her, warming her entire body with some much-needed confidence while whispering into her ear, “Go ahead, Abbie. Be bad.”

With a deep breath, she reached for her phone on the nightstand and braced herself to go through with what she had talked herself out of doing so many times in the past. As soon as she started dialing the numbers, doubt crept in and she cringed. She knew herself well enough to know that she wouldn’t be able to pull it off and get the words out of her mouth.

For years, she had found it difficult to the point of impossible to do something she wasn’t supposed to do. Or even really ask for what she wanted. What had started out as being so shy that it was a little quirky had devolved into being a nearly crippling problem for her. She couldn’t afford to do that today. She needed him to agree.

Picturing how the conversation would go – her voice cracking in awkward nervousness, his incredulous tone as he asked her about what she had just said, followed by her agreeing to make this day be just like any other – she quickly changed her mind and decided to send a text. “I can be confident in a text,” she thought. With a rush of excitement, her pulse raced as she quickly typed out what she wanted to say and hit “send” before she could worry her way back to doing the so-called “right” thing.

“Hi Mr. Miller – I’m so sorry for any inconvenience this is going to cause, but I woke up feeling really ill and will not be able to make it into the office today. I’ll be sure to log this as sick time as soon as I recover enough to come back into the office. Again, I’m so sorry to do this.”

Her heart raced as she looked down at her phone. She wasn’t quite sure what she was expecting to happen in the seconds after she sent that text. Did she think the phone would explode, unable to handle transmitting this one little lie? Or did she think her boss was going to immediately call and start yelling because she had the audacity to get sick? For that matter, was he even awake yet? She couldn’t remember the last time he made it into the office before her.

After several minutes of sitting there with no response, she began to worry that her boss was actually going to fire her. She stood up and started to pace around her bedroom, anxiously fidgeting with her hands. Why hadn’t she acted sick yesterday? Wouldn’t that make saying you’re sick the next day seem that much more believable? Or, maybe it was even worse. What if he believed that she was sick, she took the day off, and everyone at her office realized that they functioned just fine without her? After all, when she had been sick in the past or dipped into any of her vacation time, she still spent a significant part of her day working from home.

The bigger question running through her mind, though, was why couldn’t she keep herself from worrying so damned much about little things? “Unbelievable,” she thought. “Just be normal.”

Reminding herself that she had already committed, she stopped pacing and forced herself to sit back down on her bed. Struggling to think of ways keep herself from worrying about every little thing, she laid her head back down on her pillow and did her best to convince herself that everything would be fine. If he was mad, she could go in a little late and pretend some extra sleep did her some good. And if she got fired for using a sick day, maybe the time was right for a career change.

Doing her best to distract herself from her compulsive fears, she let her mind wander to how nice the early morning summer sun felt as it filled her room. And she thought about how wrong it was that she was feeling guilty. How wrong it was for her to be twenty-nine years old and too scared to fake a sick day, something she had never even tried until now. How wrong it was for her to be as focused on her career as she was. How wrong it was that she had wasted her entire twenties doing little more than work. She was almost thirty and was happy with her career, sure, so maybe it wasn’t a complete waste. But she always found herself thinking more about all the opportunities she felt she had missed instead of how satisfied she was with her job.

Even when she was younger and still in school, she never made time or took the opportunity to do much of anything crazy. She went to a few parties and dated a few guys, but looking back, she could think of very few events in her life that made for an interesting story. If she were to meet someone new and was asked about the most exciting or scandalous thing she had ever done, she’s not even sure what she would say. If she responded at all, she would likely pretend that a fantasy of hers actually happened just to have something to say. Maybe Fantasy World Abbie lived in another country for a year. Or had sex with a guy without ever talking to him. Or paid for college by working as a skydiving instructor instead of as a math tutor. Or had dated four guys at once. Or maybe all of the above?

Then again, she wasn’t positive she could risk being on the receiving end of judgment about any of those. She had spent practically her entire adult life concerned over appearing acceptable to everyone she ever encountered that she often lost sight of what she really wanted or felt too paralyzed to get it. Every day for Abbie included an ongoing effort to push these worries from her mind with some days being more successful than others.

