Pornography can be subjected to different interpretations, but I’ve always generally considered works of art, particularly those with any kind of cultural significance, to just be art.
Not so on WordPress, I guess.
Rest assured, the two statue figures on the ends are wearing underwear and merely shaking hands while a third practices limbo skills in between them.
Unfortunately, I had to simply remove an image of ancient stone carvings found on a temple because the picture had a no derivatives license.
Oh well. It is what it is, I guess, but I’m still shocked that ancient stone carvings on ruins/temples are somehow over the line here.
And find pictures for cover images for books? For free or cheap, that is. Obviously, if you are willing to pay good money, you have more options. Of course I understand that the more you put into something, the larger the potential return, but I’m really looking to not spend money unless I know writing will take off in any meaningful way.
I haven’t figured out the whole advertising thing quite yet and finding usable images is still somewhat of a challenge. I guess my bigger concern is figuring out where/how to advertise. DeviantArt didn’t pan out. Various other book promotion sites and tools have resulted in minimal additional traffic. I don’t see how Instagram is all that usable when the medium is writing. I’ve thought about Twitter, but I’m not familiar with it at all and it makes the least amount of sense to me when I try to navigate it. I suppose I could always learn if that’s the best place to be
Anyway, this is all new to me still and I’m struggling a little, so I figure it can’t hurt to at least ask the WordPress universe.
Is it primarily only bisexual guys who are into them? Or are most men who are into MFMs and MMFMs also turned on by double barrel blowjobs?
If you aren’t familiar with what they are, urban dictionary can always help. But basically, it’s when a woman not only gives a blowjob to two guys at the same time, but puts both dicks in her mouth at the same time so they’re like a double barrel shotgun on their way into her mouth.
My husband likes them and I always have thought that threesomes work best when the guys aren’t afraid of each other, so I’m happy to oblige. I’ve seen the term “heteroflexible” before and since the guys necessarily have to touch for a double barrel BJ, I figure they have to be at least a little bit heteroflexible to enjoy this one.
My husband is straight and isn’t interested in doing anything with another guy without me in the middle or in touching the other guy unless it’s a part of getting inside of me, but I’ve always wondered where most guys fall with this sort of thing. Societal expectations are that women are heteroflexible, at a minimum, and preferably bisexual, but that really doesn’t seem to extend to men.
Not that labels matter. If you’re new to MFMs, you should definitely be discussing what you’re all comfortable with. No one wants an awkward moment where someone is freaking out because an unknown line was crossed.
And if you’re into double barrel blowjobs, maybe you’ll find my On His Orders series your cup of tea. There is plenty of double barrel action inside:
My husband and I have been experimenting with female domination and humiliation play for a little while now. While it had a few awkward moments at the beginning (I’m not naturally dominant and it took both of us a while to get comfortable with me saying/doing things that are fairly derogatory), it’s been a lot of fun.
I wasn’t entirely sure what to do, even with my husband giving me some ideas and saying what would be good and what would be off-limits, so I looked around to try to find some ideas.
What I found was a small handful of items that were intriguing for us, mixed in with a great number of things that just weren’t our style. I know there are plenty of people out there who do get into this kind of lifestyle fully and with few limitations, but I don’t know how realistic that is for most people. Personally, I don’t want to hurt my husband to the point that he has permanent marks, make him drink pee, get branded, lick up his own cum, practice bestiality, or do yard work in women’s lingerie in plain sight of the neighbors. These were all suggestions that came up pretty regularly when I was searching for ideas at the start. That, and some form of “rules” for making domination/humiliation a true lifestyle.
We just want something to have fun with for a day or two (minus orgasm control, which necessarily takes longer).
And if those are your thing, great (except for the bestiality thing, which I can’t disapprove of any more than I currently do) More power to you. But for people like me, I put together a different list of items I think are more doable.
Before I get to the list, please be sure to check out Strictly Business: Tormenting Tom, which is my first BDSM/femdom work.
I guess these aren’t really required, but I almost always employ both of these for my husband and I when we set out to do a little femdom.
1. Make Him Serve You
You can accomplish this in a lot of ways, particularly using the other ideas below. Have a set time or times where you’re the queen and he’s the servant that has to take orders from you and do anything/everything you want. Massages, oral, food and drink preparation – whatever you want.
2. No Orgasms Allowed
For him, obviously. You can (and should!) get off as many times as you can. So for, we’ve set a specific number of days that he is not allowed to orgasm. He is currently at 12, but his birthday is coming up very soon, which is when he is allowed relief. Our previous long was seven days.
