Erotica Swinging

How Do You Cuckold?

In cuckolding situations where a guy is watching his wife or girlfriend with another guy(s) – who do you prefer he submits to? Or do you even prefer that he’s submissive at all?

Not that porn is exactly a perfect model of reality, but porn always seems to portray cuckolding as though the guy is a weak, pathetic excuse of a man that can’t hang with the bulls. Invariably, he submits to the bull, who is portrayed in a position of being the most dominant one involved, even more than the woman. The woman is usually portrayed as being submissive herself, “giving herself” to a “real” man who can use her however he wants. She might join the bull in verbally abusing the cuckold, but the bull usually is the one who leads.

Everyone can swing their own way, but personally, I think the reality of cuckolding and hotwifing is usually much different. The power dynamic is more-often-than-not one where the woman is in control and calling the shots. The bull is there to do what the couple wants him to do and has the least control over the situation.

This is my own personal preference – both for real life MFMs and porn. I like it when the woman is in charge and is calling the shots over both of the guys or over one while the other just sits back and watches before taking his turn. In my experience, even when a guy gets off on being humiliated, they usually want to be humiliated by the woman – not the other guys.

After situations where the woman is the dominant one, I think it’s more common for the “cuck” to actually be in control. The woman is fucking the other guys at his direction and how he wants it. He’s orchestrating his own “humiliation” at her hands, but it’s really more of a slutwife kind of deal. Of course, there are situations where the extra guy is dominant, either over the woman and in conjunction with the significant other or over both of them. Situations where a couple brings in a guy to humiliate the significant other happen, too, but are just less common.

There are all sorts of variations and there’s no wrong answer as far as what’s preferred and there’s no wrong way to do it as long as everyone is on the same page. It just has always seemed to me that – more than with most genres – this is one area where porn has raced out to an extreme that flips the actual dynamics.

Also, please be sure to check out my works that involve cuckolding and women having sex with more than one man:

Or, if you’re more into the humiliation side of cuckolding, check out:

Strictly Business: Tormenting Tom. Previews and additional links can be found here: All My Works

By aliciastillsauthor

I am a romance and erotica writer and have been publishing my works since May 2020. I'm married with children and work a full-time job, but fill my free time with writing and exploring fantasies with my husband.

Of particular interest to me are genres involving female empowerment, swinging, wife sharing, hotwife and slutwife relationships, MFM threesomes and other group sex, and polyamory. After growing up in an environment that treated all sex as being taboo and immoral, being able to write about and explore various scenarios where one woman is involved with multiple men at once has helped her continue her own journey of self-discovery.

Most of my stories are purely of my own imagination, although many have some degree of inspiration from my own experiences.

4 replies on “How Do You Cuckold?”

I write a fair amount about cuckolding and have also experienced it a few times. I agree with your take on the disparity between how cuckolding is portrayed vs. the reality of this kink. If the men being cucked were really as pathetic as porn scenes make them the woman would have never fallen in love with him or have any need for him. Cuckolding takes place within a loving relationship and the experience (however the couple wants to play it out) is about the couple getting what they need. If the cuck is humiliated, it is because he gets off on that and wants it. I tend to believe the cuckold is actually first in control…especially when the couple is first getting into it. Usually it is the man that initiates the fantasy discussion. The woman may take more control as time goes on and she gets more comfortable with the dynamic.

Liked by 1 person

That’s very fair. The cuckold is very often the one that is first in control and is, in most cases, the one that initiated the cuckolding discussion.

I also think we can get to the point of splitting hairs when trying to determine who is more in control – cuckold or partner – in a lot of situations. Normally, they will have talked about what they want to get out of the situation and agreed upon what they’re comfortable with, not comfortable with, etc., and either one of them can end an encounter if they need to. When I cuckold my husband, I’m only doing things that we both know he likes/wants, even if I also like everything and I’m the one that is taking the action to actually do them. Still, if he said “stop” or set a new rule, I’d stop or follow the new rule.

Liked by 1 person

Totally agree with the splitting hairs. The couple engages in what they feel comfortable with and what makes them both hot. The reality is a lot different than how porn portrays cuckolding…which is often much femdom driven.


[…] *A note before I go on: I’m going to use cuckolding and hotwifing together here, even though porn has bastardized the term cuckolding so that it invokes images of women mocking their husbands as pathetic, small-dicked and utterly incapable of pleasing them, and therefore, undeserving of affection. However, I’m using cuckolding in the traditional sense, which doesn’t necessarily include any level of degradation, contrived or otherwise. It’s just the practice of a woman sleeping with another man with the approval of her husband. But there are multiple ways to do it. […]


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