What kind of rules should be in place you start to swing?
I see this question a lot when couples are looking at starting to open up their relationship and bring others into the bedroom with them. And boy, wouldn’t it make things simple if there was just an easy, ready-to-go set of rules that applied equally well to every couple?
And you absolutely, 100% have to give full effect to what your partner wants. Even if you have prior swinging experience and know what worked for you in an earlier relationship, a different partner means it’s a whole new ball game. Things might have changed for you, too, now that you’re older and are in a different point of your life. What you wanted/did want five years ago may not be the same now.
Ultimately, you both will need to figure out what you want to get out of the experience and what’s off-limits. Will you bring in men/women/couples and will you both play or will one watch/wait at home? Are you looking just for sex with other people, or are you going to start thinking about toeing that line with poly? You also need to agree on where to find a partner, how frequently you would want to swing, safety precautions, and anything else either of you are concerned about.
Basically, the rules can be and should be whatever you both agree to, don’t do anything that isn’t okay with your partner, and make sure you are always clearly communicating with one another. The more you talk about what you want to do/don’t want to do beforehand, the better you’ll understand each other going in. And that conversation should be ongoing. Feelings can change and each you can learn more about what you like or dislike.
For most people, it’s nothing like porn. A husband doesn’t just come home and find his wife having sex with a stranger, shrug his shoulders, and promptly get naked and DP her. And a wife doesn’t listen to her husband perv on the kid’s babysitter and go “Oh, that’s so cute! I’m going to sit on her face while he plows her!”
But anyway.
As always, please check out my hotwifing/cuckolding/multi-partner works.
It’s been a while since my last post. Yeesh. I’m almost embarrassed to look back and see how long it’s been.
Sorry. Life happens and I just got busy. It didn’t mean I quit working on things.
On that note, I’m excited to announce that my latest book will be available shortly. Like Strictly Business: Tormenting Tom, it will only be available on Amazon and will be enrolled in KDP Select. I plan on expanding to other retailers after the first enrollment, but this is where you can find it for the first 90 days.
The pre-order is now live (releasing 7/3/21) and you can find my book on Amazon!
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August 14, 10:07 p.m.
It was dark, save for a sliver of light cutting sharply into the room through a crack in the bedroom door. Not enough to light the inside of the closet, though, leaving him to sit in darkness, unable to do more than steady his eyes on the strip of light running along the carpet on its way to the foot of the bed. All he could do was strain his ears against the silence and fixate on the light, hoping for any indication that she had returned.
He knew her schedule as well as anyone. Better, actually. Perhaps even better than her. He knew the sound of the garage door opening would rattle through the house soon. From there, he would have ninety seconds, give or take a few, before she made the short trek down the hall and into the bedroom. That’s when his real work would begin.
He had fantasized about doing this so many times before, but he had never been this nervous in his fantasy. Now that he was actually crouching, the silence and the shadows his only companions, it finally felt real. Real enough to make his thoughts race so quickly that everything felt like a blur.
Still, even through the blur, he knew that if he were going to be discovered, it would be right away. A wandering eye taking in the room, peering through a crack in the closet door before locking in on him. He had to stay still and silent, right up until it was time to make his presence known. If he were to be discovered prematurely, it would make things… uncomfortable, to say the least. And not at all how he wanted this night to unfold.
But as he sat back in the darkness, his nerves only made him more excited. His heart raced and his breathing was heavy and uneven, both seeming to echo loudly around inside of him as he listlessly ran his fingers along the silken material inside one of the plastic tubs stacked next to his body. He didn’t need to open the drawer to know it was where she kept her lingerie. He knew before he entered that night, but the texture of the most intimate clothing she owned left little doubt about what he was touching. The smooth fabric felt nice on his skin. As nice as her skin would feel on mine, he thought.
The mechanical sound of turning gears opening the garage door made him jump. Images of her body bending to his will were shoved from his mind, replaced by a picture of himself in her kitchen, clearly positioned to watch her walk in. When he closed his eyes, he could clearly envision what she looked like. Straight, shiny brown hair that she wore down, tan skin, lean, athletic body. She was wearing the skin-tight jeans and low-cut black top from earlier that day, still showing off just a hint of her stomach and an inviting amount of cleavage. By the time he heard the door open, he was already hard. Everything had been building up this for a long time. As he anxiously waited to hear her again, he realized that he needed this buildup. Touching her later wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying without it.