You can also change it from “number of days” to “number of your orgasms.” So, he would be required to hold out until you’ve had 10 orgasms, rather than waiting for ten days. Both would work equally well, in my opinion. We’ve also considered using dice as an alternative – rolling two or three dice and using the combined number to determine how long he can’t cum.
OTHER IDEAS
Like I said above, there are many ways you can go about the first two. Here are some other ideas we’ve either used or think are at least worthy of discussion.
1. Massage
Make him massage you for as long as you want. One of my favorite things to do when dominating my husband is to have him massage my body with coconut oil until I fall asleep. It feels great for me, it puts me to sleep, I don’t give him anything in return, and he gets horny because he’s been rubbing all parts of my body.
2. Oral and Rimming Anytime You Want
This one should almost be added to the Musts above. If your partner is anything like my husband, this is quite teasing for him as well. Giving oral and rimming always gets him excited. Obviously, you’re the only one that gets to finish.
3. Blow Him
No, really. Blow him. Just make sure you stop before he cums. Getting him hard and teasing him with the prospect of getting to finish before sending him on his way just short of the finish line can be satisfyingly cruel. By day three of being teased, he’s ready to do anything you want.
4. Sex Anytime You Want
Very similar to above. I like this one a lot because it’s even more challenging for him. The way he struggles to get me off while holding himself back, especially when it’s the 3rd, 4th, 5th+ day in is wonderful. My husband has wonderful orgasm control, but even he struggles after five days of edging. Which brings me to…
5. Edging
I’ve found that one of the best ways to dominate and control my husband is by giving him things that he likes. When I’m controlling his orgasm as part of domination/humiliation play, I’m giving him a lot of attention a lot of days. Getting him so excited he has his sights set on an orgasm, wondering if he really can keep holding out, before forcing him to take the wind out of his sails before revving him up again really establishes a high level of power and control over him. A man that has been brought to the edge of cumming twenty times over the course of a week with no release is a man that will do anything you want.
6. Cock Cage
Make him wear a cock cage that prevents him from getting hard. Granted, we tried that and ended up buying one that really didn’t do the trick for us (see: https://aliciastillsauthor.design.blog/2020/05/14/sex-toy-review/), but there are many others out there that you could try. However, you could use packing tape or duct tape and tape his flaccid dick to his balls. Anything to keep him from getting hard and to make it uncomfortable if his body tried.
7. Sit on His Face
Smother him with your ass and take control of the oral. Getting oral doesn’t always need to mean laying back and waiting for him to do what you hopefully want. Sometimes it means riding his face and using his mouth as a tool to give yourself an orgasm. Sometimes it means cumming while listening to him struggle for breath.
8. Sit on His Face Like He Isn’t There
This has been one of my favorite sexual things to do to him that isn’t actually all that sexual. I’ll strip him naked and lay him on the bed, mount his face and watch an episode or two of TV that I like but he hates, all while pretending he isn’t even there.
9. Flirt With Other Men
You could do this out in public while he watches, but I think it’s easier to use Tinder or some other dating/hookup app. I like to do that while sitting on his face or while he’s massaging my feet. After a while, I’ll let him read some of the messages and tell him what I like about the guys I’m talking to.
10. Treat Him Like an Object
Use him as a foot stool. Or any other inanimate object.
11. Make Him Wear a Butt Plug
Granted, a lot of men like that. But for us, this is in part embracing some role play.
12. Make Him Bartend
Have him make your favorite drink(s) all night while only allowing him water. Or perhaps beer in a can. The more elaborate or cumbersome your drink to make, the better.
13. Make Him Cook
And not just anything. Have him make your favorite food, but only enough for you while he gets something he hates.
Or, you could have a lot of variation here. He could have the same thing as you, but you could put it on a dish on the floor and have him eat it like a dog. Or you could put it right on the floor. Or you could step in his food and have him lick it off your feet. If you’re feeling really bold, you could fart on his food
14. Use a Marshmallow
How is up to you. But if you ask me, you could press a marshmallow as firmly onto your asshole as you can, holding it in place with a thong. Keep it there for as long as you’d like before having him remove it with his mouth and eat it. While he prepares your favorite food, you could hold a marshmallow in your ass for the entirety of the meal prep and dinner, giving him the marshmallow as his “dessert.”
Another classic. What you do with him from there is up to you, but tie him up and leave him helpless.
17. Have Him Lick Your Feet
Or suck your toes. Frankly, I really hate it. But more importantly, so does he.
18. Pedicure
Speaking of feet, when was the last time you had a pedicure? If you have a captive man intent on serving you and earning his orgasm, perhaps you can sit back and enjoy a pedicure before a nice meal and an orgasm before a massage.