Her best efforts were allowing her to begin relaxing while she lay there. As she started to lose herself in thought about all the things she wished she had tried, she felt her phone vibrate on the bed next to her. A jolt of panic shot through her body, effectively destroying any level of relaxation she had achieved. Before she could bring herself to reach for her phone, she pictured her boss calling out her lie and letting her know she would both be fired and blacklisted. She quickly stood up from her bed and began to pace and fidget once more, unwilling to face what she knew was the effective end of her career. Taking a slow, deep breath, she opened the text and breathed a sigh of relief while laughing to herself a little bit.

“Sorry you don’t feel well, take care of yourself and we’ll see you when you’re better. JRM.”

Chapter 2

              Zipping down the highway in her very sensible car, Abbie really appreciated for the first time in a long time the value of a day away from her career. It felt amazing to not be stuck inside her office or answering to people she didn’t feel like answering to. She was finally enjoying the fresh air and sunshine on a beautiful day that had hardly a cloud in the sky. With her window down and hair blowing in the wind behind her, she realized how exhausting it was to live life the way she did.

              It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy her job. She did. And she had worked very hard to get where she was. From her early days in school, she had always been very focused, a trait that had only intensified the farther she got in school. Plus, she had been a perfectionist for as long as she could remember. Even if the smaller details of a project didn’t matter to her boss or to a professor, they mattered to her. Long ago, she accepted that she couldn’t always be the smartest or most talented person in a room, but she also knew that she could work the hardest and the longest.

              It was no secret to her that this mindset is what helped her buckle down and eventually graduate from college near the very top of her class. And it was this mindset that helped her get into a prominent grad school, land a highly desirable internship, turn that internship into a full-time job, and feel financially secure at twenty-nine years old. “But it could certainly be worse,” Abbie thought to herself. “Some people work seventy hours a week to live paycheck to paycheck.”

              Still, she couldn’t shake the thought that it was also this same mindset that played a big part in keeping her single, chained to her work with no crazy stories to tell, a growing bucket list of things she feared she would never accomplish, and years of avoiding risk at all costs and to always be a good girl. The last thing she seemed to want was to ruffle anyone’s feathers. If she were being honest with herself, this day was more than just a long time coming; rather, it was an exodus of sorts, the buildup for which had lasted for years. It certainly wasn’t just the few months during which she tried to work up the courage to ditch work for a day.

              As she drove, she thought about how nice it had been to take her time getting ready that morning. At first, it felt very unnatural. After so many years of forcing herself out the door as quickly as she could, intent on being the first to get into the office, it was as if the very walls of her condo were judging her for moving at a casual pace. She actually took the time to make herself a nice breakfast – something she enjoyed, but rarely took the time for anymore. Before she started cooking, her eyes quickly darted around her room, seemingly waiting to find someone who would judge her for what she was thinking of doing. Feeling slightly angry at herself for allowing her irrational worry to bubble up to the surface, she completely disrobed in the middle of her kitchen.

Stepping out of her clothes, she moved to the fridge, pushing out her bare chest out as she walked as if to convince herself of her confidence. She had barely started getting the ingredients out before the unfamiliar feeling of being nude for no reason other than to be nude swept over her. The feeling was enough to make her feel self-conscious and uncomfortable in her own skin, even by herself and in the privacy of her own home. Already struggling with doubts over completing such a harmless task, she looked down at the pile of clothes on the floor in front of her and considered putting them back on.

              Before she had time to talk herself back into being dressed, she swiftly stepped back to the spot where she had stripped, bent down to swipe her clothes from the floor and carried them to her bedroom on the opposite end of the condo. Moving quickly back to the kitchen and along the windows of her apartment, Abbie slowed down as she felt the sun shine on parts of herself that hadn’t seen the sun in quite some time. “If I can fake being sick, I can walk around naked in my own home,” Abbie thought to herself. Speaking for the first time that day, she looked at her cat and asked, “Who’s going to judge me? A little pervert that spends half his day licking himself?” She laughed to herself, wondering how different the world would be if humans were flexible enough to lick themselves like her cat licked himself. She’s not sure anyone would ever leave their bedrooms if they had that trick up their sleeves.