As he listened in anticipation, he finally heard what he had so desperately been waiting for. Her voice carried into the bedroom, buzzed, light, and flirty. As beautiful as ever, he thought to himself. But there was something else there, too. There was too much movement for it to be just her, and she wouldn’t be talking to herself. The blood had already drained from his face before he heard him speak.
His voice was deep and masculine. When he heard it respond to her just beyond the bedroom door, he sat back deeper in the closet, certainly not wanting to be discovered now. He knew it had been possible that she wouldn’t return alone. There had always been the chance of that. He just couldn’t believe tonight was the night she brought home company.
As more light from the hallway spilled into the bedroom, he could see her again, finally. She was a welcomed sight, even as she was leading a new man to her bed. A tall, muscular man that would certainly tower over the one hiding in the closet.
Trapped, and almost too nervous to breathe, he had nothing to do but wait.
Which brings up another good question: If you’re a woman and you want to be a hotwife, how can you bring that up to your husband or boyfriend? Can it even be done successfully?
Just because it doesn’t seem to happen successfully very often, that doesn’t mean that I think it can’t be done successfully. I just think that it presents new difficulties. Namely, you have to be able to do it in a way that doesn’t make your partner feel threatened. After all, it’s only natural for a man to worry he is inadequate once his partner brings up the idea of a relationship that is only open on her side.
I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on the matter, but I think I have enough experience to have a few decent ideas. Let me know your thoughts, or, if you’re a woman, how you’ve had success in the past.
Take It Slow
I think the biggest thing to avoid doing is to just sit your husband down and bluntly come right out and say that you want to be a hotwife. I know, I know – open and honest communication is key, especially with something like this. However, I think you run the risk of really putting your partner off if you approach it like that. You’ll have a harder time with helping him realize that he wants this too if he feels attacked and gets defensive. Bring it along slowly and let him warm up to the idea at his own pace. Perhaps he’ll be ready to jump right into it. Or perhaps he’ll need some time for the idea to grow on him.
I want to be clear that you certainly don’t want to mislead him at all, and you certainly don’t want to approach this in a way that manipulates him in any way. This is really about being honest, while also remaining tactful and giving him the time he needs to get over any socializations against wifesharing he might already have. Some men are huge babies about this sort of thing and will throw a tantrum at the idea. If this isn’t something that you absolutely need to have in your relationship, but is more something you would like to try, approaching this slowly might help avoid some ugliness if he’s the type that will never be open to MFM or hotwifing.
Work Hotwifing/Cuckolding Into Conversation
So how do you slow play something like this? I think that if you can start a dialogue of some sort about the topic without directly addressing that this is something you want to be doing, it can get him thinking about the topic on his own. Make a joke or two about MFM threesomes. It’s lighthearted, nonthreatening, and it can soften him up to the whole idea.
Watch MFM or Wifesharing Porn
So what if you can’t really naturally bring the topic up or make a joke to get the the subject out there? One obvious way would be to watch porn together. Make sure it isn’t the ridiculous, over-the-top kind of porn where the husband is being ridiculed or degraded in ways that only porn does, but something that reflects the more welcoming kind of thing you would more realistically want to be doing.
And don’t try to hide it. Again, it can make him start thinking about the idea without it feeling pushed onto him or threatening him. It lets him get comfortable with the possibility at his own pace, and it lets him see that the idea is a turn on for you.
Know Why You Want to be a Hotwife
I think this one is very important. You don’t need to come at him with a bullet point list of the reasons why you want to be a hotwife. Actually, I think that would be weird and off-putting.
However, you should know what about the practice appeals to you and you should be able to explain it to him. Hopefully none of the reasons are that it’s because you find him to be sexually incompetent. If you do think he’s bad in bed, that’s probably a different conversation the two of you should be having. I would keep this one focused on all of the reasons why being a hotwife is appealing that don’t involve getting better sex (at until/unless you know that’s a turn on for him).
And there are plenty. If nothing else, I think that all men understand the appeal of a threesome. No one questions that literally all straight men would have sex with two women at once. It’s tough for men to seriously argue that they don’t understand how the inverse wouldn’t apply for women as well. You should also know what exactly you’re interested in doing since there are multiple ways to be a hotwife.
Know What Benefits He Would Get From It
Many men find there are many benefits to being a cuckold (or stag, if you prefer). He can probably figure out most of the benefits himself, especially since they can vary from person to person. But it would be good for you to know what you think he would enjoy about the situation by the time the conversation comes up.