19. Give Him Candy!
From your ass. Let him have as much candy as he wants, as long as he eats it out of your ass. Reese’s Pieces and M&Ms work quite well and can be inserted a little bit, too, until they’re nice and melty.
20. Hotbox Him
Hotbox him while he goes down on you under the covers.
21. No Need to be Clean
Have him rub your feet or sit on his face after you’ve finished exercising, but before you’ve showered. You could have him wash your body when you’re done as well.
22. Make Him Watch
Have sex with another guy or other guys while he watches and does not participate. Again, there are numerous reasons why a lot of guys are really into this (see, e.g., https://aliciastillsauthor.design.blog/2020/06/05/why-do-men-enjoy-cuckolding/), but it is traditionally seen as degrading and there’s an element of role play in all of this.
You can verbally mock him. Or not. I never have because it’s just something that neither of us are into at all.
23. Don’t Let Him Watch
Have sex with another guy or other guys, but don’t let him watch
24. Tell Him How Good Other Guys Are
In either of the above cases, make sure to tell him how good the other guys were. Depending on what you two are into, you could have him go down on you when they’re done. If you clean up as little as possible, you’ll still smell and taste like sex. If you queef while he goes down on you, you can always tell him that you can’t help it – big dicks make you do that.
Actually sleeping with other guys is a big step, so if you’re not ready for it, you could just tell him about great sex you’ve had that didn’t include him. You could even make it up if you wanted.
25.Make Him Bathe and Dress You
Have him draw you a bath and wash your body, lotioning you from head-to-toe when you’re done. If you’re going to have sex with another guy, this is a great one to employ as your own foreplay.
When I was still seeing the first guy I regularly had sex with after starting to date my husband, he bathed me and rubbed body butter on my entire body before dressing me in my favorite lingerie. I have this purple corset combo that I love, but it’s really a pain to put on. When I was lotioned, he methodically dressed me in the corset – which I wore under my regular clothes – before sending me out the door to the other guy’s loft, obviously fully aware that I was going over to have sex with him.
26. Make Him Listen
Tie him and blindfold him before lying next to him and masturbate until you orgasm. Don’t take the blindfold off or restraints off until you’re fully dressed again.
27. Show Him How It’s Done
You could also let him watch you masturbate, but not touch himself. Or, you could have him rim you while you masturbate.
28. Reverse Spoon
I don’t know if there’s a different term for it already, but have him sleep with his face in your ass. My husband has put his pillow down by the back of my legs under the covers and position himself so that while I’m laying on my side, it’s sort of like he’s spooning me, but with his face in my ass. He doesn’t stay there all night, but he has done that for several hours at a time.
29. Dance, Monkey
It’s usually the woman dancing for the man, so flip the tables and make him give you a lap dance.
30. Dance for Him
If your goal is to make him as sexually frustrated as possible, a well-timed sexy striptease can drive him crazy.
31. Post Him Online
Find a forum for femdom or male humiliation and post naked pictures of him online. Obviously, only do it with his consent and most likely with anything personally identifiable (like his face) removed from the picture.
32. Dress Seductively
Do this as much as possible while you’re making him hold out. I have to be more careful about this than I’d like to because we have our kids around most of the time, but short skirts that make for easy upskirting, see-through leggings, lowcut tops, slutty lingerie at nighttime for no reason other than slutty lingerie at nighttime have been my friends. I want him thinking about sex as much as possible.
33. Queef
Most men are really grossed out by queefs, even though they seem entirely harmless to me. Funny sounding, but harmless. Queef around him or on him and watch him squirm.
34. Semi-Public Nudity
Obviously, you have to be careful because you don’t want him to get arrested. And if the neighbors happen to see, you can’t get them to unsee it.
But, we have a semi-private backyard. I’ve tied him to the playset after dark and left him there. It’s very unlikely that any neighbor would have been able to see him, but not impossible.
OTHER NOTES
Unless this is really going to be a lifestyle for you (in which case, most of this is just too effing mild), I would recommend setting times where you’ll play. If you’re withholding his orgasm, a lot of this will extend for a number of days. But set aside specific time frame – e.g., one evening – where you’ll do the “mean” things to him. It can be fun to have my husband serve me and get turned on by me doing what would otherwise be unpleasant things to him, but it would be a lot less fun if we didn’t have set, specific times for that part of our play. I want most of my time spent with my husband to be where we’re treating each other as equals.
My husband was not the first guy I dated that wanted to have an MFM threesome. In fact, I don’t think I’ve had a relationship, casual or otherwise, since losing my virginity where an MFM didn’t come up at some point.
