My husband, for one, can put a dog’s greeting to shame. We’ve been together for twelve years now and I don’t think I’ve ever been on all fours and had him do any less than press his face in my ass.
I’m not a whole lot better. I knew everyone in my high school class merely by the view of his or her ass by the time we graduated.
I just came across this yesterday, but a convention all about butts went off in Manhattan last August and I, for one, am sad that I’ve never been to such a thing. It all sounds so ridiculous and awesome and just what the world needs right about now.
Porn stars? Anal rejuvenation surgeons? Professional cake sitters (I guess that’s a thing)? Cosmetic butt surgeons, twerking classes, and more?
Maybe when the world opens up again….
You can see more of what we missed out on here: https://buttcon.splashthat.com/
We have a pretty decent collection of toys, so I’ll take a little break from my reviews after this one. But next up is the Crystal Jelly Anal Delight butt plug we purchased!
With quarantine and practicing social distancing, my husband and I haven’t had anyone join us in quite some time, even though we both would enjoy a good threesome right about now. To that end, we purchased a new butt plug, to the dimensions pictured above.
To start, I’ll say that I’m not a big fan of anal. It can be fun if my partner is going slowly, warming me up, and making sure my body has a chance to take it up the ass as long as it’s something that we’re doing only once in a while. It can hurt a little bit and I generally don’t enjoy the feeling of having something in my butt. I’ve been double penetrated more than a small handful of times, though, and it almost always gives me a better orgasm. I’ve never found that being DP’ed is more likely to be slightly painful than regular anal, but it does make sex feel far more intense and magnifies the feeling of the guy in my pussy.
I have three other butt plugs, which are all stainless steel gem plugs of varying size that I got in a three pack years ago. I think they’re fun little additions, but they’re also very short and don’t do much in terms of simulating double penetration.
This, however, is different. With about 5 inches of plug that can be inserted, it fills me pretty deeply. When I wear this while having sex with my husband, it definitely mimics the feeling of being double penetrated much more than the gem plugs we have. I also think the material itself is more comfortable than the steel. This is soft and squishy and much more… forgiving, inside of you. Unlike the steel, there is some “give” when your body pushes against these.
Also, it stays in place really well and doesn’t shift when changing positions or start to slide out during sex. That happens occasionally with the other plugs.
As for the drawbacks, I don’t think this was accurately described. I saw it advertised in multiple places and the manufacturer likes to say that this is great for beginners. Frankly, I beg to differ. This looks relatively intimidating when you take it out of the packaging. At it’s thickest point – the fifth bump, it’s about as thick as a real cock. In my opinion, that makes it not ideal for beginners.
Additionally, in addition to being long, the tapering is minimal between bumps until you get the whole thing inserted. It’s pitched as though you can just use a little bit, depending on personal preference, but I don’t see how that’s realistic. Maybe you could only use four bumps instead of all five, but I think you would need to use at least four. Even once you get the fifth bump inserted, it doesn’t taper all that much. It stays in, for sure, but I like how the gem plugs taper more. For me, anal is only uncomfortable at that point of insertion, so the smaller it tapers down to, the more comfortable it tends to be.
Obviously, cocks don’t taper, but they also don’t usually stay five inches deep into your ass. The end result was that it makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable with how permanently full it leaves me feeling.
Overall, 3 of 5 stars. I like the material and I generally like the length, but I would prefer something shorter and something that tapered a little more. Perhaps anal beads would be more my style.
Restrained to the Bed.
Or anywhere else you choose for that matter.
The actual restraints we purchased were from Adam & Eve, but it is now out-of-stock and not showing on their website currently. But it was very similar to this: https://www.amazon.com/Trinity-Vibes-AB691-Bedroom-Restraint/dp/B0073JVY9C (note: I am not an Amazon affiliate and make no money from posting links). We debated for a while about what kind of restraints to go with and were considering something like this and a hogtie option. We went with this one, thinking that it would be more comfortable over longer stretches than a system that keeps one of us hogtied.
I could still go either way, but overall, I like the restraint system. The cuffs can be made to be pretty tight around either the ankles or wrists, but they’re soft enough to not chafe or get uncomfortable. I like that either one of us can be stuck there, but not in a way that hurts.
Some of the reviews said that you needed a headboard and a footboard in order to make these work since you needed something to attach the restraints to. So we were a little bit worried about that when we ordered since we only have a headboard. However, that didn’t apply and we were able to attach these just fine. The restraints were long enough to easily reach the headboard, as well as go all the way under the mattress and box spring to tie to the legs on the bedframe. We’ve used them a few times just to experiment with what we prefer, and they are long enough to remove the slack and pull the arms and legs away from the body so the person getting tied up can’t move and flail much. We can also leave enough space so they can bring the arms/legs closer to the body.