Be Confident
And don’t apologize for having completely normal sexual desires if it comes to that. There’s nothing wrong with a woman wanting to have sex with more than one man and you should be able to acknowledge that fact without feeling like you should be ashamed. No one is going to make a man feel ashamed because he thinks that an FMF threesome is sexy, so why should a woman be ashamed at thinking an MFM threesome is sexy?
Make Sure He Knows He is Still Your Number One
If you’re trying to do this as a way to fill a void in your relationship or you feel there are other big problems that this would be helping you cover up, you probably aren’t going to be set up to succeed as a hotwife. Assuming your relationship is going well, I would say that you should also make sure that he knows that nothing that would happen would make him replaceable. As it is put here:
You want to be able to provide honest reassurance that he is still your number one and that you won’t do anything that makes him uncomfortable. It would be best if you also were willing to give your word that he can withdraw his agreement at any time.
And that’s it! Hopefully some combination of the above will work for you, because I’m always in support of more people engaging in MFM threesomes. Of course, if you prefer to just jump right in flatly tell your partner that you want to have sex with other men, be my guest. I think you’re not likely to have that go well, but I could certainly be wrong.
So you want to swing, but you aren’t sure if your partner feels the same. It can be an uncomfortable topic to bring up with your partner the first time. Something to induce the nerves, at least.
Even if you’re pretty sure that your partner has the same interests as you, putting it out there can make you question just how sure you are that you’re right. And if you have no idea? It’s enough to make you squirm. Even if a desire to swing is extremely common, no one wants to make their partner worry that you think they’re inadequate.
And therein lies one of the most common questions. Who is the first one to bring up hotwifing or cuckolding, or just swinging in general? The man or the woman? I’m focusing on M/F couples, predominantly straight here. The dynamics can change quite a bit with same sex couples.
In my experience, it’s the man that brings up a hotwife or cuckold fantasy first, and I know that I’m not alone on that. In fact, I had to really dig to find examples of women online who were the first to bring the subject up, at least successfully.
There could be many reasons for that, but really, I think most men feel threatened by that kind of request from the woman they’re seeing, even if it is a turn on for them. It can feel emasculating and threatening, but not in the good, exciting way. After all, if a man wants a hotwife because he gets off on the degradation aspect, it’s a contrived degradation. It’s just all a part of role play that’s part of being in what’s seen as a safe and secure relationship.
And it’s hard to blame them for that, really. It’s only natural to feel like a woman would only be asking for permission to screw other men because she sees her partner as inadequate. That’s likely not the case, but it’s a completely normal thought.
No, almost all of the articles and accounts I’ve seen involve the man broaching the topic first. At least when it’s been successful. And it’s usually taken a little bit of persuasion before the woman comes around.
I don’t think I’ve ever met a couple where the woman is a hotwife where she was the one to bring it up, either. I did know a woman in college who brought it up to her boyfriend. It didn’t go well, even though he was into it. He thought she was just cheating and eyeing a threesome with a guy she was seeing on the side and didn’t take to her suggestion well.
It didn’t help that he was right, even if his being right didn’t affect his initial reaction.
Does anyone have a different experience where the woman brought it up first with success?
It just seems that there is so much misunderstanding about wifesharing, hotwifing, cuckolding, etc., that adding in extra insecurities when the woman brings it up first makes it that much more difficult.
As always, please check out my hotwifing/cuckolding works. The On His Orders series is racy; Hooky is on the tamer side. Enjoy!
Specifically, if you have a threesome with two women and a man (FMF), are you now obligated to have a threesome with two men and a woman (MFM)?
To me, the answer is an obvious “no,” but I’ve seen quite a few people and sites say otherwise. In order to be “equal,” you have to do both kinds of threesomes “for” your partner. I can’t find it anymore, but I remember hearing Channing Tatum talk about it years ago, saying something along the lines of, “well, yeah, a threesome with two women is great, but remember, you have to give her a threesome with two guys afterwards, so be ready for that.”
I think that view is absolutely bonkers. No wonder so many people have failed threesome attempts. If this is how you understand the dynamics of group sex to be, you really aren’t cut out for it, in my opinion. There are just so many problems with viewing sex through that kind of prism that it can be difficult to even begin addressing how wrong it is. I’ll take a crack at it, though.
First, threesomes and any other kind of swinging as a couple has to be something that both partners want to do. If one partner really doesn’t want to add a third person – even if I think they should be open to trying it out to see how fun it can be – they shouldn’t. And their partner should respect that. It doesn’t mean they can’t explore it again in the future, but you can’t get involved if one person isn’t interested.