But he was the first guy who wanted me to have sex with another guy and then come home to him for sloppy seconds sex. I suppose that just means he was the first real cuckold I’ve been with. Every other time I had sex with a guy while dating someone else, it was in a threesome and my BF/FWB wouldn’t have been okay not being present and partaking in the fun.
Like most women, I was surprised that my then-boyfriend proposed that I have sex with another guy without him even being there. I was the woman in one of my last posts (Why Do Men Enjoy Cuckolding) who just didn’t understand the appeal. It seems so foreign to me now. To struggle to understand the appeal.
But I suppose it isn’t surprising in retrospect. I didn’t get it at all when I had my first threesome with two guys, and I wasn’t even dating either of them. Both were straight and I didn’t understand why they would be okay with sharing one woman. In my mind, it was like they were only getting half the sex. But I quickly came around to see all of the reasons why straight guys would want to have an MFM.
And then I didn’t understand when a boyfriend was into MFMs as well. Sure, I got the appeal to MFMs, but it took me a while to understand how jealousy wouldn’t ruin the whole experience for him. Even though he wanted it, I still felt like it was rude or disrespectful to have sex with another guy and my boyfriend at the same time.
I can actually remember promising that boyfriend that he would get to have sex with me first and be the first of the guys to cum. As though one were simply going to get behind the other one and wait his turn until Guy #1 was completely done. He quickly corrected me that that wasn’t what he was looking for. He wanted a threesome with spitroasting, double BJs, and both guys alternating positions and taking turns, etc.
I made the same mistake with my husband when he said he wanted sloppy seconds. I told him that we could screw earlier in the day before I went over to the other guy’s place. That way, I’d be “fresh” for him. He just looked at me funny and told me “No thanks” and that the appeal was for him to go second.
Even then, I still didn’t get it. I still had in my mind that it would be wrong to not let him have me first, so I promised him that I would clean up as well as I could right after and shower before I got home. He just shook his head and laughed a little bit, telling me I missed the point. He wanted me to look, smell, feel, and taste like I had just been fucked by another guy. There was little point to sloppy seconds if I was going to clean myself up so well that it was like nothing had happened at all.
He likes how I feel, smell, and taste different. He even knows by my look. I had sex with a guy who left our place not long before my husband got home and my husband knew that I had sex with someone. Granted, I didn’t clean up at all, but he could tell just by looking at me.
Most of our play is together, rather than me with other people while he waits, but we’ve done just sloppy seconds for him enough that he has a game from it where he likes to guess what I did when I get home without me telling him first. He tries to piece together oral, rimming, anal, vaginal, number of times, and where the guy came. He can do whatever he wants to me to try to figure it out and his accuracy is impressive.
Also, please be sure to check out my works that involve sloppy seconds:
I suppose that probably makes me an exhibitionist.
Well, I take that back. I’m definitely an exhibitionist. If it were more socially acceptable, I would love to work as a stripper once in a while. Even with the stories about how shitty strippers can be treated even at the nicer clubs, it still has always sounded appealing. If I didn’t need to maintain anonymity due to working a professional job, I would love to at least post naked pictures of myself online again.
Oh well. One of the trade-offs, I suppose. I just wish that I could pose naked in public like this without consequence.
It’s a thrill for me to even picture doing what she’s doing.
But still, my husband is off from work today and decided to bring the kids out of town to the grandparents. So, naturally, with the temps hovering around 90 degrees and our yard being semi-private, I just came in from a round of nude sunbathing. Sure, I was in plain sight of the neighbors during the daylight, but positioning myself behind one side of the deck and using the kids’ trampoline to block another side, I kept myself mostly secluded. Not entirely, but mostly.
I’ve just always enjoyed being naked. When I was growing up, I used to go outside in the nude when my parents were gone, just because I could and because I liked how the outside air felt on my skin. If there were a nude beach in the area, you can believe that I would be right there next to this woman every chance I had.
My husband is less of an exhibitionist than I am, but he agreed with me – he would love to be next to this woman at the nude beach every chance he got.
I didn’t want people to see me at first. At least, I don’t think that I did. I just enjoyed how it felt to be outside in the nude. The cool air of the late evening after the sun had gone down and the hot midday sun both felt equally nice. It was a small town and we were fairly secluded then, too, but it still wasn’t without risk. That little bit of risk made it that much more exciting.
One day during the summer, I was at the house by myself and I had already spent some time outside naked. I usually didn’t last very long because the fear of getting caught always chased me back inside or my clothes back on, and this day had been no different. After going through the highs of stripping down outdoors enough times, I gave up on the nudity and elected to tan in my backyard instead.
I don’t know how long I had been tanning when I figured out I was being watched. My next door neighboor was the same age as me and he had two friends over. Even being in a small town and even being next door to him, I really didn’t know him very well. I didn’t actively dislike him or anything, but we were never going to be great friends and I was indifferent to him, at best.