 It had felt very freeing to cook naked that day, released of all the restraints that clothing brought. As she cooked that day, being nude seemed to make Abbie intimately aware of her entire body. She had rarely been so conscious of the way she moved her legs or turned her hips when she walked. Or the way the air felt as it ran across her bare chest or traveled between her legs. Or the way the back of her legs and her butt tightened as she stretched while reaching for items in the upper shelves of her cupboards. She certainly was aware of how completely exposed she felt as she bent over to get the frying pan.

As she stood there feeling exposed and vulnerable, yet to no one but herself, she couldn’t help but dwell on a time from ten years in her past. Without question, this was one of her favorite memories and came from a time when she was still open with men about what she wanted, sexually. At least she was open by her current standards.

She was in the first semester of her freshman year of college and had just slept with a senior named Tyson the night before. She had been flirting with him at every chance she had for a couple of weeks, hoping he would welcome what she now knew were obvious advances on her part. Through her twenties, she learned that she had not mastered the art of subtle flirtation while in high school.

Regardless, Abbie was happy to find that her efforts weren’t wasted. She had slept with several other guys before Tyson, but in her mind, none compared to him. For one thing, she thought he was extremely attractive. All her previous partners were about her age and still looked like boys, but Tyson looked like a man. Although he was only slightly taller than her, he had a rough, three-day stubble, something that played very well on the dark, sharp features of his face. He had a lean build, but with enough muscle to ensure he maintained the appearance of a well-rounded athlete who could carry a woman to the bedroom and toss her around once there.  

He was also older, which was both new and exciting for her. Maybe it was because she knew he was older, but he struck her as being more mature than the other guys she had dated or slept with before. He was certainly more experienced with women than the other guys she had slept with, but she was most taken by the air of confidence in the way he talked to her. Without fail, it left her thinking about him long after their conversations had ended. She would leave him and wonder what it was about her that could catch the attention of such a sexy, charming guy. An inordinate amount of her time thinking about him, though, was about whether he was as confident and experienced in the bedroom as he appeared out of it… Or whether his dick was as impressive as his toned arm.

When she woke up in his bed late the next morning after finally seducing him, she decided she would make breakfast for the two of them. She was still feeling quite pleased with herself, like screwing him was an accomplishment of sorts. She knew that wasn’t the healthiest way to look at it, but she couldn’t help it.  Part of this feeling was because he hadn’t called her over as a booty call, something that would have still felt satisfying but would have been much less flattering. No, he asked her out on an actual date and seemed genuinely interested in her. When she spoke, his eye contact was piercing and he seemed to hang on every word. When he asked if she wanted to come up to his apartment for a drink, she knew there would be no drinks and quickly agreed. When they found that Dan, Tyson’s roommate, was apparently gone for the night, Abbie didn’t feel compelled to keep her volume down, either.

When Tyson walked into the kitchen the next morning after Abbie had gone in to cook, he was greeted with the surprise of seeing Abbie’s bare back as she stood in front of his open fridge. The counter wrapped around three quarters of the kitchen, effectively preventing him from seeing any part of Abbie that was below the small of her back. Her back muscles were slightly tightened as she stretched for the eggs that were stored on the top shelf, just beyond her reach in the very back of the fridge. The sight was so unexpected that it stopped him dead in his tracks. He quickly recovered and gave a small laugh as he asked her what she was doing. He didn’t see any need to wait for a response before coming out of the hallway and all the way into the kitchen.

Abbie fondly recalled the excited nervousness she felt as she waited for Tyson to come out and discover her like this. Even though she had always struggled to see herself as attractive, she also knew that, objectively, she looked good. Without being a fitness fanatic, she was reasonably athletic and her body showed it. She had always felt that her legs and ass were her best features, a belief that had been reinforced by every guy she had dated or slept with.

When she heard Tyson’s voice from the hallway, Abbie smiled but remained facing the fridge. In her mind, she was sure she was going to respond to him right away with something that was both witty and sexy, but she found that her heart was beating so fast that she wasn’t sure she could get any words out just then. Instead, she lifted herself onto her toes and reached to the back of the fridge for the eggs. Hearing Tyson walk around the counter and into the kitchen, Abbie decided to take her time. She was too nervous to turn and see his face yet, but she pictured that he was standing back, admiring the view. She hoped his eyes were lingering on her legs, calves flexed as she pushed herself upwards, before moving up the back of her legs to her butt. Keeping her legs straight, she unnecessarily pushed her right leg back, causing her butt cheek to flex in a way that she knew was sure to receive attention.