Second, and related, is that you aren’t having a threesome “for” your partner. Your having a threesome with your partner as part of a mutual desire to have one. If a couple has an FMF threesome, it should be because both the man and the woman wanted to add another woman to the mix. Neither one should be able to say sometime in the future that their partner owes them an MFM because they did FMF “for” the other. No, you did FMF because you both wanted to. Neither of them gets to say that they had a threesome for the other because they both wanted it. Even if one of them had a greater interest in FMF than the other. And, of course, the inverse is true – just interchange FMF for MFM.
Third, if the above isn’t the case and one person was only having a threesome in order to use that as leverage over the other, that’s really shitty. I mean, really, really shitty. That’s sexual coercion and isn’t fair to your partner. If my husband had only been having MFMs with me in order to make me feel obligated to give him an FMF, I would have felt entirely violated, even if I did want to have an FMF with him.
Fourth, viewing sexual relationships and bringing extra partners into bed with you as being so tit-for-tat is an extremely and overly simplistic way to view equality. If you have FMF you have to have MFM, or vice versa, is a child-like way to think about equality in the complex relationships that adults have. It just doesn’t compare to “Well, Jane had a turn with Toy A, so now John gets a turn with Toy A” like we tell our toddlers when they argue.
But, if you want to check out some of my works where the couples are happily having threesomes and foursomes, please check out the below:
I find myself considering the topic of race as it relates to interracial cuckolding a lot. Every time I think about it, I can’t get past the issue of what role, exactly, race plays in the situations. Far too often, the sentiment behind the image at the top of this post is too relevant for my liking.
I’ll start by saying that I have absolutely no issues with interracial relationships, attraction to certain races over others, or anything like that. Everyone is entitled to be attracted to whatever feature it is that they prefer. Many people are more attracted to certain races, and (since it’s not 1960), I fully support that.
But… I do have to question the motivation behind interracial cuckolding.
Perhaps some will disagree with me about the depictions made in porn, but I don’t think there’s much of a question that the pornography industry plays heavily on racist tropes. Innocent-looking woman being taken by a “thug,” particularly groups of thuggish black men. Latina women playing the role of subservient maid. Racist language throughout. Differences in race being fetishized and highlighted throughout the scene. There’s more on that here: Interracial Cuckold Porn, as well as many other sources. And others have noted that – specifically in relation to the cuckold genre – cuckold scenes very frequently feature a black man as the bull and a white man being cucked, whereas the inverse is very rarely true.
Why is that?
All I keep coming back to is that it’s a continuation of racist depictions that naturally play into the cuckolding desires. Many men enjoy being cuckolded due to the humiliation factor involved in the practice. There’s also an aspect of role reversal that can be a turn on.
Even though there are quite a few reasons why men want to be cuckolded by their partner, humiliation is the one that most people focus on, particularly in the porn industry. They do so in a very shallow and cartoonish sort of way, but it’s a primary focus.
So, as a white couple, having a black man sleep with your wife is presumed to make the entire situation more embarrassing. The roles have really been reversed as well. Now, not only is the man subservient to his wife, but he’s also subservient to a black man as well. Twice the role reversal, twice the humiliation, I guess.
I think this is why the interracial depictions in the industry have always made me uncomfortable. Race has been inserted into the discussion as an additional factor that is supposed to be so obvious as to be presumed to be more degrading.
Not that it’s always that way, but I struggle to see it any other way in most circumstances. I know there are more innocent explanations for a lot couples that put this into practice – obviously, the humiliation factor may be enhanced for some white men who simply view men of other races as superior in some manner. And a woman may simply be more sexually attracted to men of a different race, even if her partner isn’t of that race. So I’m not going to draw any absolutes here.
But I’m still strongly suspect of the fetishization of races, particularly in the context of cuckolding.
Anyway, it’s just some food for thought. Please be sure to check out some of my works about hotwifing and cuckolding:
For me, the leadup to swinging can absolutely be the best part about the entire experience. That isn’t always the case, especially when it’s with a guy I’ve been with a bunch of times before and there hasn’t been a very long break between threesomes (or whatever we’re doing). But more often than not, the leadup is my favorite part.
I’ll use the first time my husband and I had me sleep with another guy as an example. We had been talking about it for a long time, but we just hadn’t gone through with it. That didn’t mean I had stopped thinking about it, though. I hadn’t. In fact, I had been fantasizing about sharing that experience with him from before we had even started talking about it.