My husband prefers to have me spread more, When he gave me more freedom and tickled me, I was still able to flail around enough to give him some problems.
It’s a little annoying to have to get down and tie these, due in part to having to move two side tables. If you don’t have to worry about kids or others going into your bedroom and seeing the restraints on your bed, I guess it isn’t an issue, but we need to take them down every time we use them. BUT, annoying or not, I don’t really see how it could be changed. If it was just a strap that could have its length altered once connected/tied, I would be concerned that the length wouldn’t vary by as much as we’d like and I’d worry that it would slip. So it’s a minimal issue.
It also worked great when I cuffed my husband to the playset in our backyard, which I described in my last post. The length of the straps let me string him up like a sexy, naked marionette puppet, leaving his arms slightly elevated as the rest of his body hung below until I brought him back to life 20 minutes later with the whip and my mouth.
Overall, I rate this 5 of 5 due to the versatility in placement and ability to lengthen or shorten the straps as desired. The comfort level is also much higher than anything we had used in the past. It also came with a blindfold, which we do not care about it. Which is good because it doesn’t stay on very securely, even when we put it on just because it was in the box.
Chains and Whips Excite Me
Well. Sort of. It was something to try, anyway. We went with the Scarlet Couture Beat Me Please whip, which we got through Adam and Eve.
I hadn’t ever seriously considered purchasing a whip like this, but with my husband and I dabbling a little bit in me dominating him as part of me withholding his orgasm, it seemed like a good purchase. Prior to getting the whip, I had only jokingly spanked him a handful (no pun intended) of times. Using my hand was okay, but I had always preferred to have an item to do the spanking. I’ve used a belt two or three times, but the belts were kind of stiff and didn’t leave for much control. More than anything, the belts felt awkward in my hand and I had a difficult time knowing exactly how hard I was hitting him.
This was much different. It wasn’t the most hardcore whip we could have chosen as others were described as providing a much larger “bite,” but it also wasn’t the weakest. The description was that it provided a good sound and just enough of a smack so your partner would feel it.
We found that was pretty accurate. It feels good in my hand and I think it’s a lot of fun just to crack the whip, both for the feeling and to hear the sound. It’s easy to know how hard I’m whipping my husband, and, I can hit him fairly hard without it providing too much of a sting.
We aren’t big into pain by any means, but delivering a whip with this is a lot of fun for me and makes my husband get a little hard. The last time we used it was when we wrapped up eight days of me withholding his orgasm. I tied him to the playset in our backyard in the nude at nighttime (our yard is private enough to not have to worry about neighbors when it’s dark) and left him there for twenty minutes. When I came back, I whipped him with this toy before getting on my knees and giving him a blowjob while he was still restrained.
Overall, 5 of 5 stars, primarily because it fit what we were looking for pretty perfectly. It’s comfortable, feels good in the hand, makes a great sound, and delivers just a little bit of pain. People who can’t handle any sting wouldn’t like it and people who want something that will leave a solid mark the next day may be looking for something more punishing, but this is right at our level.
If you’re like my husband and I, you’ve been going a little stir-crazy with extended stay-at-home orders. Working from home, zoom meetings, home schooling, no babysitters, no date nights outside the house, and limited interactions with anyone outside your immediate family is making you feel antsy and a little on edge. A brief, hurried trip through the grocery store is something to look forward to because at least it’s something different.
To help keep things interesting, my husband and I have gotten a few more sex toys to experiment with. We have to have something out of the ordinary to keep us sane…
One of the new activities we’ve been playing around with since March is orgasm control. Three times now, I’ve spent a week or more teasing my husband, bringing him close to the edge before denying him his orgasm. He hasn’t denied me mine and we had several nights where all he did was serve me. So I can’t complain about this new way to play and he’s already looking forward to the next time we give this a go.
To that end, we bought a cock cage, exactly like the one pictured above. The Master Series Detained Soft Body Chastity Cage. We thought it would be a fun little item to incorporate into this type of play and help me tease him and deny him all at once. We debated about which type to get and settled on the soft body one. A metal one that had a literal lock just seemed too hardcore for us right away.
Our review? Zero stars. Sure, he said it was comfortable enough to wear for long periods of time, but that was about the only positive thing to say about it. It’s hard to put on. You definitely need lube in order for it to slide on. And its not all that easy to wrap around the balls to hold it in place. In fact, once around the balls, the design of it had it sliding downwards, which didn’t matter for comfort, but it did mean that the inch or two of his shaft closest to his body wasn’t in the cage. It was like the designers forgot that taints exist.
But what was really disappointing was that it didn’t do anything to restrict his boner. When he got hard, it just stretched out the body of the cage. He said that it didn’t even make it uncomfortable. I even started to blow him to see if that would make it uncomfortable, but he said it was just like he was wearing an extra-thick condom. Which obviously dulled the sensation, but still felt kind of good.