Still, knowing they were peeping on me was exciting. Up until then, I had never considered intentionally exposing myself to anyone when I went outside naked. I’ve never wanted to actually be naked for anyone that didn’t want to see me naked. But in my mind, no one had ever wanted to see me naked, so every time I went out by myself, I always had how to avoid being detected/caught at the forefront of my mind.
This is when it shifted for me. It went from simply enjoying how it feels to be naked to being turned on by others seeing me.
I don’t know what I would have done had they walked around the row of bushes separating my yard from his. I never really thought through it. I just untied my top and set it next to me, laying on my stomach and working up the courage to be more daring.
Once my heartbeat slowed down, I knew that I hadn’t shown them anything. It was just my bare back, which I didn’t feel was all that exciting. So, I pushed myself up and turned my chest towards the bushes, where I could hear them moving around a little bit and see their figures through the leaves. I pretended that I was brushing my stomach off, just a pretense to show them my boobs.
I stayed like that for a while and propped myself up on my side and kept my eyes closed. I didn’t want them to know that I knew they were watching, and I was pretty confident that I could keep my peeping more secret than they kept theirs.
Again, once my heartbeat slowed down, I was ready to go a little bit further. I could still see them crouched together and watching me, so I laid back down on my stomach and reached for my bikini bottoms. I ran my fingers around the waistband several times, pulling them down just a little bit with each pass. I could hear them laughing a little bit and quickly pulled the bottoms the rest of the way down and off. I stayed on my stomach, leaving my bare ass facing up and into the sun and in plain sight of those three.
I eventually changed positions again, going up to my knees and facing away from the peeping bushes. I laid back down on my back, stretching my arms above my head and keeping my eyes firmly closed, yet still knowing they were able to see all of me.
When I was done, I made sure they got all of the views they were hoping for. I sat up and got onto my knees, facing towards the bushes and still completely naked. I reached up and took the hair tie out, shaking out my hair to unnecessarily and slowly redo my ponytail. When that was done, I turned around so my back was to the bushes and bent over, collecting my lotion, towel, and bikini while on my hands and knees. I slipped my top back on before standing and sliding my bottoms back on. I casually walked back to my house, not looking back or acknowledging the guys in any way.
I had that memory in my head when I was writing Hooky (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0854MNWXQ). The main character there is able to reconnect with the exhibitionist part of her at one point, putting aside the feelings of societal restriction to take what she wants. Just in case you’re interested.
It didn’t really occur to me until I was already back in my house that guys talk, so I couldn’t really expect this to remain a private show. Shockingly, though, I never had anyone ask me about it and none of the guys directly said anything to me later, either. Their comments to me were definitely sexually charged after that and I can’t say that was the only time any of them saw me naked.
Anyway, swinging has been a great way for me to play around with my exhibitionist side and it’s been more on my mind lately because there has been no swinging due to Covid and none on the horizon yet. I’m just looking back on some fond memories and itching to make new ones. With this hot weather and less of a sexual outlet, I just keep looking outside and thinking about rekindling my exhibitionism how I used to do it.
Happy Monday, everyone.
I wish I could be her. How she manages to walk with figurative balls that big is beyond me.
Also, please be sure to check out my works that involve other brave women:
It’s a question I’ve seen many times, mostly by two groups of people. The first of which is men – particularly straight men – who are trying to understand why they are turned on by the thought of their partner having sex with another man or men. A lot of the time, they seem to be worried that they aren’t “normal,” even though they can’t quite figure out what they think it is that would be wrong with them. Hint: Nothing is.
The second group is women who are shocked by their husband or boyfriend bringing this fantasy up to them. Women who bring up cuckolding or hotwifing (which has a lot of similarities to cuckolding, but generally considers a more equal power dynamic, whereas that isn’t always the case with cuckolding. I could split more hairs here, but won’t.) first to their partner don’t have that same type of surprise. The women who question why men enjoy being cuckolded usually struggle with understanding why a man wants to be (in their view) cheated on, particularly when they don’t see what the men get in return. Almost always, however, it is the man who wants to be cucked that brings it up first.
I think it’s a very complicated and complex question that has many different answers. It’s one of the most common fantasies amongst both men and women and has been steadily gaining in popularity for years, despite being something that flies in the face of what societal norms dictate relationships should look like. Societal norms say that monogamy is the accepted standard. Men need to be “real men” who take “what’s theirs,” not weak and ineffectual men that can’t keep women from falling into the arms of other men. Men are supposed to be intensely jealous if their partner even looks towards another man and women are somehow devalued if they would even think about having more than one sexual partner. They should be ridiculed as a whore, slut, tramp, or whatever other derogatory term for a woman comes to mind. Nevermind that the appeal for women is simple here: women enjoy sex just as much as men. No one questions why men would want to sleep with two women; there’s similarly no real reason to question why women would want to sleep with two men.