But when we decided to go through with it, I took my time, searching for the right guy, flirting with prospective partners. It was fun to be on the dating scene again and to see men want me. I felt sexy and desirable and took that new energy back home with me.
I finally settled on one guy in particular that seemed promising. He was my age, attractive, and easy to get along with. We flirted via e-mail and text for a long time and there never really seemed to be a lull in the conversation. Eventually, I got drinks with him just to feel out the waters and rule him out if he just didn’t seem to live up to expectations.
But he did live up to expectations. I didn’t do anything with him that night and just left it as a good first date of sorts that had followed a lot of fun, flirty conversation. My husband (then boyfriend) and I talked a lot about what we each wanted me to do with this new guy, what I liked about him, and what I was most excited about. It was really freeing to be able to be sexually attracted to another man and to not only be able to tell my husband about it, but to be able to really discuss it with him. It was so much fun – he had even checked out guys with me before that to help me find someone that we thought would work.
Sometime after that first date, I was out with some friends on a girls’ night when this other guy texted me to see if I was interested in going over to his place. I was. I really was. I had been regretting not taking things farther at our first real date, but I was still making sure my husband was okay with everything.
So, I called my husband when I left the bar and told him that this other guy asked if I wanted to come over. I didn’t say he asked me to come over to his place for sex, but I didn’t need to. We all knew that was what he meant.
I was so nervous to make that call, but extremely excited. At the time, I wasn’t entirely sure how he would respond. He wanted me to have sex with this guy and come home to him afterwards, bringing sloppy seconds with me. See my earlier post about sloppy seconds. I had never had that request before and didn’t quite understand the appeal.
But he seemed as enthused as I did and quickly told me to go ahead and head over to this guy’s place. So I did.
His place was really nice. Downtown, loft, great building. I was so excited to be there that I could have skipped all foreplay. In a lot of ways, it felt like a one-night stand, but the buildup to the event made it so much bigger. And better.
I don’t really remember much of what happened at the beginning. He gave me a tour and we hung out in his place, just letting the sexual tension hang in the air. Eventually, we started kissing and the clothes came off.
All was great up to this point. Of course. Now that we had reached the climax, so to speak. I was dripping wet and couldn’t wait to fulfill one of my husband’s biggest desires, but my new friend was… not so up to the task.
I chalked it up to nerves and used my hands to try to get him hard. No go.
Okay, I thought. I wasn’t expecting this, particularly from a 23-year-old guy, but I figured it was nothing we couldn’t work through. I pushed him back so he was on the couch and got to my knees, taking his cock in my mouth. I pulled out my phone and snapped a quick picture (husband’s request) and kept sucking on him to get him hard.
It’s not like I had never sucked on my husband to get him hard before, but I don’t think it ever took more than thirty seconds or so. Three minutes in and I still have a limp noodle in my mouth. By five minutes or so, he finally gets (mostly) hard.
He puts my on the couch and gets on top of me, trying to enter me missionary style. Already, he had started to go soft and he struggled to even get inside of me. He finally does, but it doesn’t do all that much for me. He definitely lied when he said he was better hung than my husband, but was semi-hard when he entered and went fully-soft again while inside.
He suggested that we go to his bedroom and try a different position. I agree. I figure that it can’t really get any worse. I dropped to my knees and started giving him a blowjob again. Perhaps seeing me on my knees would help get him hard? Maybe he liked the more subservient-looking partner and just hadn’t told me?
Whether that was it or not, he did get hard pretty quickly and put a new condom on. He said he wanted me to ride him, cowgirl style, since that was his favorite position.
I obliged and slid him in without hesitating. I didn’t want to risk him going soft again and it looked like he was already on his way just from the time it took to put on the condom.
Sex in that position lasted all of about 40 seconds before he blew his load. No apologies for being so short. No attempt to go down on me to get me off. Nothing of the sort and I leave, pretty unfulfilled.
To top it off, my husband is horny AF when I get home. I was nervous to tell him about everything, but I did. He was as disappointed as I was that the sex was so disappointing, but still incredibly turned on by hearing about me describe going through with everything and seeing the one picture I took. He laid me on my back and went down on me, telling me that he could smell the condom on me and that it looked like I had sex. We did missionary and then cowgirl, just to match the other guy.
However, he was so horny that he lasted all of about three minutes with me on top of him, pushing me off his dick and cumming all over my lower back. Which never happens with him. Never. He had better self-control when I didn’t let him cum for the entire month of November.