Granted, it had been a week since he came last, though. I had kept him hard for hours and hours since his last orgasm. Anything would have felt at least kind of good.
Anyway, this was far-and-away our least successful attempt at something new and a complete waste of money. Maybe we would have hated a harder cage, too, but this soft one is a complete waste of money. I have no idea who would have gotten anything out of it.
It seems that you always hear about threesomes that someone else has had that just happened naturally. Three people or a couple and another person meet at a party and really hit it off. Or three close friends who hang out all the time. No planning. No discussing beforehand. Just feeling the mood and the moment and retiring to a bedroom to get it on.
Does that really happen for people? Because my husband and I have both had more than our fair of threesomes, but we’ve never experienced a spontaneous group hookup.
Perhaps we’re too cautious, but it just seems like too much could go wrong. Even with planning and discussing before some of our experiences, we’ve had people “forget” about certain boundaries that had been set. I have to imagine that the chances of crossing a line is much more likely if there are multiple people and that line isn’t entirely clear.
It’s fun to fantasize about, though. I would love to casually hang out with a couple of guys and have it spontaneously turn into an “all hands on deck to please Alicia” kind of a night that goes off without a hitch.
Part of it is probably that I don’t think I’d ever want to try something like that with someone I already know. I know that’s what some people prefer, but I just worry too much that they wouldn’t be into it and it would be weird that we brought it up. Or that they were into it, but things still got weird afterwards.
The only time I’ve even seen a completely random threesome take off was one time at a frat party in college. Which is completely stereotypical, so I don’t know. Maybe there is something to the depiction in TV and movies. But I went there with a friend of mine, two girls I didn’t know, and two guys that were acquaintances. The two girls were absolutely hammered by the time we even got in the car to go. We only had room for five people in the car, but one of the drunk girls laid across three of us in the backseat.
After talking about how her boyfriend was in the military overseas, she told us that he just wanted her to be happy, so she could have sex with as many people as she wanted. The guy friend of mine who was driving asked her if he actually told her it was okay for her to screw other people, or if she was just assuming. She told us it was neither – she just knew it was true. Then she offered my other guy friend a blowjob for the rest of the drive since her head was already in his lap.
Anyway, the party was gross – most of it in a small basement with concrete walls while dudes tried to fingerbang any girl with a pulse. But not terribly long before I left, I watched as the two drunk girls made out with the same guy at the same time on the dance floor before going up to his room.
So, I mean, I know it happens. It just hasn’t been my experience.
And if threesomes are your thing, please make sure you check out my threesome books:
Or, more simply put, does the old adage of “you want what you can’t have” hold true for porn and fantasy purposes?
Obviously, everyone is different, but I’m not really sure what tends to be more common. When I was still in grad school, I heard from several guys that they never understood the appeal of cheerleaders while they were in high school or college, but now that they were older, cheerleaders were inherently sexy. Now that they were never around them and had no real access to them, cheerleaders went from being seen as a stupid fantasy to being very desirable.
I’ve heard similar things with MILF and cougar fantasies. MILF fantasies were much more popular for guys when they were young, but not so much once they entered the same age brackets as the MILFS. And cougar fantasies didn’t pick up for women until they were old enough to be cougars on the prowl for early twenty-somethings.
And, would states that tend to be religious/socially conservative stop being towards the top of porn consumption if porn were seen as more acceptable instead of being vilified?
It all just made me wonder if the idea of wanting what you can’t have applied more broadly as well. For me, it tends not to be the case. As far as what I’m attracted to and like to fantasize about, it’s generally stayed consistent. And age-wise, when I was much younger, the idea of being attracted to a man in his mid-thirties or older was laughable. But my preferences have evolved along with me so that my own age group is the age group I prefer; the idea of being attracted to a twenty-year-old no longer fits.
And, as always, please check out my first published work, Hooky, available on Amazon.
Has weed ever made any of you picture that someone else has two buttholes? Story below.
I’m sure many of you will be partaking in some 4/20 festivities today. I mean, we’re all pretty well quarantined, so not much else to do, right?
Weed still isn’t legal where I live yet, so unfortunately, my husband and I won’t be indulging today, even though the time we got high together was a lot of fun. We aren’t sheltered, sexually, but we are in other ways, I suppose.
We took a trip to California for a destination wedding this past winter and left the kids with the grandparents back home. There were a few dispensaries near where we were staying, but that isn’t even what got us to finally give in. We were hanging out in one of the pools when we were joined by four older guys who explained that they always took a couples trip that weekend every year. They stayed and chatted with me for a while, much to my husband’s amusement. I don’t know what it is about me, but guys over 40 can’t seem to help but come over to talk to me. By the time they’re one drink in, I usually hear that I look like Sandra Bullock.