Honestly, I could explore the question of why men want to be cuckolded and the many different avenues it goes down for hours and hours. I won’t, because this is just a blog post. At least, I won’t go on about this for hours and hours in this singular blog post. I think the topic is fascinating and I’m sure I’ll revisit it many more times.
I’ll pull myself back on point before I start taking myself off on other tangents. Below is a completely non-exhaustive list of reasons why some men want to be cuckolded. Although first, please be sure to check out some of my works about hotwifing and cuckolding:
Yes, men like porn. Yes, yours too. No, your husband/boyfriend doesn’t really think that strippers are gross. He might think that the environment that exists at a strip club is gross, but he doesn’t seriously think that being surrounded by attractive women that get completely naked for his enjoyment (and money, of course) is gross.
Your partner also really enjoys seeing you naked. If he doesn’t, there are other problems in the relationship. Being cuckolded gives a man the opportunity to not only witness live porn, but to see the partner he loves be that fantasy pornstar. For a lot of men this is a live show that’s better than any scene on a computer screen or any 20-year-old spinning around on a pole.
HEARING ABOUT IT
Any woman who has had a guy ask her to tell him about previous sex while they were having sex may relate here.
Some men may not want to watch you with other men, at least not every time. Some would rather get off on hearing about the sexual encounter later. If they’re hearing you describe it, rather than watching everything unfold, they’re able to craft a picture of what happened in their mind. For some, this can be better than watching because the scene and imagery they create plays out more perfectly than reality. I, for one, have had some pretty disappointing sex without my husband present, but it didn’t diminish things for him much, if at all. He was still able to create an image of me and the other guys romping through the bedroom like a couple of sexual Adonis’.
Still others just want to know that their partner had sex with another guy, but don’t want all the details. The suspense of not knowing exactly what happened enhances things for them and still allows them to create the entire image. I had sex with a guy once and only showed my husband that there was a used condom in the trash. The only other thing I said about it was that I had fun night. It drove him wild!
VIEW YOUR PARTNER AS A SEXUAL OBJECT
I’ve brought this one up before and the initial reaction from a lot of people is one of confusion. However, I think this is a very real reason for a lot of men to want to be cucked, particularly as the relationship grows and gets older. It certainly applies to my husband.
At the beginning, a lot of relationships are about that spark and sexual chemistry. You’re in the honeymoon phase and sex is right at the forefront of nearly everything you do together. Even when you’re out and about doing purely non-sexual things, at the back of both of your minds is the desire to get naked together again.
And that starts to fade over time. You don’t love each other any less, but your roles within each other’s lives expand. She becomes someone you bring to family events. You discuss finances and other long-term plans. She becomes a wife and a mother, a career-focused woman, or any other number of things that intelligent and highly complex people are apt to do. And her existence as a sexual person is still there, but it’s taken a less prominent role.
But in cuckolding, you’re reconnecting to that purely carnal part of both of you and you get to see her in a light that’s nothing but sexual. All of the outside noise and distractions can take a back seat, because while you cuckold, everything is about pleasure. With everything else she is, while watching her orgasm on top of another guy, she is only a sexual person.
Not that you have to wait a long time and have your relationship develop over the course of years for this to apply. Even when you’re in a pretty new relationship, cuckolding places her in a position of being seen in purely sexual terms, which, for a lot of people, is incredibly exciting in any context.
THE THRILL OF THE TABOO
As noted above, societal norms and expectations demand that people act in a certain way. But for a lot of people, it’s a lot of fun to break those norms. They don’t want to feel constrained by these expectations and feel excited by doing something they “aren’t supposed to do.”
It can be a little exciting to do something that is supposed to be wrong and dirty. At least this kind of wrong and dirty is done with the full knowledge and approval of your partner, yet still wrong and dirty enough that you probably won’t tell your neighbors that you fucked your bull while your husband waited patiently for his turn.
ROLE REVERSAL
Very closely related to the above, the role reversal can be a lot of fun. Men are supposed to be the ones that desire multiple sexual partners, not women. It’s sort of like the male CEO of a company wanting to have a dominatrix control him all evening. The quiet, polite librarian that wants to whip her partner before having loud, headboard-banging sex.
This embrace of female empowerment and male submission can be exciting for a lot of men.
