Super Bowl Pornography?

Sometimes, I just can’t.

Tons of news stations are reporting on this little tidbit of news of the weird where an Ohio man is threatening to sue the NFL, Pepsi, and whoever else he can think of for “pumping” what he feels constitutes pornography into the homes of football fans everywhere.

Why wouldn’t we expect an attention-seeking fanatical whatever-he-is to produce a publicity stunt where he gets bent out of shape over the halftime show? I mean, it seems that this is the type of world we live in now. Getting offended and threatening legal action is practically as American as the Superbowl.

Honestly, as soon as I saw the midriffs we were all expecting to see and J-Lo spinning on a pole, I knew the anti-porn folks would be up in arms and crying over the safety of our children. The sight of Shakira and Jennifer Lopez in concert is enough to make any “God-fearing” person “get sexually excited.” And we certainly wouldn’t want that. If there’s one danger to the world, it’s humans experiencing sexual excitement, particularly at the sight of popstars dancing while wearing more clothes than your average beachgoer.

Maybe we weren’t watching it as closely as we should have been, but my husband and I didn’t notice the “crotch shots” being complained of here. I kinda feel like I missed out now. We just thought it was a mildly entertaining and highly overrated halftime show, much like every year.

But, wow! If he thinks the halftime show constituted pornography, real porn would blow his mind.