But anyway, these guys didn’t disappoint and it didn’t take long before their respective wives and girlfriends were sitting around the pool and shooting daggers at me with their eyes. Oh well. I’ve gotten used to it. The only thing as consistent as guys over 40 flirting with me is their wives hating me for it. At least now I know that a couple of hits off a joint makes guys tell me I look like Sandra Bullock, too.
These guys were quickly getting the push to get cleaned up so they could go out to dinner and bar hop, though, so they started to move. But they had spent a lot of time talking about how we were missing out on getting high and we weren’t surprised when one of the guys ducked into his room and came back with two joints for us.
The guys had talked about how this guy grew the weed himself and you could tell he was very proud of himself. We were fully aware that it was ballsy to smoke weed that complete strangers had handed to us, but this is what made us finally give it a try. There were a few dispensaries near where we were staying, but it still felt… wrong, like we needed to hide it.
We didn’t hide it, though, and smoked the joints later that night on the patio of the resort we were at. We even stopped feeling paranoid about it after ten or so people passed by us without caring at all.
Once we felt nice and high (which is something that, frankly, I just wasn’t expecting to enjoy) we went back to our room. My didn’t talk and my husband was naked by the time the door shut behind us. He pulled my clothes off as fast as he ever has and picked me up and carried me to the bed. He positioned my head at the edge of the bed and leaned his body over mine. I started to slide my body into position to suck his cock, but he surprised me by picking me up off the bed.
That is the first and only time we have ever done a standing 69. I thought it would be harder to do and that I would be nervous about him dropping me, but I didn’t have a care in the world. I have no idea how long we were in that position, but the feeling was so much better than normal, I couldn’t believe it.
At some point, he laid me back down on the bed and we continued 69’ing with him laying and me on top of him. Again, I have no idea how long we stayed like that, but I remember thinking that it felt like he had two – and possibly three – tongues. It felt like he was circling my clit, going up and down the rest of my pussy, and rimming me simultaneously.
I don’t keep track of my all-time best orgasms, but the one I had while we 69’ed was definitely one of the best of my life. My husband confirmed that it was several times longer than any “normal” orgasm of mine and it was as powerful as any I can remember. But the best part of it for me is that my clit always gets so sensitive after I cum that I don’t want it touched anymore. My husband usually likes to tease me by holding me down and continuing to go down on me after I cum because he likes it when I struggle to break away from me, but it still felt great and I came again a few minutes later and one more time a few minutes after that. When my husband got behind me, I came two more times, one right after the other before he pulled out and shot his load so far that most of it went over my shoulder. I usually only cum twice during sex – once from oral and once from penetration (maybe I’ll get a third during penetration), so this was unusual for me.
Anyway, then we watched TV and ate chips and marshmallow pies, convinced we would be obese if we were regular pot smokers. When we weren’t high anymore, my husband told me what I already knew – the sex was a lot better than normal for him, too. But then he told me that while he was going down on me, he was pretty sure that I had two buttholes.
I asked him if that was weird at the time and he told me, “no.” It wasn’t weird, he said, but it was frustrating that he couldn’t push both of them together. He said he kept using his tongue to try to close one of the buttholes – like it was a flap – until it covered the other one, returning me to normal. “Two buttholes just meant I had to eat them both,” he would tell me.
We took a trip to a dispensary the next day and bought edibles. The guy working there didn’t flinch when my husband described the high we had and that he thought I had two buttholes, just solemnly nodding before telling us we probably had an indica blend of some sort. We settled on trying sativa to get a fuller experience, but it just didn’t compare. It was alright. It just wasn’t anything special.
Anyway, I’m sure we’ll try again when we have a chance, but for now, we’ll just have to look back at the one time we did get high together.
Some bonus pics below. **None of them are of me. If they are yours and you’d like either credit or a removal, please let me know.
I understand most fetishes that are out there. It doesn’t mean that I’m turned on by all of the different fetishes that are out there, but at some level, I at least understand the appeal and why they exist. I get it. At least as much as I can.
But I’ve never been able to wrap my head around foot fetishes. Which is a little surprising since it seems to be one of the more common fetishes out there. I just don’t know what it is about feet that turns some people on. And is it specifically women’s feet or men’s feet or does it matter? What makes one person’s feet sexier than another person’s? And do you need to see the person to be attracted to the feet?
I had a friend that went to grad school in a different part of the country, but she ended up dating a mutual guy friend of ours while there. She let it slip that he had a foot fetish, resulting in almost all bedroom play revolving to some degree around her feet. I asked her to explain what the appeal of it all was, but even she didn’t get it, even after indulging in his fetish for months.
I dunno. Most people seem to have fetishes for somewhat personal, individualized reasons, so I wouldn’t expect there to be a quick and easy answer. I just wish something about it “clicked” for me.
Alicia Stills Author: Erotica and Fantasy 