COMPERSION
Compersion is a real thing and occurs where someone experiences happiness from witnessing someone else’s enjoyment of something. More specifically, it’s a type of vicarious pleasure experienced from watching your partner have good sex with someone else. As it is put here:
“Loving someone essentially involves a desire for the beloved’s happiness. Too often, we add a rider, But only provided that I am the one to cause it!”
That author goes on to point out that this can be more of an indicator of possessiveness than love.
Essentially, your partner may just enjoy seeing you cum so much that seeing you cum from someone else has a high level of appeal.
FEMALE SEXUAL FULFILLMENT
Related to compersion, many women have a significantly higher sexual capacity than their partners. They can have many, many more orgasms and don’t have nearly as lengthy refractory periods. For many, sex with a single man is never long enough and they finish an encounter wanting more.
Men who have that sort of partner may want to see her needs get fulfilled in ways that they can’t manage on their own. They also may be living vicariously through their partner and experiencing this higher level of sexual capacity that they can’t experience. I love my husband and he’s great in bed, but he couldn’t really please three women by himself at once. But he can live vicariously through me and experience that kind of sex when I’m with three guys at once.
JEALOUSY AS AN APHRODISIAC
While not universal, jealousy can be an especially potent aphrodisiac. I remember the first time I had a threesome with a guy I was dating, the first time I had sex while a boyfriend just watched, and the first threesome I had with my husband. After each one, I asked them: “Doesn’t that make you jealous?”
I couldn’t believe that seeing me with another guy didn’t make them feel like they were going to go crazy with jealousy. Do you know what all of them told me? “Yes.”
Yes, it did make them jealous. But no, it didn’t make them feel like they were going to go crazy with jealousy. At least not in a bad way. They liked feeling jealous. My husband has always put it as though jealousy from seeing me with other guys is always there, at least a little bit. But rather than making him angry and feeling like he wants to punch something, he says mixing jealousy with his horniness is like pouring gasoline on fire. It just makes him hornier and want me even more.
This article isn’t specifically about swinging or cuckolding, but it revolves around how jealousy within a relationship is a good thing. Seeing your partner with other people can make people “remember: Oh, yeah. Other people think my partner is hot. I think my partner is hot, too. I’d better start showing it.” One of the experts interviewed there noted that jealousy can cause someone to pay much more attention to their own partner.
Many people treat jealousy as being a bad thing, when really, it’s only certain reactions to jealousy that are bad. Others interviewed in the above article discussed the same concept (although again, not actual cuckolding). “[O]f course you want [my partner]. But guess what, [she’s] mine.” Cuckolding is just taking this another step. Of course you want her, sexually. But guess what, after I watch her get what we want from you, she’s still mine.
SHARING AS A SOURCE OF PRIDE
Some men want to share their partner because they’re proud to have her. Some men share pictures of their wives and girlfriends online or to their friends because they want people to see how hot she is and be envious of him. Some men want their partner to dress revealing when they go out so others can see what they don’t have.
Cuckolding takes this a little bit further. And it isn’t a case of the man being cheated on, because he isn’t. And it isn’t a matter of being too weak or too inadequate to take care of her needs (even if those things are said because of a desire to be humiliated). Rather, the cuckold is completely in control because he has the power to share “his” woman.
BICURIOUS EXPLORATION
I know there are women who really don’t want this to be the case, even if I don’t think it should matter, but it’s also possible that the guy is exploring some bisexual tendencies or curiosity. For some guys, if they want to explore bicuriosity, fooling around with another guy may be too intimidating, but being around a naked man while he’s having sex with a woman or going down on a woman seconds after another man has been inside of her is not.
HUMILIATION
Also, the guy just might want to explore the “M” in BDSM. Some people are turned on by masochism, which would include humiliation. Creating a scene, even if entirely contrived, wherein the cuck is playing the role of the guy too pathetic to fuck his woman right and is forced to watch a bigger, better, stronger man give her what she needs can be all the humiliation he’s looking for. Playing off the societal norms and expectations above, little more is more degrading than being forced to watch your partner please and be pleased by other men.
CONCLUSION
I know there are more reasons than what’s listed above and the nuances to every situation and reason can go on and on. And obviously, every person/couple that wants to explore cuckolding has their own reasons, which can be very personal to them. But with that said, in my experience, the above list provide some of the most common reasons for guys to enjoy being cucked.
Personally, I love that cuckolding and hotwifing are becoming more and more common, so whatever your reasons are for wanting to try it, I hope you talk it through with your partner and are able to make it a reality.
Alright, I’m back to writing about the good stuff. I had to get a little bit off my chest in that last post, but removing myself from social media for a while is doing me some good.