When the eggs were resting safely on the counter, Abbie couldn’t tell which feeling was stronger – her nerves or her excitement. She had never done anything wilder or sexier than this before and was glad she had undressed in the bathroom on the other side of Tyson’s bedroom, leaving her clothes there and far out of reach from the kitchen. Had they been close, she’s sure she would have raced for them as soon as she heard Tyson start making his way to the kitchen.

As it was, she felt even more daring since she still didn’t know where Tyson’s roommate was. Dan didn’t sleep there last night, but for all she knew, he could be ready to walk back into the apartment at any time and see her standing there.

She wasn’t entirely sure she would mind if that happened. Dan didn’t talk to her the way that Tyson did and she didn’t feel butterflies in her stomach when she thought about him. But she couldn’t deny he was hot. So hot that she couldn’t help but think of him as being out of her league. He was several inches taller than her with an easy smile and the well-built physique of a dedicated gym rat. She didn’t think of him as boyfriend material, but if she hadn’t met Tyson, she would have loved to have spent a few sweaty nights in his room. Even while flirting with Tyson, she had pictured how nice it would be to run her hands over his well-muscled back before letting him do anything he wanted with her. With two hot guys sharing one apartment, she readily fantasized about sneaking into Dan’s bedroom to ride on top of him immediately after finishing with Tyson.

Pushing Dan from her mind, Abbie turned and faced Tyson, her heart beating as fast as ever and her face tinged red. She could tell that she was already wet and seeing him made her think about how nice his hands felt on her body the previous night. She looked at Tyson and simply took him in for a moment. His eyes were wide open and his jaw was hanging slightly as his eyes lingered in appreciation. The look on his face instantly caused her nervousness to begin fading, though her pulse continued to race. Even though they already had sex, the lights stayed off and he hadn’t really seen her naked until this moment.

By the time Abbie’s heart had finished skipping a beat, Tyson’s eyes had already dropped down towards her feet and he was nervously biting his upper lip. She kept watching him as his eyes moved upwards, taking in her tan, toned legs before pausing at her midsection. She had been maintaining a landing strip since that summer and had slept with other guys since then, but this was the first time she was witnessing someone silently appreciating that effort. His eyes lingered again on her shiny naval piercing in the middle of her gently visible abs before sliding up past her boobs, nipples still cold and hard from the chill of the fridge. When he reached her face, he hastily returned her smile.

“Wow, I, uh. Um, I… this is, uh. This is great!” Abbie’s heart continued to race as she thought about how hot he was, even with his easy-going confidence replaced by awkwardness and stammering. Actually, she had never seen him so flustered and found it somewhat charming.

Abbie focused on making her voice sound calmer than she felt. “Hey. Did you want something to eat?” She pictured pulling his hair and holding his face in-between her legs after she said this.

Without waiting for a response, she turned back to the eggs and began cracking them into a bowl. As she half-focused on cooking that day, she could still remember how Tyson had quickly regained his confidence and started telling her how beautiful he thought she was. He sat down and watched her, playfully telling her that almost all the ingredients were on the bottom shelf and in the very back of the cupboard or the fridge. Twenty-nine-year-old Abbie would have felt too self-conscious to take directions like that, but nineteen-year-old Abbie dutifully bent over and put on a show.

The attention was satisfying in many ways and left her torn between wanting to take her time teasing him in the nude and wanting to strip his clothes off and ride him just as hard as she did the night before. But the tease was too fun to stop so quickly, and she happily followed his directions on where to find things in the kitchen. Of course she knew the cheese was in the fridge and not the bottom cupboard, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t drop to her hands and knees, arching her back and spreading her legs to check. She also had her doubts that asking him to look closely was going to make her search any more successful. She also very well knew that the salt wasn’t behind him, but she gladly leaned over him to check, repeatedly rubbing her breasts over his face. She wanted to feel more of him, but settled for his hot breath on her stomach. That rush from feeling completely exposed as Tyson took all of her in was exhilarating. Even ten years later, she could still vividly recall how erotic her vulnerability felt as she served a fully clothed man while her clothes were nowhere in sight. She wasn’t sure she could relate to that feeling anymore, but she could at least remember that version of herself.