So, I had fucked two men in the course of about 30 minutes and made both of them cum, but hadn’t gotten close myself at all. To be fair to my husband, that hasn’t happened since, and – like a gentlemen – he flipped me over and used his tongue to give me a well-deserved orgasm.
I mean, I’m happy I did it and everything. The process of finding a guy and flirting, teasing (both the new guy and my husband) was a lot of fun, and I feel like it really brought my husband and I together in a lot of ways. But the actual hotwifing portion? Not so good. Not so good at all.
Even when I’ve had great sex with new guys, I still usually prefer the flirting and the foreplay and everything that comes before the sex over the actual sex.
I’d love to hear other’s thoughts and experiences.
And, as always, please be sure to check out some of my works about hotwifing and cuckolding:
My husband and I are still going strong on No Nut November. He passed the halfway mark – and then some since I made him start a day early.
But I’m struggling a little to think of ways to tease him, outside of what we’ve been doing. He’s been getting me off regularly, massaging me, serving me, etc., and I bring him close to cumming every day before forcing him to hold off.
What I was thinking was maybe it would be a good torture move to bring him to a strip club – but without his glasses or contacts. I can see other men, but he can’t see other women… but his vision is so terrible it’s almost funny. Even though he would know naked women were just feet away, he still wouldn’t even really see them. The strippers may as well be wearing parkas and would merely look like moving fuzzy blobs.
If harsher punishment and femdom is more your speed, please be sure to check out Strictly Business: Tormenting Tom, which is my first BDSM/femdom work.
Specifically, does anyone else find themselves turned on, or at least intrigued, by the thought of doing a lot of something that they otherwise don’t like? Like, having a threesome doesn’t do it for you, but being in an orgy or a gangbang does? Or getting spanked during sex is a turn off, but being tied down and spanked hard and repeatedly turns you on?
For me, I’m not a fan of facials. I don’t hate facials, but on their best day, I’m neutral about them. It’s not like they feel good. I think the feeling is a little bit gross, actually. And then it’s just messy, but not so messy that it couldn’t be contained, which irritates me about them. Maybe a little OCD tendency coming out there, but I am who I am.
BUT, I like to think of being in a bukkake. Four, five, six guys all taking turns, leaving less and less of my face uncovered for the next guy with my husband going last and adding to the heap already running down my skin. There’s so much cum that the idea of containing it like one neat and tidy facial is laughable.
Just curious if anyone else shares this “a little is bad, but a lot is good” thinking with anything else in the bedroom.
And if you like women indulging in the mindset of “more is better,” make sure you check out my books where the women are always outnumbered:
Or “sluts” in general? I’ve referenced the stigma against women having multiple partners, threesomes (especially with two guys, specifically), a high number former sexual partners, etc. in multiple of my previous posts, although I haven’t really figured out why the stigma exists in the first place. I think most people would agree that the stigma exists, but it just seems crazy to me that it does.
I mean, guys want to get laid, right? Gay, straight, or bi, guys wanting to get laid is a premise that I think we can all get behind. Straight guys are looking for women, so women that are DTF are just doing something that makes everyone happy.
But then (primarily straight) guys shame them for being apparently too slutty while some certain women pile on. It makes no sense to me. Now, if it has an effect on women, I think they’re just more likely to not have sex with the next guy that comes along that they want to sleep with. Which, since women like sex, too, means everyone loses.
It’s just all so silly to me, this culture of shame that exists. It was instilled in me a long time ago and in my husband, even though neither of us agreed with its existence.
I still remember watching a movie a long time ago – at least a decade. I can’t remember what it was. Something mindless to wind down with at the end of the day. But a man and a woman in college were competing over something and they were trying to blackmail the other. The things they were blackmailing each other with were escalating in how bad they were perceived to be. And the trump card that the guy played on the woman was that he would tell people about the time that she made out with two different guys at the same time. Like that was just such a whorish and unforgivable/embarrassing thing that she was supposed to do almost anything to keep it a secret.
I feel like she should have been proud of that accomplishment. Any guy would be proud if the situation was reversed.
In any case, I’m still not entirely sure why a culture of shame over female sexuality exists and why we celebrate men who sleep with a lot of women but look down on the women. It takes two guys to make an MFM happen, and no one should be judged in the first place, but the woman is looked at worse for some reason. I refuse to believe that the stigma exists because society just feels this impenetrable biological pull that causes men to seek many partners and women to seek one provider.
And if you want more stories about women working to get rid of this stigma, two guys at a time, please be sure to check out my works:
Alicia Stills Author: Erotica and Fantasy 