I noticed the title for this post as a search term that brought someone to my blog recently. Frankly, it was something that I hadn’t thought of for a long time, and it really brought me back. I’ve had so many orgasms over the years, most of them uninteresting and forgettable, but I don’t think I could forget my first orgasm.
I had been touching myself for years by that point, but I had never had an orgasm. I don’t think I really had any idea about what an orgasm felt like or how I would go about trying to actually have one. I had merely been playing with myself because it felt good, nothing more.
Earlier in the week, there was a rumor at school about a girl in the year ahead of me. I was so sheltered at the time that I laughed it off. In my mind, it seemed so outlandish that it couldn’t possibly be true.
Until she started admitting that it was true. And bragging about its truthfulness and that she wanted to do it again. While the guys also told everyone it was true.
I didn’t particularly like the girl. Actually, to be perfectly honest, I really disliked her. I was next-door neighbors with her for a while when we were young and then lived just down the street from her until we went to college, but I always thought she was kind of a twat. But, being from a small town and living so close, we crossed paths quite a bit.
So I ended up listening to her talk brag one day about how she was hanging out with three guys, who we’ll call Nathan, Sean, and Ryan. She regularly hooked up with Nathan, who was two years older than her. Sean was one year younger, and Ryan was the same age.
She said she wanted to get laid, so she simply started making out with Nathan, thinking that Sean and Ryan would get the hint and leave. They didn’t and ten minutes of making out later, she took off her shirt. She said that her pants followed not too long after that, but all three guys stayed right where they were. When Nathan took off her bra, she knew they really had no intentions of leaving unless she and Nathan told them to.
Which she wasn’t about to do. Instead, she says she told them that if they were going to stay, they had to be naked, too. When they took off their clothes, she finished getting naked, too, before blowing all three at the same time. Sean and Ryan came in her mouth and stayed around to watch her have sex with Nathan.
I was so turned on at the thought of being in the middle of three guys, especially because I knew them and something I had previously thought only occurred in porn happened just down the street. I felt good when I pictured it happening. I felt different when I pictured it happening to me.
I had those thoughts fresh in my mind while in my basement, watching a show about the making of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. I can remember sticking my hand inside of my pants, almost mindlessly playing with myself simply because it felt good. I wasn’t masturbating to the women in the magazine, though. At least not really. I was masturbating while picturing myself as one of the women. I wanted to be the beautiful woman, nearly naked and surrounded by people on the beach who were intent on taking in my every move and every inch of my body. I wanted people to stare at me and make me feel exposed.
All the while, my mind kept bouncing back-and-forth between that and the scene involving Sean, Nathan, and Ryan. I could tell that it felt different than the other times I had touched myself. It felt better than it had before, my fingers were moving more quickly, and the feeling built inside of me in a way I wasn’t quite used to. I wasn’t even entirely sure what the feeling was until it just happened.
So, that’s how my first orgasm happened, aided heavily by some fantasy material.
I’ll just start out with saying that this toy receives five out of five stars from me.
I’ve wanted to try this bad boy out for a long time, actually, but only purchased one after safer-at-home orders left my husband and I to try to get more creative with our couples/solo play. The reviews I had seen for this toy were almost universally exceptional and I had high hopes, even though I had never used a non-penetrative clit-stimulation toy by itself, though.
I’ll will admit, though, that I was not initially blown away with this one. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it felt a little bit weird when I first started using it and I wasn’t quite hitting the sweet spot. It has multiple speeds, but anything higher than the lowest setting right away doesn’t feel good for me. That was my initial mistake – it was some combination of being unpleasant and overly-intense.
However, once I played around with it, I was able to find a good placement and ramped up the speed. I wouldn’t say that it simulates oral sex like other reviewers have stated, but it did feel very good. I enjoy pairing clit stimulation with penetration, but I find that I don’t miss it all that much with this toy.
I’ve used it by myself, while my husband rimmed me, and while my husband took me from behind, all with great results. The toy itself is a little bulky, which limits the sex positions we can be in while using this toy, but there are still enough to choose from.
I don’t think I’ve used the toy at top speed yet, mainly because it is guaranteed to not only give me an orgasm, but to give me an orgasm quickly. My orgasms tend to be very strong with this toy, although they do also tend to be short-lived.
So overall, a very good toy and a nice change from my other toys. I have little egg-shaped clit vibrators, but this creates a different sensation while also still being non-penetrative.
My husband, for one, can put a dog’s greeting to shame. We’ve been together for twelve years now and I don’t think I’ve ever been on all fours and had him do any less than press his face in my ass.
I’m not a whole lot better. I knew everyone in my high school class merely by the view of his or her ass by the time we graduated.
Alicia Stills Author: Erotica and Fantasy 