With the food finally nearly ready to cook, Abbie turned back to the eggs. She felt no shame in being sexual with Tyson that morning and felt no embarrassment from having him see every inch of her body. She didn’t need to wiggle her butt the way she did as she scrambled the eggs, but she was hoping it would make the breakfast treat that much better.

The slow ass shaking seemed to do the trick as she finally felt his hands on her hips seconds after the eggs hit the frying pan. She had wanted his hands on her body for so long that morning already that she was thankful she didn’t have to wait long to feel his hands slide down and squeeze her ass. When he bent his head down to kiss her neck, she closed her eyes and knew that cooking was going to wait. She braced herself with her hands placed firmly on the countertop and leaned slightly forward, keeping her back to Tyson. He kept kissing her neck while massaging her lower back and her butt, squeezing and spreading her cheeks as he rubbed. With his hands on her again, she felt she could stay there all day.

When he squeezed and spread her cheeks again, Abbie pushed herself back into him and felt his hard dick pushing through his shorts. She liked that she could get him hard without even having to touch him. While he slid his hands up to her breasts, she reached back between her legs and grabbed the bulge in Tyson’s shorts, pressing his cock into her. She could tell that he liked the tease – still wearing his shorts and not yet able to penetrate her, but still having his dick rubbed by both her hand and her ass. She was so wet that when she pressed the end of his cock up, she could feel it start to enter her pussy, even with his shorts still on.

Needless to say, the breakfast itself was unspectacular that day. The smell of burning breakfast pulled Abbie from Tyson just long enough for her to reach over and turn the stove off. Turning back, she faced Tyson this time, reaching her hand inside his pants as he put his hands on the sides of her neck to deeply kiss her. She always wondered if he had been close to finishing in his shorts while her hand was wrapped around his dick; he abruptly pushed back, taking her hand out of his shorts before picking her up with ease and placing her on the countertop. Abbie immediately wondered if it was bad that she just left a wet spot on the countertop but was quickly reassured that there were other things on Tyson’s mind as he dropped to his knees and started going down on her. Every movement of his tongue pushed her concern for Tyson’s countertop farther and farther from her mind.

The movement of Tyson’s tongue didn’t push the thought of Dan walking in on them far from her mind, though. That risk lingered in the forefront of her mind. Picturing his surprise as he opened the front door, Abbie wondered if she wanted Dan to strip nude and watch, patiently waiting for his turn. Or would it be better if he wasted no time in working in tandem with Tyson, placing his hands on her body and kissing her as his chiseled torso moved inches above hers? Picturing herself kissing Dan and stroking his dick while Tyson went down on her played a big role in making Abbie cum very quickly. She tightly gripped his hair as her moans echoed through his kitchen, the heat still radiating to their bodies from the stove.

Still holding her legs spread after Abbie’s orgasm had subsided, Tyson stood and finally took his shorts off. With Abbie still reeling from her first orgasm, she leaned back as far as she could until her upper back was leaning against the wall and Tyson was penetrating her in a standing missionary position. The deep penetration was very welcome and something she had been craving since she first stepped out of her clothes in the bathroom that morning. She wrapped her arms around his back and pulled herself forward, pressing her head into his chest. Closing her eyes as he thrusted, she pictured that Dan had returned, opening the door quietly enough to not be noticed and was simply standing in the hallway, watching her near her second orgasm. Lost in that moment and welcoming the risk, she quickly came again.

Abbie never asked Tyson if he found the possibility of Dan catching them as arousing as she did, but she suspected that the answer was “yes.” Her second orgasm of the morning had barely finished before Tyson moaned and quickly pulled out, cumming on her stomach. Tyson’s quick finish was no problem for Abbie at all, but she was surprised since he lasted quite a bit longer the night before.

Indeed, the sex on the night before had been more of a marathon affair. Abbie was surprised to not be sore when she woke up that morning. Still, even though the previous night had involved a lot more sex, at least one extra orgasm, and many more positions, the naked cooking is what she would always think back on. As far as the sex itself? She had had better before and she would have better after, but recalling the situation… Being completely naked with no clothes in sight, cooking for a guy she didn’t know that well, playfully flirting as seduction hung in the air, all with the possibility of getting caught at any moment? That situation happily played itself out in Abbie’s even ten years later.